DC Super Hero Girls Wikia
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[theme song playing]
(Titans Tower)
Beast Boy: Oh, mans. It's glorious!
Cyborg: Watching TV will never be the same.
Robin: Can you believe someone was just throwing this beauty away? I mean this baby's got it all! That pristine wood foam laminate.
Cyborg: Brackets for CDs, DVDs, cassettes, all kinds of obsolete physical media.
Raven: A family of marmots living in a stereo drawer. [marmots squeaking]
Starfire: And do not forget the shelving for all of our many books.
Teen Titans: [all laughing]
Robin: [grunts]
Beast Boy: Ain't no thang. We just got to find something to wedge under its. Hmm. Hmm.
Raven: [talking to him in his mind] Think harder, genius.
Beast Boy: Yo, this little squidgy will do.
Robin: Nice work! Now to see what's on. [remote clicks]
Control Freak: Hello, Titans!
Robin: Control Freak? What madness do you have in store this time? You gonna turn us into claymation? Make us hawk food processors in some tacky three-camera infomercial? Twist us into a gritty live-action series targeted at adult audiences?
Raven: That's been done. So gritty.
Control Freak: Oh, weren't you clods paying attention to the opening credits?
Cyborg: In our defense, we were getting this thing up the stairs.
Control Freak: This is your... [reading] Super Hero Crossover Event!
[party horns squeak flatly]
Raven: You mean like another movie?
Control Freak: Uh, did I say, "movie"?
Robin: [groans] Not a crossover. That's when a lame show tries to glom onto a cooler one in order to boost their popularity.
Beast Boy: Oh, no! Are we's being canceled?
Control Freak: One can only hope.
Cyborg: Everyone knows a good crossover has to have some epic threat that brings the heroes from two worlds together. And epic threats just aren't our thing.
Control Freak: Who said this was a good crossover, huh?
Robin: [gulps] He means business, Titans. We'd better play along.
Starfire: [grunts] Robin, please, what are you doing?
Robin: In superhero crossovers, each team is introduced in an action set piece, you know, to remind the audience how awesome the heroes are even before they meet their counterparts.
Cyborg: Quick, everybody, do something action-y, before they cut away to the other h--
[thrilling music playing]
Catwoman: The Super Hero Girls? But our plan for this heist was purr-fect. [meows]
Supergirl: Oh, oh, sorry, Mittens. No matter how "purr-fect" your plan is, our captain is always gonna have a perfecter one.
Wonder Woman: I'm flattered. But it is a team effort.
Giganta: [grunting]
Harley Quinn: Peek-a-boo! I whomp you!
Batgirl: Zatanna!
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): I got her!
Zatanna: [screams][grunts]
Harley Quinn: [laughs][grunts]
Batgirl: That's my friend, Harleen.
Harley Quinn: Oh, you care about your friends now, Babs?
Batgirl: I do, when they're not supervillains.
Harley Quinn: Oh, don't be so dramatic.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Zee, are you okay?
Zatanna: [growls] Wha-- Oh, yeah. Totally. How are you?
Giganta: One of these days, we're going to crush you jerks! And... Wait. What's this?
Harley Quinn: Ah, who cares what it is. It's bustin' us free! So long, clowns!
(Sweet Justice)
Hal: [scoffs] Let me guess. Creepy purple cloud got 'em?
Diana: Exactly. How did you know?
Hal: Same thing happened to me last week when I took Solomon Grundy down.
Carter: And when I was pounding on the Riddler.
Barry: Yesterday, I stopped both Toyman and Cheetah. Each time... [makes whooshing sounds] gone.
Garth: Uh... Oh, nothing happened to the bad guys I caught this week. Of course, I didn't catch any bad guys, but I did help my neighbor find his lost cat.
Babs: Sounds like we have a mystery to solve.
Hal: Babs, I think what you meant to say is, "we" have a mystery to solve.
Kara: Boys, there's no need to compete. Now! Go!
[girls laughing]
[boys grunting]
Babs: We'll let you know where the bad guys went after we find 'em!
(Hall of Doom)
Lex Luthor: I know what you're asking yourselves. What would a multi-billionaire like me want with such an eclectic group of... -you?
[toilet flushes]
Harley Quinn: This Hall of Doom must've cost you a mint. You think you could afford a decent hand-dryer in the ladies room? [squishing sounds] Ew, real fur? What are you, like, an actual cat?
Cheetah: [growls softly]
Harley Quinn: Hey, Selina, eat your heart out.
Lex Luthor: [clears throat] What if I told you I hold the power to get rid of every superhero? While searching through the remains of Krypton, my space probe came across the Amulet of Cythonna. This device uses an ancient science even I have yet to understand. But its power is undeniable.
Solomon Grundy: [scoffs] Power? Luthor no find trinket in space. Luthor find trinket in cereal box.
[villains laugh boisterously]
Lex Luthor: If it weren't for this, Chuckles, you'd be in jail now. But if you are still not convinced...
Solomon Grundy: [grunts]
Harley Quinn: Uh, where'd he go?
Lex Luthor: They call it the Phantom Zone. But you can think of it as our own personal superhero dumping ground.
Solomon Grundy: [screams, grunts]
Star Sapphire: [growls] If you have that, why do you need us?
Lex Luthor: Someone's gotta lure all those heroes into our little trap.
(Super Hero Girls' Base)
Jess: These are the spots the mist was seen.
Babs: Hmm. I don't see a pattern. But if you squint just right, it kind of looks like a puppy.
Jess: Come on, Babs. We have to ke-- -Aw...
Karen: Guys, check this out.
Zee: See something in your armor-cam video?
Karen: Not see, hear. Just listen.
Cythonna: Cythonna.
Zee: Uh, is it saying, "cellphones"?
Babs: Sounds more like "syphon oats."
Kara: She's saying "Cythonna". But that's impossible.
Diana: What is Cythonna?
Kara: Well, not what. Who. I mean, even a planet of science dorks like Krypton had its mythology, and Cythonna was the goddess of darkness, blight, and suffering.
Jess: Yeesh. Bet she was a blast at parties.
Kara: Story goes, she ran the show on Krypton for centuries, which was pretty much a hot heap of stink for all concerned, until, one day, her kid brother, Rao, god of sun and other stuff, trapped her in an amulet and chucked her into space. So while kids here are told to wish upon a shooting star, we were told to behave, it could be Cythonna coming to get you.
Jess: And did you believe that?
Kara: What? No! No. I'm from Krypton. No one believed in ancient yet terrifying myths like that. So, yeah, let's just talk about something else, all right? Did I hear there's a map that looks like a puppy?
(Metropolis Pier)
Giganta: 'Sup nerds? Mind if we play?
Cheetah: [growls]
[woman screams]
Toyman: [laughs]
The Flash: Hey, Giganta! You're not gonna disappear this time.
Giganta: Oh, we ain't disappearing. You are!
The Flash and Green Arrow: Huh? [both scream]
[people scream]
Giganta: That's what happens to any superhero dumb enough to face the Legion of Doom!
(Metropolis downtown)
[Poison Ivy and Star Sapphire vs Katana]
Katana: [grunts] [screams]
[Catwoman and Harley Quinn vs Blue Beetle]
Harley Quinn: Ooh. [grunts]
Blue Beetle: [screams]
[Toyman and Riddler vs Green Lantern]
Green Lantern (Hal Jordan): Hmph! [screams]
Toyman and Riddler: [cheering triumphantly]
(Metropolis Park)
Livewire and Solomon Grundy: [laughing]
Aqualad: Oh, no! [screaming] Oh, this is terrible!
Hawkman: Chin up, Garth. We're not done yet.
Aqualad: No! Mr. Goodberry's cat got out again! [struggling]
[cellphone rings]
Kara: Hey, half-pint, you calling to say you guys give up looking for the bad guys?
Aqualad: No, we found them, and it's not great.
Kara: Wait. Garth, are you okay? Talk to me. [cellphone beeps]
Aqualad: They've teamed up, and we think they got Ollie, Hal, and Barry too. They call themselves the Legacy of Doom!
