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Illusions of GrandeurGalleryTranscript

[theme song playing]

[audience cheering]
[dramatic music playing]
Thank you, thank you.
Please, a round of applause for my charming daughter.
Hey.
[cheering]
[laughs]
And now ladies and gentlemen, we've come to my final trick of the evening.
A trick so risky, so daring, that the squeamish among you may want to look away.
[gasps]
Tonight, I will make my lovely assistant... disappear.
[audience cheering]
Spirits beyond.
I summon thee here.
Heed my command.
Make this girl disappear.
Behold.
[audience exclaiming]
Oh, awesome.
[crowd] Encore. Encore.
Bravo. Amazing.
That was amazing, Zee.
I can't believe this is your life.
You're, like, a total star.
[sighs] Yeah, well...
And the fact that you've spent your whole life traveling the whole world entertaining people with your dad, it's so cool.
Hmm... Indeed.
You're seriously the biggest celebrity I know.
Maybe. But I'm about to be even bigger.
What do you mean?
[gasp] You're not leaving the act, are you?
What? Of course not.
That would break poor Daddy's heart.
But I am working on my own act.
One day people will know the name, Zee Zatara.
And that, my dear Karen, is where you come in.
What?
[groans]
[Zee clears throat]
[yelps]
Whenever you're ready.
[gulps]
[clears throat]
[Karen] Prepare yourselves ladies and gentlemen, for an experience unlike any other.
This is the great and powerful
Zee Zatara,
Princess of Presti...
Prestididge...
Prestidigitation.
Presti... tation.
[grunts] Prestidigitation.
[people exclaiming]
Huh?
[grumbles]
[people chattering]
Wow, Zee, he wears more eye shadow than you.
All right. Look, look.
Right here. Eyes on me.
Ready? Heads or tails?
Heads.
[gasps] Did you see that?
He totally switched hands.
[gasps]
[all exclaiming]
Ugh. A double-headed coin?
Really? How uninspired.
What's he going to do next, the detachable thumb trick?
[people exclaiming]
You have got to be kidding me.
[Ace of Spades] All right.
Pick a card, any card.
Go ahead. Go ahead.
Uh-huh. Okay, ready?
Watch this. Watch.
Ready? Wait for it...
Is this your card?
[sighs]
[thuds]
That isn't magic.
You're nothing but an overly-leathered, flimflam man.
See?
[all gasping]
He's turned them all into aces of spades.
He's incredible.
Ugh! That is not magic.
This is magic.
thearw srewolf ["wreath flowers" with each word reversed]
spriah ["hairpiece"]
naf yawa ["fun away"]
Ta-da!
Fake.
[tourist 1] You could learn a thing or two from Ace of Spades.
[tourist 2] I love his magic.
[tourist 3]
It's so raw, so real.
Raw and real?
Raw and real?
Oh, I'll give him raw and real.
Uh, Zee?
ees yvne sith ["see envy this"]
All right. Look.
Watch. Eyes on me.
Is this your card?
Ta-da!
Uh, that's not even a card.
What kind of magician are you?
[tourist 4] Lame.
So... who wants ice cream?
Uh...
[growling]
What?
[growls]
[exclaiming]
[yelps]
[all laughing]
Oh, my.
[all laughing]
[all screaming]
[children screaming]
So, uh, back there it was, uh...
I know.
A complete disaster.
No, I--
I just want to show the world what I can do.
[people screaming]
The kind of magician
I really am.
I just want to touch an audience.
Don't worry, Zee,
I bet someday you'll be known the world over as the greatest magician of them all.
You really think so?
Yeah. I really do.
[both screaming]
[both] Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!
[screaming]
Karen, what's happening?
Those faces.
Zee. Your spell.
My spell? But how?
My magic can't do something like...
But I was angry.
It was me.
This is all my fault.
What do I do?
What do I do? What do I--
Snap out of it, woman.
This is no time for crying, it's time for heroing.
You're right, Karen.
Let's teach these little monsters some manners.
Ew. Ew. Ew. Get it off.
Get it off. Get it off.
[screams]
Okay. Now it's time for heroing.
[laughs]
[screaming]
[laughing]
[buzzing]
[gremlins cackling]
Come on.
Dang it.
[all screeching]
[Bumblebee gasps]
[gremlins cackling]
[screams]
[all] Aw.
[gasps]
[baby laughing]
[growling]
[screaming]
[baby giggling]
Huh?
[gremlins cackling]
Help!
Zatanna! Help!
Get me out of here.
Back. Little to the right.
A little more.
Would you shush, you're distracting me.
Ugh.
Just fly out of there.
Just teleport me.
Oh, yeah.
[crashing]
[gasps]
What do we do?
They're just so dreadfully evil.
[both whimper]
[both laughing]
Wait a minute.
What if they're not?
What if they're just having fun?
Look at them, Zatanna.
They're just trying to entertain themselves.
Well, if it's entertainment these gremlins want, it's entertainment they shall have.
And that, my dear Karen, is where you come in.
Prepare yourselves, ladies and gentle-monsters, for an experience unlike any other.
This is the great and powerful
Zee Zatara, princess of prestidigitation.
Yeah.
All right, you little beasts, who'd like to be entertained?
[all chattering excitedly]
[giggling]
[all exclaiming]
[whimpers]
[grunts]
[all] Ah!
[gasps]
[exclaims]
[all] Ah!
And now we've come to my final trick of the evening.
A trick so risky, so daring, that the squeamish among you may wish to look away.
I will make my lovely assistant... disappear.
Wait, what?
Trust me.
Uh...
Lovely assistant.
Now watch closely, my fiendish friends...
[all grunting]
Spirits beyond,
I summon thee here, heed my command, make this girl disappear.
Behold.
[all cheering]
Now, do I have any volunteers from the audience?
[laughs]
Hmm.
snilmerg ib enog ("gremlins be gone" with each word reversed)
[panting]
Ta-da.
You did it. It worked.
Fake.
[groans]
[sighs] Why do I even try?
Because how else are you gonna be the greatest magician the world has ever known?
Karen, you're the best assistant a magical girl could ever ask for.
[theme music playing]
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