DC Super Hero Girls Wikia
Speaker Dialogue
[Crowd gasps as Killer Moth flies overhead]
[Crowd screaming]
[The Super Hero Girls show up and fight off Killer Moth as pictures are taken]
[Crowd cheers]
Lois Lane Come on, Olsen, I asked for a scoop and you bring me vanilla. Super Hero Girls save the day? It’s as stale as the half donut under my desk! I am angling for a spot at the Daily Planet here, kid. What I need is a story that will wow ‘em. Something riveting. Something… spectacular. Something… Not that. What? [gasps] You might be on to something, Olsen. What if it’s not about covering the Super Hero Girls? What if it’s about uncovering them?
Kara Big deal. Lois Lane writes stories about us all the time.
Jess You don’t understand. She’s really good, you guys. If she wants to uncover our secret identities, she won’t stop until she does. Everyone will know we are. All eyes will be on us at all times. We’ll never have any privacy. News outlets outside our doors, evildoers following our every move. And when our parents find out… ...we’re gonna be in so much trouble, you guys.
Karen No, no, no. [breathing heavily] I’m too much of a nobody to be that kind of a somebody.
Kara Calm down. We’ve been doing this for ages now. Nobody is going to figure out who we are. Not even Lois Lane.
Lois Got the pudding… now for the proof.
[Locker door slams]
Lois Zee Zatara!
Zee [gasps]
Lois Got time for a few questions?
Zee Uh…
Lois About the amazing magic show?
Zee Oh! [chuckles] Well, what I’m doing isn’t just a magic show. It’s a performance, that artfully blends divination, transfiguration and conjuration with a dash of incantation to create a unique and surreal experience.
Lois Great, great. And where were you on the night Sweet Justice was destroyed?
Zee Oh! I was there with all my friends. You know, the Super- [hesitatingly] friends I… have. [chuckles nervously] My friends who are super… and totally normal. [shrieks]
Karen I’m feeling better. I haven’t needed this for almost an hour.
Zee Jess! You were right about Lois. She’s a word wizard whose unassuming charms nearly match my own. She’s totally on to us!
Karen Ah!
Jess This is bad. We can’t let her talk to anyone else.
Zee Yeah, agreed.
Karen [hyperventilating]
Zee She can’t out us if she can’t- Good gravy! She’s talking to Hal!
Hal Oh! Oh, that’s Hal. H-A-L. Jordon. J-O-R-D-O-N.
Lois Uh, pretty sure it’s an A-N.
Hal It is?
Zee Sorry.
Jess School stuff.
[Hal is dragged off by Zee, Jess, and Karen]
Zee What did she ask you? What did she say?
Hal Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Jess I don’t believe in violence. But I’m willing to make an exception.
Hal Chill, ladies. All she did was ask me some very pointed questions about the Zod incident. And I told her she should talk to Barry, because he is the real storyteller in the group. Oh, hey! Did you know it’s J-O-R-D-A-N?
Barry Then she asked about my job at Sweet Justice, which was nice ‘cause people know I work there but no one really asks about it, you know? And she asked if I was there when it got destroyed, which I totally was. And it was the same day I met the Super Hero Girls and you guys at, you guessed it… Sweet Justice! Small world, huh?
Jess Barry... did you tell Lois we were at Sweet Justice right before the Super Hero Girls showed up?
Barry That is a great question. And I don’t remember. But Lois wrote it all down very fast, so you can maybe ask her?
Karen [hyperventilating]
Zee You guys, Lois is definitely on our tails.
Karen Yeah.
Kara Oh! [scoffs] Please! You’re just being paranoid. It’s not like she’s out there watching our every move.
[Lois watches the Super Hero Girls from across the room]
Babs [gasps] I recognize that stare. It’s a classic, “I’m trying to put the pieces together” detective stare. Quick, you guys, nobody move!
[The Super Hero Girls stay still, Lois writes something in her notepad]
Babs That didn’t work. everybody move.
[The Super Hero Girls move around awkwardly, Lois takes more notes]
Babs That didn’t work either. Run!
[Lois writes something down]
[Killer moths attack phone tower outside window, electricity crackles]
Super Hero Girls Bathroom!
Lois You’ll need the pass.
Moth [screeching]
[The girls are attacked by a Killer Moth out outside, Lois writes it down]
[Crowd clamoring after Super Hero Girls take down some of the moths]
[Batgirl throws away a Burrito Bucket wrapper then sees Lois takes it from the trash]
Babs Argh! I can’t believe I left evidence behind. Such a rookie move. From now on, we eat all food wrappers!
Karen Um, does anyone think we should do something about all these moths that keep showing up?
Kara Priorities please, Karen! [throws weight through ceiling] What should we do about Lois?