Hawkman: It's the Legion of Doom, Garth.
Aqualad: Really? I could swear Livewire said...
Kara: Guys, prioritize details. Where are you?
Aqualad: The park! Hurry! I can't... hold... [screams]
[phone beeps]
Diana: Team, to the park.
[transform sequence]
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Any sign of them? Oh, no.
Bumblebee: Hawkman's mace. You don't think...
Zatanna: [gasps] Hey, what's that? [chants incantation]
Supergirl: It looks Kryptonian, or maybe ancient Kryptonian, because I can only make out a few of the... the words. Oh. Oh, that's not good.
Batgirl: What? What does it say?
Supergirl: I think this thing sent our friends to the Phantom Zone.
Zatanna: You mean that creepy limbo dimension?
Bumblebee: But we saw what it took to open a portal. How can one little ball...
Supergirl: "Cythonna". I'm not sure what the rest of this says, but I know this says "Cythonna".
Wonder Woman: Clearly, whatever we're up against is far more formidable than we anticipated. We will need a plan.
Supergirl: How's this for a plan? Find the jerks who are using stuff from my dead homeworld to hurt our friends and, formidable or not, take 'em down.
Batgirl: But how do we find this Legion of Doom? BT dubs, very cool name. Makes you wish we put a little more effort into Super Hero Girls.
Supergirl: I got a hunch this little guy might be our biggest clue.
Bumblebee: Kara, where are you going?
Supergirl: To see a translator.
(Clark's Apartment)
Clark: [laughs] Legion of Doom? That's rich.
Supergirl: Quit it. I think they used Kryptonian magic to send my friends to the Phantom Zone. See, this says "Cythonna".
Clark: [sighs] Your Kryptonian is awful. This doesn't say "Cythonna". And even if it did, hello, there's no such thing as Kryptonian magic. Cythonna is a fairy tale.
Supergirl: You think this is a joke?
Clark: I'm sure your buddies are probably just off goofing around somewhere.
Supergirl: "Goofing around"?
Clark: Remember when you couldn't find that one kid for two days because he locked himself in a port-a-pooper?
Supergirl: Garth was only locked inside one day. He spent the second day in the shower.
Clark: Look, Kara. This has been fun. But if I thought for a second your pals were in danger or someone got ahold of a Kryptonian weapon, believe me, I'd be all over it. Hmph! [communicating with the Justice League] She knows about the Phantom Zone.
(Phantom Zone)
Aqualad: Still no guesses? I'll give you a hint. It's not bigger than a breadbox. Anyone? Okay. One more hint. It's not smaller than a breadbox either.
The Flash: [running] Hal, I ran an hour out in all directions.
Green Lantern (Hal Jordan): Nothing? Argh! [power ring] And my ring still can't seem to penetrate this darkness.
The Flash: I hate to say this. We're stuck here.
Aqualad: Give up? It is a breadbox! Gotcha!
(Super Hero Girls' Base)
Young Diana: [grunting] I failed. I am sorry, mother.
Hippolyta: Sorry? "Sorry" will not shield you from a vengeful enemy. Nor will it shield those who follow you.
[present time]
Diana: [gasps]
Babs: Worried about the Legion of Doom?
[mace thuds]
Diana: Why? Are you concerned a miscalculation in my leadership against this unknown evil may bring you harm? Do you not realize I love you all too much to allow that to happen? Zeus as my witness, Barbara Gordon, that will not happen!
Babs: Uh, thanks, D. I love you too. No, I was actually thinking about the Legion because of Harleen. I thought, since we found out each other's secret, she'd, you know...
Diana: Change her ways.
Babs: I know Harleen, Diana. She's not evil.
Diana: It is heartbreaking, but you do realize that, for months, Harley Quinn has held a supervillain's deadliest weapon.
Babs: A heat-seeking poison-tipped scimitar?
Diana: Your secret identity. She knows who you are, and yet, has done nothing about it.
Babs: You're right. So, I guess there is hope.
Kara: [groaning] Well, Super-jerk blew me off.
Babs: [whispering] They still don't know.
Diana: He would not help translate that sphere?
Babs: Hmm. If only we had an ancient Kryptonian-to-English dictionary lying around, huh?
Kara: Actually, I know where we could find something way better than a dictionary.
(North Pole)
Zatanna: [exclaims] My heat spell maybe keeping me warm, but this drastic climate change is going to be murder on my hair.
Supergirl: Okay, Zee. Don't worry. Not much farther.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Not much farther to what?
Supergirl: That!
(Fortress of Solitude)
Bumblebee: Are you sure it's okay we're here?
Supergirl: Totally not. No. That's why he calls it his Fortress of Solitude, and not, I don't know, a...
Batgirl: The Buddy Bunker? Friendship Depot? Ooh. Kal-El's House of ha-has.
Superman Robot: Stop right there.
Bumblebee: Oh, we're in so much trouble.
Supermen Robots: Stop right there. Stop right there. Stop right there.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Kara, how many last sons did Krypton actually have?
Supergirl: Relax, these are just his dumb robot guards. Hey, they're tall, tan, and gruesome. It's cousin Kara. I-- Ow! Huh? This one must have a loose circuit or something. Just gonna take a quick look-see. [punches] Okay. Which one of you glorified coffee makers is next?
[electricity crackles]
[chants incantation]
[both grunting]
Superman Robot:[grunts] Ha-ha.
Zatanna: Hmph! Gotta say, not impressed.
Wonder Woman: Where is Supergirl?
Supergirl: She's over here, gang. Good news, she got what we came for. Ta-daa! Told you we'd be in and out. You sure did. In fact, you can say you were a-head of the game. [chuckles] [laughing] Oh, you're so funny. Oh, you're so funny. Guys, guys, I'm doing a... talking as both of us...
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): So, Kara, what's in that case, anyway?
Supergirl: This is Krypton's entire wealth of knowledge. It'll give us the true poop on Cythonna and her amulet.
Bumblebee: Wow. A complete culture stored in just a handful of crystals.
Supergirl: [chuckles] Oh, yeah. Kryptonians loved their crystals. These babies hold all kinds of things.
Superman: Funny. I don't recall inviting guests.
Batgirl: Another robot? I got this one.
Wonder Woman: Batgirl, wait!
Batgirl: [grunts] Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! He's real, he's real, he's real, he's real!
Superman: Put the crystals back, Kara.
Supergirl: No way. Listen, Clark, I know you don't believe me, but there is a huge threat.
Superman: I do believe you.
Supergirl: Don't interrupt me! -Wait. Wha...
Superman: You're right. In fact, I already knew Lex Luthor is behind the Legion of Doom, and that they're sending heroes to the Phantom Zone using a Kryptonian device.
Zatanna: The Amulet of Cythonna.
Supergirl: Wait, so, if you knew all of this, why did you blow me off at your place?
Superman: Because I also knew you're out of your league. Luthor is not to be trifled with.
Batgirl: We've taken him down before.
Superman: Not with a deadly weapon like this, you haven't. I know Luthor. This time, he's playing for keeps.
Supergirl: What are you saying?
Superman: What kind of hero would I be if I let a bunch of kids walk off to their doom?
Supergirl: Thanks, Dad. You think you could stop us on your own?
Superman: Yeah, I do. But even if I couldn't...
[Hawaiian tune plays]
Zatanna: [exclaims]
Superman: ...the Justice League could.
Batgirl: The Justice League? Another cool name!
Aquaman: Yeah, I wanted to call ourselves the Super Friends, man. But I got out-voted.
Zatanna: [sighs] So unfair. I mean, we appreciate the concern, gentlemen, but we are more than capable of handling ourselves.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Yeah, John, you helped train me on Oa. I was the top of my class.
Green Lantern (John Stewart): Sorry, rookie. Pacifism won't cut it this time. Punches have got to be thrown.
Batgirl: [exhales] This is just dumb. Batman, buddy. Tell these guys how we saved Gotham.
Batman: [hoarsely] Not this time.
