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Crushing ItGalleryTranscript

[theme song playing]

KaraCalling it now... Lady Hamsters ain't losing a game this season...
Kara: ...with Diana on the team! Boom!
Diana: [grunts]
JessicaShe's going to crush it tomorrow on debate team. The other day, the topic was "paper or plastic."Diana shut everyone down with reusable canvas bags! Yeah! Pow!
KarenDudes! She's my science fair partner on Wednesday! We're gonna kill it with some crazy ancient Greek alchemy! Bam!
Babs: Ooh! Ooh! And on Thursday, she's gonna lead the marching band into leading the football team to world domination! Kapowee!
ZeeOh, yeah? Well, she's gonna bring down the house as Juliet in the spring play on Friday. My directing debut will be an absolute triumph! Ba-ba-ba-boom!
Diana: [grunts]
[buzzer sounds]
[everyone cheering]
Girls: Go, Diana!
All: [cheering]
Kara: Diana's got the week of her life ahead of her. I mean, can anything stop her?
Diana: [grunts]
[door opens]
Diana: [gasps]
♪ When he walks in I can barely breathe ♪
♪ He's so beautiful Beyond belief ♪
[all gasp]
Jessica: What?
Kara: Way to jinx it, Karen.
Karen: Me?
[crowd gasping]
Babs & Jessica: Ooh!
All: Aww!
Diana: [thuds]
Kara: Ow!
[crowd gasping]
[buzzer sounds]
Kara: So, that happened.
Jessica: Diana? Diana?
Diana: [groaning]
Babs: Incoming!
Diana: [gasping] What... What happened?
Babs: You were being totally amazing like usual, and then that boy walked in, and suddenly, you were being totally not amazing!
Diana: Boy? You mean... Steve? Incredibly handsome, alluring, more-beautiful-than-Adonis, Steve?
Karen: Uh, yeah, I guess that was him.
Diana: But why would Steve affect my performance? I barely know him. He's only the first boy I ever saw when I arrived to the World of Man from Themyscira.
Zee: Oh, this is gonna be good.
Diana: After a long and arduous journey across the seven seas, I touched down on the sands of this new world. [grunts]
Steve Trevor[whistling]
Diana: And there he was. Steve Trevor.
Steve: Oh, hey, a nickel.
Diana: I had only heard the legends... But to see in real life... A boy... Naturally, I offered him my hand in friendship. It was quite congenial. [laughing embarrassingly] It is no large deal.
Kara: It's no big deal.
Diana: Yes. That.
Steve: Hey, Diana. I thought that was you in the game. Great to see you again. And your pals here, too. Hi.
Diana: [giggling]
All: Hi.
Steve: Hey, listen, since we're buds and all, I wanted to share the big news. I didn't get into the military academy like I wanted, so it looks like I'll be right here at Metropolis High with all of you! [chuckles] Go Hamsters!
Diana: [giggles] Hamsters!
All: Go Hamsters.
Steve: Well, I better be off. Lots of extracurriculars to check out. See you later! Oh, great game, Diana.
Diana: [giggling] Your game is-- okay, Steve, bye. [stuttering] Okay, later, 'k? I don't know. Whatever.[swoons] [grunts] Wait, oh, I'm sorry. Oh, oh! Oh, no! [yells]
Zee: This is not good.
Jessica: The Amazons prepared her for everything. Except talking to boys.
Karen: I remember my first crush. It was brutal.
Babs: [gasps] Do you know what this means? Steve Trevor is Diana's Kryptonite.
Kara: Hey, guys, let's get one thing straight: Kryptonite is Kryptonite. It's extremely painful, and awful, and that dude is not Kryptonite. Besides, this is Diana Prince we're talking about. She can handle anything.
Diana: [grunting] [yells] Oh! And so, just as a battalion of warriors must approach an enemy encampment via an over-ground pass, so, too, must toilet paper hang in the over position. Thank you.
[all cheering]
Jessica: Got this in the reusable bag, suckas!
Diana: [gasps]
Jessica: [grunts]
♪ Can't find the words For how he's making me feel ♪
♪ Could this be... ♪
Steve: Well, gee, I guess I don't really have strong opinions on how you hang your toilet paper. If you're an "over" kind of guy, who am I to judge? But if you're an "under" dude, well, you know, that's okay, too.
Diana: [dopey giggling and clapping] Oh, Steve, I have never heard such eloquence. You're so smart. Is he not smart, everyone?
[crickets chirping]
Boy: [coughs]
Diana: I concede.