Babs Hey, Zee, isn’t there some kind of mind webbing spell that could erase Lois’ memory?
Zee [gasps] Yes, yes, there is. But… I don’t know it. It’s like super hard.
Kara I got an idea. [Flexes arm]
Jess Not every problem can be punched into space, Kara.
Kara Oh.
Diana We must stop running from the problem and face it directly.
Kara [Flexes arm]
Diana No space punching. Something much more cunning.
Diana Greetings, Lois Lane. ‘Tis I, Diana Prince. Hark! Across the street! Is that Wonder Woman?
[Karen is on Jess’ shoulders in a Wonder Woman costume, they grunt as they try to stay balanced]
Diana I am pleased to be all the way over here to witness Her Majesty.
[Lois jots something onto her notepad]
Moth [Screeches]
Supergirl Yeah! Whoo-hoo! I needed that space punch so bad! [chuckles] Now, why are we still here?
Batgirl A good reporter always investigates the scene of a crime. So when Lois shows up after our fight looking for evidence, instead she’ll find the false evidence I planted a realize we are not Super Hero Girls.
[Lois arrives and starts looking around with a magnifying glass]
Batgirl And that somebody else is.
Lois [ picks up a library card belonging to Garth sniffs it and throws it away] This was Barbra Gordon. [Writes notes down]
Supergirl [grumbles] How is she this good?
Batgirl We got to get that book.
[Locker opens]
[Bumblebee buzzes after Lois, pulls the notepad from her backpack and flies away]
Babs Did you get it?
Karen Yeah.
Babs Ha! Without whatever she has been scribbling, she’ll never have the evidence to dis- [Babs opens the notebook and the first page has “WRONG NOTEBOOK LADIES!!! :P” written on it]
Super Hero Girls [gasp]
[Karen faints]
Jess We have failed.
Kara Why didn’t you warn us about her, Jess?
Jess I did, like a zillion times.
Zee Oh, what a surprise. There she is.
[Lois watches them from the other side of the room]
Jess Once she publishes that story, everyone will know who we are. Our normal lives will be over.
Diana This is our final taste of Sweet Justice as ordinary, world of man adolescence. May we take solace in our tasty treats. [chomping]
Kara Well, I guess I’ll have to find a new town to be unappreciated in.
[people panicking in the background]
Karen [gasps]
Killer Moth [growls]
Zee [...]-before it even started. Everyone will see my tricks are just real magic. [groans]
Babs My Batman dreams are over. He’ll never work for some who can’t keep a secret identity.
Karen Um, guys?
Jess And I’ll have to leave this space sector to Hal Jordan who can’t even spell his own name. We are all doomed!
Karen Guys! [points outside to the destruction Killer Moth is causing]
Super Hero Girls [gasps]
[Lois Lane smirks at them, block the exit]
Super Hero Girls [gasps]
Babs Maybe if we wait just a little bit, some other superhero will handle it.
[Super Hero Girls try to act unsuspicious]
TV Reporter Breaking news. Killer Moth and its army of moth-monsters have invaded Metropolis. As of this hour, no superhero team has yet stepped up to save us from this swarm of vicious invaders.
[Super Hero Girls glance at Lois Lane nervously, she smirks back ready to write down whatever they do, they continue in a stand off as the moths attack outside Sweet Justice]
[A moth smacks into the window right behind Lois and startles her out of her seat giving the Super Hero Girls a chance to escape]
[Lois watches the Super Hero Girls fight off the moths on TV]
[Killer Moth screeches at the attack on their kin and launches themself at the heroes]
[They collide and the Super Hero Girls come out victorious]
Lois [watching the news] Bingo.
[Lois types vigorously at her desk in the newsroom]
Lois Daily Planet internship, here I come. [Lois hovers over the send button on the form and looks at the newspaper clips of the Super Hero Girls scattered around the room]
[She frowns, presses the delete button, and closes her computer]
Lois [Sighs]
[The school bell rings and the Super Hero Girls try to act unnoticeable]
Karen Ahh!
Babs [whistles nonchalantly as Lois Lane walks by]
Zee [gasps] Did you see her not seeing us?
Karen Yeah. There was no eye contact. That’s more what I’m used to.
Babs Yeah! We did it, gals. We totally got her off our tail.
Diana Huzzah!
Jess We did it!
Kara Keep walking, Lane.
Lois [walking away] Ah, dummies. [opens newspaper, headline reading “Superman: Great or Greatest?”] Superman, eh? Expose that guy and you got yourself the scoop of scoops. “Written by the Daily Planet’s Newest Intern: Clark Kent” [scoffs] Enjoy your time at the Daily Planet, Kent. I’m coming for you next.