Batgirl: What do you mean, "Not this time"?
Superman: The League already has a plan. Frankly, you'd only be getting in the way.
Supergirl: Our friends are the ones in trouble. So, if we're in your way, go ahead and move us. [grunts] [zapping]
Superman: [inhales] [ice shattering]
Supergirl: [whines, grunts]
[Batarang skidding]
Batgirl: Diamagnetic repulsor. [gasps] So cool.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): I may not be swinging fists, but I have no problem restraining you in one.
Green Lantern (John Stewart): I'm gonna disagree, and say you have a pretty big problem.
Zatanna: [gushes]
Aquaman: So, uh, shouldn't we be fighting? Feel like we're just kinda standing here.
Zatanna: Oh, [clears throat] I don't care. I'm up for whatever. What do you feel like?
[ice breaking]
Supergirl: [grunts]
Superman: Kara, stay down. [sighs] Can't you see I'm trying to protect you?
Supergirl: [groans] Do we look like we need protecting? [grunts]
Superman and Supergirl: [both grunting]
Wonder Woman: [shockwaves] Enough!
Batgirl: Woohoo, you guys are in trouble now.
Wonder Woman: Superman, you say you have a plan stop the Legion of Doom and free our friends?
Superman: Yes.
Supergirl: What about Cythonna?
Superman: There is no Cythonna, Kara. The ancient science that amulet uses may be deadly. But it's just another weapon. Once it's out of the wrong hands, it's harmless.
Wonder Woman: And you are confident in your plan?
Superman: What do you think?
[dramatic music playing]
Wonder Woman: We shall defer to the Justice League.
Super Hero Girls: [all gasp]
[suspenseful music playing]
Supergirl: Are you kidding me?
Super Hero Girls: [girls groan]
(Hall of Doom)
Star Sapphire: Ooh! I can't wait till those Super Hero Girls show their faces.
Catwoman: And we send them to limbo for eternity.
Legion of Doom: [all cackling]
Harley Quinn: Yeah, but since it's eternity, we got time. I mean, it's not like we have to send them to limbo today.
Cythonna: You must be so proud. As their confidence grows, so does their malevolence.
Lex Luthor: Have you forgotten, Cythonna? You are a silent partner.
Cythonna: [scoffs] Of course not. I appear to only you, in this astral form. [Lex Luthor shudders] Albeit, weakly, for, as you know, my powers are limited while I remain trapped within this cursed prison forever.
Lex Luthor: It's not all bad. Possessing your prison grants me access to that limited power.
Cythonna: In return, I only ask--
Lex Luthor: Oh, I know what you want. And perhaps once I, Lex Luthor, am victorious, I will indulge you. If I'm in a good mood.
Cythonna: You haven't begun to know what I want.
[glass breaking]
[mysterious music playing]
(Super Hero Girls' Base)
Kara: We're gonna defer to the League? Okay, I'll admit, I don't know what defer means, but I'm pretty sure you told him, we just roll over. Since when do we back down from a fight? Are you afraid?
Diana: I am an Amazon! I fear no fight. Kara, your will is the strongest of any warrior I have known. And while that is part of what makes you so mighty, it can also make you vulnerable when you allow it to become bullheadedness. This brings me no pleasure either. But you chose me as your leader, not to make popular decisions. But the tough ones.
Kara: And what if the League blows it? Then what, huh? We left our only clue to stopping anything at the North Pole.
(Outside of Sweet Justice)
[doorbell chiming]
Diana: [sighs wearily]
[cell phone ringing]
Kara: Ugh. [grunts]
Babs: Say, Kara, what was that about leaving our only clue at the North Pole?
Kara: You swiped my cousin's data crystals. [laughs]
(Daily Planet)
Superman: Bet your friends are mad at you, huh?
Wonder Woman: Superman? This was from you?
Superman: From him, actually.
Batman: [mutters indistinctly]
Wonder Woman: Join me? I am sorry, but I already belong to a team. A team you dismissed!
Superman: Look, I don't know you well, but I do know you'd never back down from a fight against evil. The only reason you stepped aside was to protect them. Because, at the end of the day, they are just kids.
Batman: [mutters indistinctly]
Wonder Woman: And how exactly am I different, Batman?
Superman: You're no kid. You got more combat expertise than any of us.
Wonder Woman: I have sworn to protect this world. And to stand up to any threat. But-- [sighs]
Superman: But you're worried about dissing your friends? This is bigger than that, Diana. If Luthor wins, a lot more than feelings are gonna get hurt.
(Super Hero Girls' Base)
Jor-El: My precious son, Kal-El. There is much you must know about ancient Krypton.
Zatanna: Uh, Kara, I know this is like a piece from your lost planet. So, please don't take this the wrong way, but, snore.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Zee, don't be rude! [machine whirring] But can we just skip to the part about the amulet? [slurping]
Supergirl: And for such a technologically-advanced society, our home media playback systems were surprisingly awful.
Jor-El: Then deglaze the pan before adding the mushrooms. Cremini mushrooms of planet Earth should be good.
Batgirl: You mean we gotta sit through all of these? That'll take days.
Bumblebee: Not if I can get my data interface device up and running. I'll be able to download everything in seconds. But if not, then, yes. It will take days.
Batgirl: Uh. Isn't there at least a fast forward?
Supergirl: Ugh, we weren't cave people, Barbara. [recording speeds up]
Jor-El: My sweet, beloved, cherished Kal-El.
Batgirl: Ugh. And I thought my dad was mushy.
Jor-El: My role as Krypton's lead ancient historian is just as important as my role as lead scientist. My role as lead economic advisor-- [slams machine] Lead municipality specialist-- [slams machine]
Zatanna: Lead flash fryer and tomato slicer at Krypton's number one fast food chain--
Supergirl: [shushes] Here it is.
Jor-El: Long believed to be merely a relic from a lost science, the Amulet of Cythonna is, in fact, something far more sinister. For as impossible as it may seem, the crystal within does, in fact, contain the essence of the Goddess of Darkness.
Bumblebee: Wait... The actual goddess?
Jor-El: For eons, the imprisoned Cythonna has floated through the cosmos, in search of the one thing that may free her: evil! She feeds on the souls of the wicked.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Like Luthor and the Legion of Doom.
Jor-El: The souls will become her servants and, in turn, create more evil for her to devour.
Batgirl: Ooh, I get it. Luthor isn't using Cythonna. She's using him. That's actually way worse.
Jor-El: Once she has become strong enough, she will free herself from her prison. [crystal shattering] [all gasp] She will assume a new Kryptonian vessel and reclaim the universe as her dominion.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): The League has totally underestimated what they're up against.
Zatanna: [gasps] We have to warn Aquaman. I mean, the League. We have to warn the League.
Batgirl: I'll call Diana.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Kara, what do you think your uncle meant by "a new Kryptonian vessel"?
Supergirl: I don't know. Well, I guess we could listen to some more of my uncle--
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): I was just curious.
Zatanna: No way.
Batgirl: Guys. Diana's not answering.
(Titans Tower)
Robin: Hey, what's going on? I thought this was supposed to be a crossover.
Raven: Not that I'm complaining, but we haven't done anything here.
Starfire: While I am enjoying the escapades of the heroes that are both girls and super, I do not see any evidence of the "crossing" or the "over".
Cyborg: Yeah, and what's the big deal about this crossover anyway? We already met the Super Hero Girls a bunch of times.
Beast Boy: Youse were even there one time, you remembers?
Control Freak: That was on your show, you clowns. And while your show plays fast and loose with internal logic, throws continuity out its window, and chooses poop jokes over actual story, their show maintains a coherent, cohesive narrative.
Cyborg: Yeah, but how are their ratings?
Control Freak: Meh.
Robin: [gasps] Wait a minute. That's it. We're not glomming onto their popularity.
Raven: They're glomming on to ours.
Teen Titans: [all gasp]
Beast Boy: I's, I's don't knows what to says. I feel so, so used right now.