Jessica: [screams]
Diana: It was noble Hemera, goddess of the daytime, who bestowed the Philosopher's Stone upon my people. We honor the shining light of her sun by transforming the base metal of our armor into pure, shimmering gold.
Karen: This is incredible! With your knowledge of ancient chemical processes, we'e totally gonna win! Uh, Diana. Uh, Diana.
♪ Can it be, really real ♪ ♪ Is it love... ♪
[all screaming]
Boy: [coughing]
Diana: [dopey giggling] [wheezing]
Karen: [sighs]
Crowd: [cheering]
[band playing]
Diana: [whistles]
♪ In his eyes, do I see love? ♪
♪ Or just surprise ♪
Diana: [whistling]
[band playing]
[cat screeches]
Diana: [whistling]
[dogs barking in distance]
Crowd: [soft murmuring in audience]
Diana: O, Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo!
Zee: She's amazing.
Diana: Deny thy father...
Zee: This play is amazing.
Diana: ...and refuse thy name.
Zee: I'm amazing!
Karen: [whispering]
Zee: What? But he's supposed to be on stage right now!
Oliver QueenUnacceptable! You call these pantaloons? If I cannot play an authentic Romeo, I shall play none at all!
Zee: [scoffs] Who needs you, anyway? I've got Diana. And an understudy. Garth? Garth, where are you?
Steve: Garth is sick.
[both gasp]
Steve: Under-understudy Steve Trevor reporting for duty. [whistling]
Zee: Remind me to banish Garth to the 27th dimension.
Diana: Romeo, doff thy name, and for that name, which is no part of thee, take all myself.
Steve: [squeaky footsteps approaching] Um, I take thee at thy word. Call me but love...
♪ Can't find the the words ♪
♪ For how he's making me feel ♪
♪ Can this be real? ♪
Babs: Kryptonite.
Kara: [grunts]
Babs: [hisses]
Steve: "With love's light wings did I o'erperch these walls..."
-♪ ...really real... ♪
Steve: "...for stony limits cannot hold love out.And what love can do, that dares love attempt." [softly] Uh, I think we're supposed to kiss now. [makes kissing noise]
[kettle whistling]
Steve: [grunts]
[audience gasping]
Jessica: Look on the bright side. At least this week is over.
Aiden: I never wanted to love her, Alexandra, but she's the most important thing to me now.
Babs: [munching]
Diana: [groaning]
Aiden: -The most important thing to me ever.
Jessica: Oh, my goodness! Diana, are you okay?
Diana: [sighs] I do not know what ails me. I cannot eat. I cannot sleep. And my stomach is full of something akin to the fluttering of butterflies. The cause of this illness is a great mystery.
Kara: That's it! We're taking you out and getting your mind...
Diana: [exclaims]
Kara: ...off of "Mr. More-beautiful- than-Adonis."
All: [shout] Yeah!
[brakes screech]
[cat meowing]
Diana: [gasps] [mumbling]
Steve: Oh, hi, Diana. Hi, Diana. Hi, Diana. [echoing] Hi, Diana. Hi, Diana.Oh, hi, Diana. Hi, Diana. Hi, Diana.
Diana: [cooing] [giggling]
Babs: Incoming!
Karen: Is this how she's gonna be from now on?
Babs: I don't know. Hey, Kara...
[bucket thuds]
Babs: Is this what happens to Kryptonians, when they're repeatedly overexposed to--
Kara: [grunts and yells] Gah! Stop with the Kryptonite, already!
Diana: [cooing]
Kara: Come on, lady, snap out of it! You can't let some boy do this to you! You're an Amazon warrior. You're Wonder Woman! You're literally a symbol of female empowerment!
Jessica: Leave her alone, Kara! Poor Diana is entitled to her feelings. This crush is natural and normal. And she'll deal with it on her own time, and in her own way.
Diana: That's crazy, Steve. I like vanilla, too.
Babs: Or, we could just take out Steve Trevor.
All: [agree]
Karen: Let's take him out.
Steve: [whistling] [whistling]
[phone ringing]
Steve: Hello? Jeepers, I got into the Military Academy after all? Neato! How about that?
[disconnect line]
Steve: [continues whistling]
[keyboard clacking]
Babs: What? I took him out. By hacking into the Military Academy and getting him accepted. What were you guys gonna do?
Diana: [grunting]
[audience cheering]
[buzzer sounds]
All: [cheering]
Kara: Thank goodness we don't have to worry about that Steve Trevor guy anymore.
Babs: You mean Steve Kryptonite?
Kara: Let me explain this to you one more time. It's simple. Kryptonite is from the planet Krypton!
Zee: Come on, Diana, hurry up.
Diana: I am nearly ready.
[theme music playing]