Adventures In Bunnysitting/Transcript

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Adventures In Bunnysitting GalleryTranscript

[theme song playing]

[Opening shot: Fade into Kara in her bed, her face turned away from the camera. As she tries to sleep, she keeps hearing knocking at her door.]

Kara: (groans as she turns to the side) Stupid super-hearing.

[She puts her pillow over her head, hoping to drown out the sound. Pull back to show her bedroom looks like a mess. four Do Not cross tapes are seen in the corner. Her floor is littered with soda cans, paper balls, socks and plastic bags, etc.]

Jeremiah Danvers: (o.s., from the other side) Kara, your friend is here.

Kara: (sits up, her hair a mess) What? (as she groggily goes over to her door, rubbing her eyes) Who's coming over here this early?

[She grunts as Zee goes through the door, accidently slamming it into Kara while holding two cages in each hand, each one containing a rabbit.]

Zee: Hello Kara dear: my pride and joy.

Kara: Pride and huh?

[Cut to an over-the-shoulder view from Kara. Zee introduces Kara her rabbits. Kara's reflect can be seen in the mirror next to Zee.]

Zee: This is Blackberry Hazel von Hausle III, and this is Dandelion Pipkin de Heisenplay.

[Side view of Kara.]

Kara: M'kay. Why are they in my room?

Zee:Uh, hello. We had a whole text thing about it last night.

Kara: Whatev.

Zee: Please, Kara! You simply cannot flake on me now! This is my very first paid performance as a solo magician, and I need you to care for my two little lovelies while I'm away.

Kara: Can't you just take them with you? Aren't they, you know, part of your act or something?

Zee: [scoff] These are magical rabbits, my dear.They might be a bit much for a children's birthday party. Now, where can I put them?

Kara: I don't know, put them over there.

Zee: [gasp] On this floor? Ugh. Hold these. Now, there are only a few simple rules to bear in mind. First, they must be given only organic vegetables, cut into segments of no larger than an inch cubed. And I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to limit the cruciferous vegetables, as little Blackberry Hazel von Hausle III has had some issues with stomach discomfort recently. Then of course, they'll need access to fresh water at all times, no cooler than 57 degrees Fahrenheit, that's around 13.5 degrees Celsius. Ooh, and very important, when it's time for their brushing—

Kara: [stammering] How long are you gonna be gone?

Zee: Eh, no more than an hour. Now, as to the brushings. Three strokes gently to the left, then five strokes gently to the right.

Kara: Yeah, yeah, I got it.

Zee: Oh, okay. (stops) Oh, well, there is one more rule. (close-up of Kara.)

Kara: Dude!

Zee: Th-th-th-this is the most important rule of all. (close-up of her; she) You're not, under any circumstances, to put these two together. (cut to Kara; O.C.) Do you understand?

[Kara eyes each of the two bunnies before looking back at Zee.]

Kara: Whatev.

Zee: (squeals) Thank you, Kara! Mommy's gonna miss you lovelies. See you soon! Bye-ee!

[rabbits squeaking]

Kara: Who's the cutest little bunny-wunnies of all bunny-wunnies? It's you, isn't it? Yes, yes. Oh, are you the sweetest little magical bunnies? Are you? Are you the sweetest and magicaliest? I think so. Yes, I do.

[squeaking]

Kara: What were your stupid names again? Ah, who cares! You look like a Merlin, and you look like a Harry Houdini! Do you like those names? Yes, yes. Ah, you're so cute! Come here, Merlin. Oh, Merlin's a squishy little wuv-bunny. Yes, he is! Yes, he is! Now you, Harry Houdini. [chuckle] I'm drowning in cuteness! Now for a selfie for only us to see.

[camera shutter clicking]

Kara: Okay, back in your cages.

[whining]

Kara: Huh? Aw! Zee said I should keep you two apart...

[both whining]

Kara: I bet she gives you lots of dumb little rules to follow. She gives me dumb little rules, too. But we don't need those rules, do we? 'cause we're the cutest little magical bunnies ever. Rules are for suckers, aren't they? Yes, they are! Yes, they are. [gasp] You know what would make this even better? Let's have a carrot party!

[squeaking]

Kara: And don't do anything too cute while I'm gone, all right?

Kara: We got lucky, boys. Last one. [gasp] Harry Houdini! [gasp] You're a mom! You are so cute! I can't take it! Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. I never knew I needed this in my life. Say "carrots!"

[squeaking]

[camera shutter click]

Kara: Huh?

[door knock]

Jeremiah: Hey, Kara. I'm headed to the farmer's market. Need anything?

Kara: Carrots?