Starfire: Indeed. Much like the bauble that Beast Boy for used for the propping up of the TV. I too am feeling wedged into something, to which I do not belong. With the assigned, expressed purpose of holding it up.
Robin: This stinks, Control Freak.
Control Freak: Oh, come now, Robin. I thought you'd be flattered by how much they think of your funny, action-packed, popular show.
Robin: Oh. Well, you flatter us. It is pretty-- Hey! You can't blow me off with compliments.
Cyborg: Yeah. I mean, if you don't give us this event, at least you can give us something.
Beast Boy: Like a song, yo. Break it down, Cy.
[♪ "Don't Crossover My Heart" ♪]
Cyborg: ♪ You say you got us In this crossover thang ♪
Beast Boy: ♪ But this ain't how it's supposed to go ♪
Cyborg: ♪ It ain't supposed to be like this, y'all ♪
♪ Where's the part where we meet the other team and then laughing ♪
Beast Boy: ♪ And the dumb misunderstandings that bring us to blows? ♪
Cyborg: ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
Teen Titans: ♪ Don't crossover my heart ♪
Cyborg: ♪ (Don't do it) ♪
Teen Titans: ♪ Don't crossover my heart ♪
Starfire: ♪ We must find the compare and contrast to our counterparts ♪
Cyborg: ♪ (Yeah) ♪
Robin: ♪ Don't forget the obligatory romance between two crossed hearts ♪
Cyborg: ♪ (Don't push it, Rob) ♪
Teen Titans: ♪ Don't crossover my heart ♪ ♪ Don't crossover--
Control Freak: Stop! And you wonder why you're not featured in this event more?! [scoffs]
(Hall of Doom)
Lex Luthor: My trap has been set. Any remaining heroes who oppose me will be crushed.
Cythonna: But what of the Kryptonian?
Lex Luthor: Look, I haven't forgotten your request. Perhaps I'll honor it. If it suits me. [dramatic music playing] And it does suit me. [Cythonna controlling him] The Kryptonian you require will arrive shortly.
Cythonna: The Legion's evil is making me stronger by the second. Soon, I shall be free.
Supergirl: [communicating] I don't see any sign of Diana up here.
Bumblebee: [communicating] I'm coming up empty too.
Zatanna: [communicating] Ugh, we better regroup.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): [communicating] So the last any of us heard from her was that group text from an hour ago.
Batgirl: [in the Batcycle, communicating] Right! The one that just said, "I'm in"?
Supergirl: [communicating] Yeah, but in what?
Zatanna: [communicating] Actually, looking at this again, I think the real question might be, who are all these other numbers she included on that text?
Bumblebee: [communicating] I just assumed it was another one of Diana's tech goofs, because I don't recognize any of the numbers.
Supergirl: I do. This is Clark's.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): And this one comes up as John Stewart.
(Outside of Sweet Justice)
Batgirl: Batman's emergency line is here too.
Bumblebee: So, maybe including these other numbers wasn't a mistake.
Supergirl: But including ours was.
Batgirl: And when Diana said "I'm in", she meant...
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): In the Justice League.
Zatanna: Just curious. That would make this last number Aquaman's, right? [giggles]
[dramatic music playing]
Superman: [communicating] Batman's traced the amulet's radiation signature to this swamp. We should be closing in on the Legion's headquarters any second now.
Aquaman: Ah, about time, man. That dude can build anything with that ring. Try a little lumbar support next time. Am I right? Oh, okay. Another serious one, huh?
Wonder Woman: I am sorry?
Aquaman: No, no, it's cool. Just between Sergeant Green-never-grin, Dracula man and the Ego Scout, [whispering] this team's got the personality of a sea sponge.
Wonder Woman: I do not know this Sergeant Green-never grin.
Aquaman: [chuckles] All right. Well, none of these guys has a sense of humor.
Superman: [over radio] All right, team. Let's go over the plan.
Wonder Woman: Superman will lead the direct strike.
Green Lantern (John Stewart): While Batman uses the distraction to sneak in and steal the amulet.
Batman: [muttering]
Aquaman: I'm gonna be honest here, I am not completely sure what he just said, but I think it had something to do with using the amulet to free the other dudes?
Batman: [muttering]
Aquaman: All right, and then destroy the amulet. [laughs] Right. Is it just me, or is anyone else having trouble understanding the bat guy? 'Cause I'd be surprised if it was just me 'cause I can understand jellyfish.
Superman: [over radio] Got a visual. [dramatic music playing] And it looks like everyone's home.
Superman: Game's over, Luthor.
(Hall of Doom)
Lex Luthor: Yep, it's a phony. Just something I whipped up to get your attention. I call it a trans-thermal transmitter, but you can call it a trap.
[metal clanks]
Lex Luthor: And you were supposed to be the smart one.
[dramatic music playing]
Superman: All right, team. This shouldn't take long.
Aquaman: [grunts]
Green Lantern (John Stewart): Huh?
Wonder Woman: [grunts]
Cheetah: [growling]
Wonder Woman: Uh. Huh? Holograms? What have you--
Superman: Okay, be cool. We may have walked into--
Green Lantern (John Stewart): [grunts] Whatever that thing is, -it's made of--
Lex Luthor: Kryptonite.
Harley Quinn: [cackling]
Lex Luthor: I have what I need. Dispose of the rest.
Wonder Woman: Stand strong, League!
Green Lantern (John Stewart): [pwer ring]
[metal clanks]
Aquaman: Hey! That's not cool, man. So not cool, man.
Star Sapphire: [giggling] Where are your little friends? This won't be the same without them.
Catwoman: They're no threat to us now. Especially without their "purr-ecious" captain.
Harley Quinn: Hold up! This one's mine.
Harley Quinn and Wonder Woman: [both grunting]
Wonder Woman: [grunts] Harley Quinn? I will not spare--
Harley Quinn: Ah, zip it would ya? [grunts]
Wonder Woman: What is this?
[hinges creaking]
Harley Quinn: [exhales] These guys are out of control, and they're getting eviler by the second! You need to get Babs and your pals together and save the day, like you jerks always do.
Wonder Woman: Harleen, I am afraid that is unlikely. For you see, I have--
Harley Quinn: Ain't that something. I don't care, go.
Wonder Woman: But--
[door slams]
Harley Quinn: Uh... Ra-koom! Uh, welp, add another one to the old Phantom Zone.
(Phantom Zone)
Hawkman: So, I take it things aren't going well on the other side.
The Flash: I can't believe the Legion of Doom took out a team of heavy hitters like you.
Aqualad: I can't believe you formed your own team and didn't call it, "Super Friends."
Aquaman: [scoffs] Told you.
Green Lantern (Hal Jordan): And I can't believe you didn't ask Hal Jordan to be your Green Lantern. I mean, John, you're cool and all, but... [whines] Come on! Hal Jordan!
(Super Hero Girls' Base)
Supergirl: Unbelievable. She sold us out.
Bumblebee: Look, we're all mad at Diana, but we have to trust her decision. Tell 'em, Jess.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Honestly, right now, I don't know.
Supergirl: All my life, people have been selling me short. But, Diana?
Batgirl: I'm sure she's got the team's best interests at heart.
Supergirl: Face it, Babs. She dumped us.
Batgirl: No, she loves us more than anything. I mean, after what she went through, with me and Harley Quinn alone...
Zatanna: [grunting] What about you and Harley?
Batgirl: Oh, did I not mention Harley Quinn and Harleen Quinzel are actually one in the same? I mean, saying the names together, it's kind of obvious, so you probably already figured it out, right?
Zatanna: You and Diana knew your bestie was a super villain and you didn't tell us?
Batgirl: Technically, ex-bestie.
Zatanna: She threw me off a train, Barbara!
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Zee?
Batgirl: [gasps]
Zatanna: Babs, I... [sighs] Forget it. I quit.
Supergirl: Yup, me too.
Bumblebee: What do we do?
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): What is there to do? The League is handling the bad guys, so, I guess...
Batgirl: We go home.
Lex Luthor: Good evening. Lex Luthor here. You know me as the entrepreneurial genius who built a billion-dollar empire with nothing more than his preternatural savvy and indomitable drive. Today, I am allowing these gifts to serve a much higher purpose. But first, I'd like to introduce you to some friends of mine. The Legion of Doom.
[all gasping]
Lex Luthor: I know, I know. Pretty cool name. Am I right? Anyway, about my new higher purpose. I, Lex Luthor and my Legion of Doom, are going to take over the world. You're saying, "Come on, Lex. How are you going to take over the world?" Simple. You're gonna give it to us. Cast your eyes skyward, folks.
[machine whirring]
Lex Luthor: All right, Cythonna, show us what you can really do.
[people murmuring]
Lex Luthor: So, this is when I say, you have 24 hours to meet our demands.
[crowd gasping]
Lex Luthor: Oh, my gosh. I forgot the best part. Don't look for any clowns in tights to save you. We've gotten rid of them all. Well, the important ones, anyway.
Legion of Doom: [all laughing]
Lex Luthor: You now have 23 hours and 59 minutes.
(Roof of a building)
Harleen: Since when you become the brooding type of bat?
Batgirl: [growls] You picked the wrong time to mess with... Harleen? Where is the...
Harleen: Jester get-up? Ah, taking a break. Turns out I'm a big fan of causing chaos, but destroying the world? Eh, not so much.
Batgirl: You quit the Legion? Does this mean you're not a bad guy anymore?
Harleen: Let's just say, I'm taking a sabbatical.
Batgirl: Really? Well, you couldn't have quit at a better time. A group of A-list heroes like Wonder Woman is about to kick their... What?
Harleen: You don't know, do you?
Batgirl: Know what?
Harleen: Eesh, Babs! Current events much?
[cell phone ringing]
Bumblebee: [on phone call] Babs, emergency at the junkyard. Hurry!
Batgirl: Bumblebee, I'm here. Where are you?
Supergirl: Bumblebee, are you okay? Hmph!
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): You got Bumblebee's distress call too?
Zatanna: [sighs] Harley Quinn! What did you do with her?
Batgirl: Hold up, Zee. She's with me.
Zatanna: And that changes what exactly, Babs?
Harleen: Whoa, easy! For once, this girl's not with anybody.
Supergirl: Even less reason to trust you.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Quit arguing! We've got to find Bumblebee.
Bumblebee: I'm right here. I faked an emergency call.
Supergirl: Wait.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): What?
Zatanna: So not cool.
Harleen: Classic.
Bumblebee: Because we got to talk. Look. I know we have different ideas of what being a superhero means, and honestly, that's what makes us... made us, such a good team. But what made us a great team is that we always agreed on the one thing a superhero isn't. Selfish. We've been putting our own issues ahead of the greater good. Whether it's a big shadow only you can see, or questioning the virtue of someone you love, or questioning the virtue in yourself. Or maybe you're just afraid to tell your friends to be quiet and listen when they're making a huge mistake. Well, it's time to get over ourselves. So, be quiet and listen! The League may have made a big mistake by underestimating the Legion of Doom. But by claiming victory without even considering us, the bad guys made an even bigger mistake.
Zatanna: They underestimated the Super Hero Girls.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Time to kick some Legion butt.
Super Hero Girls: Yeah.
Harleen: Ah, a word of advice. If you're planning to storm the Hall of Doom, bring hand towels. The restroom dryers are the pits!
Batgirl: Wait. Harleen, you're not going to help?
Harleen: I said I didn't want to destroy the world. Never said nothing about saving it.
Batgirl: [sighs] Forget her, we got work to do.
Bumblebee: First, we got to get our leader back.
Supergirl: Now, just a minute.
Bumblebee: She made a mistake, Kara. One mistake. How many of yours has she let slide?
Supergirl: Let's go get her.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): But how? Isn't she in the Phantom Zone?
Bumblebee: Seriously? Have any of you been checking your phones, at all?
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): We've had a lot going on.
Supergirl: Lost my charger.
Zatanna: Only to check the fashion month feed.
Bumblebee: [sighs]
[phone beeps]
Wonder Woman: [on phone video-recording] My beloved sisters. I have wronged you.
Batgirl: I mean, it's cool she figured out how to send a video, but you think she'd have realized her thumb was covering the scree--
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Babs, listen.
Wonder Woman: [on phone video-recording] [sighs] I know now, that in trying to protect you, I only hurt you, deeply.
Wonder Woman: And because of this failure, I have humbly returned to Themyscira, mother.
Hippolyta: There is a first for everything.
Wonder Woman: You of all people know this is not my first failure, but it is my greatest.
Hippolyta: I was referring to your tears. I cannot recall ever seeing you cry, my child. [hugs Diana]
Wonder Woman: [grunts]
Hippolyta: As your mother, I did everything in my power to ensure failure never befall you.
Wonder Woman: I know, mother. Thank you.
Hippolyta: However, the one lesson I never taught was what to do when it does. We all fail, Diana. And that was my failure. One we will now rectify.
Wonder Woman: We?
Batgirl: Lucky for you, we're all really familiar with screwing up.
Zatanna: Yeah, we can give you the crash course.
Super Hero Girls: [all shouting]
Supergirl: [sighs] We'll take it from here, Poly.
Wonder Woman: Sisters. You are here. I thought you...
Zatanna: Broke up? We did. But Karen had a really inspiring speech. Ooh, do the speech thing again, Karen.
Bumblebee: It was more of an in-the-moment thing.
Supergirl: But we did watch your thumb apology.
Batgirl: And thanks to Jess' ring, we got here a lot faster than your row-boat.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Now, come on. There's no more time for hugs. Well, maybe one more.
Super Hero Girls: [all chuckling]
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): All right. Diana, let's save the world.
Wonder Woman: You still trust me to lead you?
Supergirl: More than ever, D.
[thrilling music playing]
(Hall of Doom)
Speaker of Nations: [on tv] With no other option, the United Council of Nations cedes its power to the Legion of Doom.
Legion of Doom: [all cheering]
Lex Luthor: We make a good team. Not bad for a Kryptonian. What?
Cythonna: I think we're past any delusions of this being an actual partnership, aren't we, Alexander?
Lex Luthor: [sighs] What on earth are you...
Cythonna: Stop talking. With my power near its peak, it's time you assume the role I'd always intended for you and your Legion: servitude. [touches Lex Luthor]
Lex Luthor: I await your command, Cythonna.
Cythonna: Funny thing is, you've been serving me since the moment you touched my amulet. You were just too blinded by your own greed and ambition to realize it.
Lex Luthor: So blind. What will you have me do?
Cythonna: Ugh! I shall soon be free. I want to see my new Kryptonian body. What was that?
Lex Luthor: The Kryptonian. Just like...
Cythonna: I told you, I needed the world's strongest Kryptonian.
Lex Luthor: That was. Wait. You mean--
Cythonna: Unlike that one, Kara's strength is yet to peak. Her strong will alone makes her far more suitable for divinity than this useless thing. Wait! He may not be completely useless.
(Super Hero Girls' Base)
Wonder Woman: Our only chance is to catch the Legion off guard with a surprise offensive.
Batgirl: Like going by these schematics Batman gave you, I don't see any way to sneak in.
Bumblebee: But maybe we could sneak out.
Supergirl: Hey, what gives? It's empty.
Bumblebee: Sorry. I downloaded the data to figure out a way to get to the Phantom Zone and rescue our friends.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): You mean, you think you can create our own dimensional portal?
Bumblebee: Exactly. But now I'm thinking we can create something even better.
Batgirl: Whoa! A dimensional waterslide?
Bumblebee: So, we know Cythonna's magic has unlimited access to the Phantom Zone, which makes the amulet like a hub. Theoretically speaking, it correlates with what quantum physicists call a Hamiltonian density matrix. Here, look. Bottom line, a way in is a way out.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Wait. I see what Karen's thinking. You figure out a way to travel to the Phantom Zone, grab our friends, but then come back through the Amulet.
Batgirl: Which would put us smack-dab in the middle of the Hall of Doom.