Jeremiah: You got it.

Kara: Okay, okay. Think, Kara.

[squeaks]

Kara: Ah! No, Kara, stop thinking.

Kara: There. [gasps]

-[squeaking]

Kara: How did I miss these?

Kara: Gah! What is going on?

Kara: [grunting]

Kara: Phew. Eek!

Kara: Uh-oh.

Kara: [grunt] [gasp]

[rabbits squeaking]

Kara: No, no, no, no, no, no!

Kara: Hey, you two. Stop right there!

Kara: Uh, this might be getting slightly out of hand.

Waiter: Aw! [yell]

[squeak]

Crowd: Aw! [screaming]

Kara: Time to take out the adorable trash!

Kara: Halt! [gasp] They're headed for midtown. They'll overrun the whole city! [grunt]

Kara: Sorry, rabbits. This road's closed. Whoa-a. Ah, seriously, guys? [grunt] Whoa-a-aa!

Zee: Now, Tommy, let's see what's behind... your ear!

[squeak]

Zee: Uh... Huh?

Tommy: That's not my quarter. That's a—

Girl: Bunnies!

Zee: [grunt]

[rabbits squeaking]

Kara: So... how's it goin'?

Zee: I told you to keep them apart!

Kara: I did. I totally did, for, like, at least ten minutes... Five... Three minutes, I... One minute.

Zee: Gah!

Kara: What was I supposed to do? They love each other.

Zee: Exactly! That's the problem.

Timmy: Oh, wow! What a great Superman costume!

Kara: This is not a Superman costume.

Zee: Uh, yes, children. This is my lovely assistant, Supergirl! She's here to help with the next trick, which is to make all these rabbits disappear! See, all gone! Come on, lovely assistant. Let's make the rest of these rabbits vanish.

[children] Yeah!

[rumbling]

Zee: Ta-da!

[children] Hurray!

Teddy: Superman's sister is the best!

Kara: Listen, kid, I—

[rumbling]

Kara: Maybe it's just the rest of the city applauding?

[rabbits squeaking]

Zee: Oh, no! They're still together!

Kara: And they still love each other.

[all screaming]

Kara: Ah! Drowning in cuteness!

Zee: I gave you one RULE!

Kara: Nope! No, you didn't! You gave me, like, 500 rules!

Zee: And you broke the only one that MATTERED!!

Kara: How was I supposed to know Harry Houdini was a GIRL?!

Teddy: Whee!

Zee: Harry WHAT?! How DARE you! Those rabbits are PUREBRED MAGICAL CREATURES WITH CAREFULLY SELECTED NAMES!!! THEY ARE NOT TO BE MENTIONED IN THE SAME BREATH... AS MERLIN AND HARRY HOUDINI!!!

Kara: MY NAMES ARE WAY BETTER THAN YOURS!!!!

Zee: NEVER MIND!!!!! The only way to stop magical rabbits... [gasp] is with magic itself. Since the cause of all this is the love between Blackberry Hazel von Hausle III and Dandelion Pipkin de Heisenplay—

Kara: Merlin and Harry Houdini.

Zee: —then I will simply have to cast a hate spell to drive them apart. leef ton stibbar evol kaeps I ["feel not rabbits love, speak I" with each word in reverse]

[whooshing]

Zee: [gasp]

Kara: Uh, what's going on?

[low growl]

Giant rabbit monster: [roar]

Zee: I may have worded that spell wrong.

Kara: I couldn't handle them when they were a million tiny bunnies, but one giant monster? No problem. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh, come on! Let me punch you! [grunt] Hey!

Giant rabbit monster: [roar]

Zee: Supergirl!

Kara: I'm sorry I broke your stupid rule.

Giant rabbit monster: [growl] [roars]

Zee: Run, children! Run!

[children screaming]

Zee: This is not how I raised you!

Giant rabbit monster: [grunt] [roar]

Zee: Supergirl! You're alive! [gasp] Hurry! You've got to separate them!

Kara: But... But they love each other.

Zee: Seriously?!

Kara: [straining]

Giant rabbit monster: [low growl]

Zee: Uh... Ta-da!

[All Cheering]

Zee: Now, if you'll just place Blackberry Hazel von Hausle III in that cage, and Dandelion Pipkin de Hyzenthlay in the other, and never the twain shall meet. Let's just go over the rules again. Cut into segments of no larger than an inch cubed. And I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to limit the cruciferous vegetables...

Kara: Don't worry, Harry Houdini. I'd never keep you from your wittle wove Merlin forever, would I? No, I wouldn't. Rules can't stop true love

[theme music playing]