Wonder Woman: With all of the heroes in full force.
Supergirl: Talk about a sneak attack.
Zatanna: Do you really think you could do it?
Bumblebee: No, but you can.
Zatanna: Uh, come again?
Bumblebee: I can figure out how to navigate through dimensions but without the right tech, we have to travel the same way Cythonna does. With magic.
Zatanna: Well, why didn't you say so? I'm your girl.
Bumblebee: Dark magic.
Zatanna: Oh, dark... [chuckles nervously] Yeah, I mean, I guess.
Cythonna: [whispering Supergirl] Kara. Kara Zor-El. Kara Zor-El of Krypton!
Supergirl: Cythonna.
Cythonna: I apologize if I interrupted you and your friends planning what promises to be an adorable yet futile attack.
Supergirl: What do you want?
Cythonna: Simple. I want you to come get... Him.
Supergirl: Kal. No!
Cythonna: Want him? Come get him.
Supergirl: Goddess or not, I swear I will beat you!
Wonder Woman: Kara. Kara, are you okay?
Supergirl: Listen, Diana, you go rescue our friends. I need to face Cythonna.
Wonder Woman: What? Kara, I must insist--
Supergirl: I know. I know. You think I'm being my bullheaded self, and I am. But they have Clark.
Wonder Woman: Then we should--
Supergirl: Diana, I am asking you to trust me now. [flying]
[computer trilling, beeping]
Bumblebee: Okay. I think we're ready to go.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Where's Kara?
Wonder Woman: Supergirl will meet us there. Trust she knows what she's doing, sisters. I do. Now, let us away.
Batgirl: All aboard The Phantom Zone Express.
Bumblebee: Bubble us up, Jess.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): [power ring]
Bumblebee: Okay, Zee. Go time.
Zatanna: All right. Dark, creepy and often uncontrollable magic coming up.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): It's okay, Zee.
Batgirl: You got this.
Zatanna: [indistinct muttering]
Super Hero Girls: [all screaming]
Batgirl: I never thought I would say this, but, burritos for lunch was a horrible idea!
Bumblebee: Zee, each off-shoot tunnel is a gateway to a different dimension. The Phantom Zone is coming up. Now, make sure you...
Dark Zee: You're gonna blow it.
Zatanna: Stop it. Stop. I can do this. I can.
Dark Zee: You don't seem so sure of yourself. How can you be sure of anything when you're not even sure of who you are? You're nothing. A nobody. No one loves you. -You are a freak. -A phoney. A monster. No wonder your mom left.
Zatanna: [shouting] Stop it!
Super Hero Girls: [all screaming]
(Titans Tower - Undetermined Earth)
Zatanna: Did I do it?
Bumblebee: I'm not sure, but I think so.
Wonder Woman: Sisters, at the ready.
Batgirl: Weird. Awfully bright for a Phantom Zone.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Are we sure we're in the right dimension?
Zatanna: No, I'm not sure. The dark magic...
Bumblebee: It's okay, Zee. I mean, we don't know that this isn't the Phantom Zone.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Yeah, of course it is. Now, let's find the other heroes.
Batgirl: Uh, I see heroes, but I don't think they're the ones we're looking for.
Cyborg: BB, you seeing what I'm seeing?
Beast Boy: It's the Super Hero Girls, yo.
Starfire: Oh, yes, the team I wish to be the member of, but refuse to say as such so as to spare the feelings of my current team.
Raven: We actually have a door, but whatever.
(Titans Tower)
Robin: Oh, come on. This literally happened yesterday.
Cyborg: You mean, we've already been crossed over and no one told us? Well, the hits just keep on coming.
Control Freak: Just watch. You'll play a very important role in this story before its end. Trust me! [chuckles]
Raven: Hmm.
(Titans Tower - Undetermined Earth)
Wonder Woman: We apologize, but do we know you?
Cyborg: [laughs] Good one, Wonder lady. I didn't realize you were the funny one. It's like you're the 'me' of your team.
Robin: Come on, guys. It's us. The Teen Titans.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): You mean, the Tween Titans. Didn't we babysit you once?
Robin: "Babysit"? [raspberry] Do I in any way look like a baby to you?
Beast Boy: Oh, I gets it. They are good enough for our show, but the moments we shows up in their thing, it's all like, "What's going on? Who's are you?"
Cyborg: Hey, that's right! Continuity snobs.
Beast Boy: [raspberry]
Bumblebee: Guys, I think I know what's going on. We've ended up in some kind of parallel universe. One that's similar to ours.
Batgirl: But with way larger heads.
Robin: And hands. Our hands are very large too.
Zatanna: [sighs] So I guess I did mess up.
Wonder Woman: As fellow heroes, you can appreciate the gravity of our mission, for we face a crisis of catastrophic proportions.
Teen Titans: [giggling]
Robin: Forgive us if we seem underwhelmed, but we eat crises of catastrophic proportions for breakfast.
Beast Boy: They're called jalapeno waffle bombs, yo. Ha-ha!
Robin: Okay, Super Hero Girls, we'll help you.
Bumblebee: Really, we just need a couple of spare computer parts.
Robin: But I'm only saying this once. My world. My rules. I call the shots. I say jump, you say, "I already did because I'm so in tune with your amazing leadership skills, I knew what you were going to ask me before you could even ask it." [inhales deeply] Are we clear?
Batgirl: Oh, wow. Is it possible that you're even more annoying than the Robin in my universe?
Bumblebee: I'm pretty sure I can fix it.
Cyborg: True. True. But let me hit you with this. Why fix when you can upgrade?
Bumblebee: Because I only need to...
Cyborg: Picture it, other BB. This baby, with its own ultra TK mega library of video games. A taquito warming drawer. Racing stripes.
Bumblebee: Why would a computer need racing stripes?
Cyborg: A computer would not need racing stripes. But a remote control funnel cake deep-fryer would.
Batgirl: No way. Any animal?
Beast Boy: Mmm-hmm. [meows]
Batgirl: How about a fairy armadillo? Oh, an aye-aye.
Beast Boy: Aye. Aye.
Batgirl: Ooh! A Chengdu yak. Ooh! Does this mean you have four stomachs?
Beast Boy: I don't knows. Let's find out. [gasps] [stomach rumbling] [groans] That's not sitting right. Ah, better. Hold up! [stomach rumbling] [sighs in relief] Uh-oh. Here comes number three. [shrieking] How is it getting worse each time!? [pants] [sighs in relief] [stomach rumbling] Last one. [groans] [sighs in relief] Four stomachs in the house. [stomach rumbling] I got to go to the little yak's room.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): [shrieks] Oh, hey, Starfire. You guys sure do things differently here.
Starfire: I, too, was a comer to the newness of this world on a day that was not long from this one.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Bet that took getting used to.
Starfire: Permit me to give the piece of advice?
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Sure, let's hear it.
Starfire: [whispering] Despite the deliciousness of their appearance, cats may not be ingested.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Oh. Uh, thank you, Starfire.
Robin: Good to know. Yeah, my team would pretty much follow me to the end of the Earth. I mean, it's not like being a better team leader is a competition. It's just, well, if it were, I'd probably win. And, if this mug is to be believed, I already have.
Wonder Woman: You bought that yourself, didn't you?
Robin: [chuckles nervously] What? No! Sheesh! Sounds like someone's got a little mug envy.
Wonder Woman: Well, I have no mug, nor any such boastful beverage conveyance. I do have a lasso that can compel anyone to tell the truth. Would you like to try it?
[mug breaking]
Robin: [high-pitched voice] I bought the mug.
(Outside of Titans Tower)
Raven: You find them instantly annoying too, huh?
Zatanna: [laughs softly] They're not so bad. We only have one bonehead on our team. Me. It's my fault we're stuck here.
Raven: Messed up a spell? It happens.
Zatanna: It's more than a spell. There's a part of me. A dark part. I've always been frightened of it. But, lately... Never mind, it's complicated.
Raven: Yeah. I wish there was some way I could relate. Oh, wait. I just remembered. I am Raven, daughter of Trigon, demonic overlord of all he surveys.
Raven and Zatanna: [both laugh]
(Titans Tower)
Cyborg: Not bad, other BB. We did it.
Bumblebee: You were right. The racing stripes are a nice touch.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): You two got the computer working?
Bumblebee: I just need to power the external V-drive. So we'll need a AAA battery, like the one in a TV remote.
Cyborg: [exclaiming nervously] Our universe doesn't have remotes.
Beast Boy: Yeah, yeah. We's control TVs with our minds.
[button clicks]
Robin: Fear not. We will find a battery-- Oh, yeah. Battleship Bake Off!
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): So, did you have a battery, or no?
Cyborg: Huh? Battery? Oh, yeah. Help yourself. I think I saw one in the garage. Or did I see one in the foyer?
Beast Boy: Ooh la-la. Fo-yay. [laughs] He means fo-yur, yo.
Cyborg: Fo-yur? Where's your flair? Your passion? Get some culture, fool.
Beast Boy: It's pronounced fo-yur, bro.
Cyborg: Nah-uh. Fo-yay, all the way.
Starfire: Of course, this building comes equipped with neither the fo-yur, nor the fo-yay.
Cyborg: That's really not the point now, is it, Starfire?
Robin: We do so have a foyer. Wait. That's really more of a portico.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Do you have a battery or not!!
Robin: Yes. You remind me of me. Let's go find one.
[objects clattering]
Batgirl: Oh, oh, no, he did not. Right, let's go.
(Hall of Doom - Earth 96)
Catwoman: So, Luthor, what's the first order of business as rulers of the world? [giggles] Luthor?
Star Sapphire: Uh, hello? What's with him?
Supergirl: Where is Superman? Where is Superman?
Giganta: Get her!
Cythonna: That's enough, children. Come, let's talk.
[door opening]
Cythonna: You've always believed in me, yes?
Supergirl: Let's just say I heard stories.
Cythonna: Then you know my essence will soon be free, and I shall require a strong, new Kryptonian body.
Supergirl: Ain't happening. Kal-El's coming with me.
Cythonna: Oh. And you wonder why others presume Kal-El is superior to you, when you yourself make the same presumption.
Supergirl: Wait, you mean, you... you want me? Well, I mean, I can't blame you. I am pretty awesome.
Cythonna: Join me, and together, we will show the universe the true meaning of power.
Supergirl: Yeah, that's going to be a hard pass.
Cythonna: Oh, well, in that case...
[ominous music playing]
Supergirl: Kal!
Cythonna: Submit... or he dies.
Supergirl: [gasps]
Cythonna: I'll give you some time to think about it.
Supergirl: [screaming]
Supergirl: No! You can't do this.
[sinister music playing]
(Outside of Titans Tower - Undetermined Earth)
Raven: It's not about not having dark thoughts, Zee. It's about embracing those thoughts as part of who you are.
Zatanna: But what if I do embrace them, and I lose control? What if I hurt someone?
Raven: Hmm. You might be surprised what darkness can do, if you give it a chance. Out of all the infinite universes, your magic just happened to bring you here, where you got a brief and narratively convenient pep-talk from someone who deals with the exact same thing.
(Titans Tower)
[creature roaring]
Batgirl: Yeesh! Who would've thunk getting a little battery would become such an epic hassle?
Beast Boy: Dude, we face way epic-er hassles for much smaller stakes all the time.
Robin: It's kind of our thing.
Bumblebee: [electronic whirring] Back online and ready to go. I just hope Zee's up to it.
Zatanna: Next up, Phantom Zone.
Robin: You know, you might want to bring the big guns with you on this mission.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Are they fighting over a remote?
Cyborg: Come on, BB. I've seen this episode.
Robin: [grunts]
Wonder Woman: Er, we appreciate the offer, Boy Wonder. But this is our fight.
Robin: No, I get it. It's your big adventure. Bringing us along would only upstage you.
Zatanna: I guess this is goodbye. Thank you, Raven.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): [power ring]
Bumblebee: Bye Cy.
Batgirl: Let me know how Battleship Bake Off ends.
Beast Boy: Peace, love and animals, yo!
Cyborg: Keep them racing stripes shiny.
Starfire: Take me with you!
Robin: So long! By the way, our adventure was in theaters.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): You okay, Zee?
Zatanna: Oh, I'm better than okay. Whee!
(Hall of Doom - Earth 96)
Superman: [grunts] Kara, I told you to--
Supergirl: I know what you told me, Kal. Just because you think you're so much better than me doesn't mean you can tell me--
Superman: I'm not better than you, Kara. Not by a long shot.
Supergirl: Then why are you always such a jerk to me?
Superman: I never told you this, but when you first got here, I was so excited. I thought, finally someone else who will understand just how lonely it is to be...
Supergirl: Super. You know, saying it out loud just now... Mm, it is kind of pretentious to call ourselves that.
Superman: You're not lonely, Kara. Look at your friends. They're family. Then look at mine. Ugh, Batman? Really? -Dude's got serious issues.
Supergirl: Wait. Are you jealous of my friends?
Superman: [sighs] I'm jealous of your strength.
Supergirl: Okay, I'm only going to say this because you said something kind of nice, but, Kal, you are way stronger than me.
Superman: Well, I am Superman. [groaning] But that's not what I mean. I was born with super strength. It was handed to me. But, you, your strength, your true strength of character, of conviction, you earned that on your own. Way before you got anywhere near a yellow sun.
(Phantom Zone)
Aquaman: Now we know there's gotta be an answer. You just gotta use those noggins right there, man. You gotta use them to grab that answer. Seriously, man, nothing?
Aqualad: Is it a bread box?
Aquaman: Ding-ding-ding, you got it. Man, you're good, kid. You are good. Whoo!
[instrumental music playing]
Bumblebee: Anyone need a lift?
(Hall of Doom)
Cythonna: Any second, your master shall be set free.
[crystal shattering]
[electronic whirring]
Wonder Woman: Heroes! Take them down!
Hawkman: If I had my mace-- [grunts]
Toyman: [grunts]
Hawkman: Huh?
Bumblebee: I shrunk it down to bring to you, but totally forgot about it until you said something. Sorry.
Hawkman: Oh, I missed you too.
Batgirl: Hey, Batman! So, I know you know about the Joker, but did you hear about me and Bane?
Batman: [muttering]
Batgirl: Oh, you did? Yeah? I beat him pretty good. First try, too. Heh. How'd you do against him your first time?
Batman: [grunts]
Cheetah and Catwoman: [snarling]
Wonder Woman: I wish I had a clever remark about you both being feline villains.
Cheetah: [grunts]
Catwoman: [snarling]
Wonder Woman: Looks as if you two are ready for a cat nap. Stick with what you know, Diana.
Solomon Grundy: [grunting] Oh, that the hardest Lantern can hit?
Green Lantern (John Stewart): No. That is the hardest Lantern can hit.
Green Lantern (Hal Jordan): Oh, now I get why they went with you.
Green Lanterns (John Stewart and Hal Jordan): [both grunting]
Solomon Grundy: [groaning] Grundy angry. How many Lanterns are there?
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Three. It's a big number, I know. Keep trying, you'll get there.
Solomon Grundy: [straining] These no hold Grundy.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): Yeah, that's kind of the point. Oh, and all without even throwing a punch.
Zatanna: Ah, look at that! Got you again. Totally feeling deja vu right now.
Giganta: [laughs] So am I.
[ominous music playing]
Harley Quinn: Back off, slick!
Lex Luthor: Huh? [grunts]
Harley Quinn: Throwing cheap shots at this one's my job.
Batgirl: Oh, my gosh, you changed your mind.
Harley Quinn: Come on! You knew I was always gonna come around. I just wanted to make one of those perfectly-timed bad-guy-turns-good dramatic entrances. How'd I do?
Zatanna: Oh, pretty good. Thanks.
Superman: Can you see what's happening?
Supergirl: Kryptonite's messing with my X-ray vision. Oh, no.
Superman: What is it?
Supergirl: She's free.
Superman: Quick, Kara. [grunting] You gotta run. She'll come for you.
Supergirl: [sighs] I'm not leaving you like this, Kal.
Superman: Why do you have to be so bullheaded?
Supergirl: Yeah, yeah, I am bullheaded, aren't I? Cythonna, I give up! Do you hear me?
Superman: Kara... [grunts] What are you doing?
Supergirl: Sorry, Kal. I have no choice. It's your lucky day. I give up to you, Cythonna. I'm all yours.
Superman: [grunts] Kara! No!
Cythonna: [laughs wickedly]
Lex Luthor: Okay. What exactly happened here?
Star Sapphire: [groans] Felt like evil overdrive. Totally grody. Ugh!
Green Lantern (Hal Jordan): That's the last of 'em, Wonder Woman.
Wonder Woman: Good work, Hal. Any sign of Supergirl yet?
Batgirl: Nope. Not of her or Superman.
Wonder Woman: Come on, Kara.
Super Hero Girls: [all coughing]
Wonder Woman: Kara?
[dramatic music playing]
Cythonna: Kara is gone. I am Cythonna.
Aqualad: What do we do, Wonder Woman?
Wonder Woman: Hal, you and the others get the Legion to safety. We got Cythonna.
Hawkman: No way. She's too powerful.
Green Lantern (Hal Jordan): Carter, they can handle it. This is a job for the Super Hero Girls.
Wonder Woman: Mmm-hmm.
Batgirl: Okay, D, what's the plan?
Wonder Woman: We fight.
Cythonna: I was so hoping you would say that.
Wonder Woman: [grunts]
Zatanna: Diana! [grunts]
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) and Batgirl: [effort grunts] [bones crack] [shouts]
Bumblebee: Kara, stop! Kara! [echoing] Kara!
[rock music playing]
Cythonna: A rather strange representation of your inner mind, Kara Zor-El.
Kara: It's my happy place. Means I still run things in here. I knew I wouldn't stand a chance against you in the real world, but I figure now, at least I have some home-field advantage.
Cythonna: [laughs mischievously] Wait, are you challenging me?
Kara: Yeah, something like that.
[heavy metal music playing]
Cythonna: [grunts]
Supergirl: [grunts]
Bumblebee: Kara?
Supergirl: [grunts]
Bumblebee: Guys, she's fighting it.
Superman: [sighs] What is that?
Batman: [muttering]
Superman: What do you mean, in case I ever got out of line? [sighs] Serious issues.
Kara: [grunts]
Cythonna: [panting] You caught me off guard. Seems even I underestimated you.
Kara: Yeah, a lot of that going around.
[dramatic music playing]
Kara and Cythonna: [both grunting]
Kara: [yells]
Cythonna: But you are no match for me.
Supergirl: [groans] [panting]
Wonder Woman: Kara, are you still in there?
Cythonna: Oh, she's still here, suffering.
Wonder Woman: [grunts]
Cythonna: [laughs mischievously]
Wonder Woman: [grunts]
Zatanna: [yelling]
Batman: [sighs softly]
Wonder Woman: Batman, wait!
Batman: [mutters]
Wonder Woman: I said, stand down!
Superman: Uh, I, I'd do what she says, Bruce.
Wonder Woman: Sisters, Kara is in there. She needs us. Kara, it is Diana. Fight this.
Cythonna: [grunts]
Bumblebee: Come on, Kara.
Batgirl: Kick her butt.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz): We believe in you.
Zatanna: Show her who's boss in there.
Supergirl: [groans]
Kara: [groaning]
Diana: We are with you, sister, always.
Karen: You got this, Kara.
Babs: You got this, Kara.
Jess: You can do this.
Babs: and Zee: Do this.
Kara: [sighs]
Supergirl: [groans]
Superman: [grunts] Kara!
Kara: [groaning]
Clark: I believe in you. I always have. Now kick her butt.
Cythonna: I can't wait to turn your despicable world to ash. This place only makes me all of the more homesick for Krypton!
Kara: You know what I miss most about Krypton? The crystals.
[crystal craking]
Supergirl: [grunts]
Cythonna: [gasps] No, not again. Not again!
Supergirl: Zee, anywhere but here.
[rock music playing]
Cythonna: [yelling] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Super Hero Girls: [all sighing]
Wonder Woman: You did it, Kara.
Supergirl: Thanks for trusting me, D. Hmm?
Harley Quinn: [sighs] [tee-hee] [sighs]
Super Hero Girls: [all sighing]
(Sweet Justice)
Kara: It's not like we're besties or anything now, but he is clearing out a room for me in the Fortress of Solitude.
Babs: You mean the Buddy Bunker?
[cell phone vibrating]
Babs: Batman. He can wait. You know, ever since Robin got all swept up in his Nightwing phase, he's been bugging me.
Karen: Wow. I remember when you would have killed to be his sidekick.
Babs: Well, I've got my own sidekick now.
Harleen: Oh, no, you're the sidekick. This girl's a headliner through and through. [bubblegum pops]
Babs: Besides, if Batman really needed help, he's got his League buddies, right, D?
Diana: Yes, while I agreed to be a reserve member, my true place is here.
[glasses clinking]
Harleen: [bubblegum pops]
(Titans Tower)
Cyborg: Wait a minute. They're talking about feelings and what they learned? That only happens at the end of the... [gasps] This is the denouement. The de-new-ment!
Beast Boy: It's de-now-ement, Lord Fauntleroy.
Cyborg: Not today, BB. This show's over. And we weren't even in it.
Starfire: I am not understanding. You said we had the role that is big to play.
Control Freak: Keep watching.
(Sweet Justice - Earth 96)
Jess: You know, Zee, I've been meaning to ask. Where did you send that Cythonna crystal anyway?
Zee: You know, since I've come to terms with this whole dark magic part of me, I figured let it decide.
(Titans Tower)
Teen Titans: [all gasping]
[ominous music playing]
Raven: Now I know what you're up to, Control Freak. Or should I say, Cythonna!
Control Freak: [grunting]
Cythonna: [breathing pure air] [coughs] Man, it's like a farago of B.O., barbecue corn chips and rancid strawberry milk.
Control Freak: Cayenne and onion chips, thank you.
Raven: I knew something was up when you complimented Robin. Who does that? But now you've shown your hand.
Robin: And for the record, I was always on to you, Cythonna. Even before Raven was, I'm sure. But, I too was waiting for you to show your hand.
Cythonna: Really? What is my hand, Boy Wonder?
Robin: Well, [stuttering] I could tell you, but I don't want to step on Raven's toes.
Raven: She wants her crystal back.
Cythonna: That's right. It is mine. Now, give it to me!
Raven: Starfire, catch.
Starfire: Give what to you?
Cythonna: Ah! The crystal!
Starfire: Oh, you mean the crystal that was in the hand, but is now no longer in the hand because of the keeping of away.
Cythonna: Give it! Give it. Horrible, horrible children. Give it to me. I demand it. My crystal. Give it to me, you horrible, horrible children. I will destroy you! I will destroy this whole universe!
Cyborg: We told you, C-train, we don't do epic threats. Raven, send this fool somewhere they give a snot.
Cythonna: ...at once! I demand you. Please! I need it! [yells] No!
Beast Boy: Now what's we gonna dos? I means, the TV's crooked, yo.
Cyborg: Nuh-uh. I can't watch a crooked TV. You know the strain that's gonna put on my neck servos?
Robin: So, Raven, where did you send our friend and her little crystal?
Raven: I don't know. Somewhere.
(Hall of Justice - Earth 1956)
Narrator: Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice...
[glass break]
Wonder Woman (Super Firends): Great Scott, what is this? According to the Justice League computer, it's from this crossover dimension.
Robin (Super Friends): Holy crossovers! Does this mean the Super Friends have to travel to this strange dimension and return it?
Teen Titans: [clamoring]
Wonder Woman (Super Firends): That is going to be a hard pass from the Super Friends.
[theme music playing]