Rage CatGalleryTranscript
- [theme song playing]
- Dewey: All right, team, gather round. [sighs] Okay. So today, we're gonna try to beat last year's goal and get... ...three pets adopted.
- Jessica: Three? Why stop at three? I say we get all these pets adopted. Who is with me? Forever homes! Forever homes! Forever homes! That's the spirit. Now... Let's house some pets.
- [dogs barking]
- [panting]
- [inaudible cheer]
- [squawking]
- [hissing]
- [squeaking]
- Dewey: Wow, Jess. You've got a real gift for pairing animals with families.
- Jessica: Well, I believe there's a perfect owner for every pet. It's up to us to find them. [humming]
- [electricity crackling]
- Jessica: [gasps]
- [lights switching on]
- [electricity crackling]
- Jessica: Hello?
- [thudding in distance]
- Jessica: Dexter. How did we miss you, sweetie?
- Ida: Back away from that cage if you know what's good for you.
- Jessica: Wha... What?
- Ida: I used to think Dexter was sweet, too. [chuckles] [inhales deeply] Until the day I tried to feed him... ...dry cat food.
- Dewey: I called him Dexy. Big mistake.
- Katie: Remember what happened when Monica touched his tail?
- Monica: Here kitty, kitty. Meow... Meow...
- Jessica: [chuckles] Come on, you guys. He's just a cat.
- Dewey: No! He's a bad cat. And besides, it's almost his... "time."
- Jessica: [gasps]
- Dewey: Just leave it alone.
- Dex-Starr: [purring]
- Jessica: Leave it alone? I don't know the meaning of the words.
- [bolt clanking]
- [all whimpering]
- [purring]
- Monica: No! That purr! Everyone, run!
- Jessica: They don't understand you, Dexter, but I know you're a good cat. Hi, there! Interested in a sweet, adorable, cuddly little kitty?
- Mother: Oh, I don't know. We're not much of an animal family.
- Jessica: Well, having a cat like Dexter can teach your son all sorts of valuable life skills.
- Dex-Starr: [purring]
- Jessica: Aw, I think he likes you. [gasps] [grunts]
- Dex-Starr: [snarling]
- Jessica: Wait! Please! Whoa!
- Dex-Starr: [snarling]
- Jessica: Whoa! Ow.
- Dex-Starr: [snarling]
- Jessica: [yells]
- Dex-Starr: [meowing]
- Dewey: [panting] Jess, I told you to leave it alone! No one on Earth is going to adopt this cat.
- Dex-Star: [snarling]
- Jessica: What you need is an owner with a strong will, a leader you can follow...
- Dex-Starr: [meows softly]
- Diana: Certainly I will help this creature in need.
- Jessica: I knew you'd be perfect for each other. He's strong and independent, just like you.
- Diana: Fear not, Jessica. Oftentimes I cared for others' animal companions on Themyscira. I even became known as the Minotaur whisperer. [chuckles] See? He is pleased. [sniffles] [chuckles nervously] Oh! Ahhh! [sneezes] What is this witchcraft?
- Jessica: Oh no!
- Diana: [sneezing]
- Jessica: You're allergic to cats!
- Diana: [sneezing uncontrollably]
- Jessica: Dexter, no! Get off of her! Get off!
- Diana: [muffled] Remove this demon at once!
- Jessica: Maybe what you need is a more traditional environment, a family structure to make you feel safe.
- Dex-Starr: [purring softly]
- Babs: [squealing] Jess, I've always wanted a cat! I'll call him Batkitten.
- Jessica: Why not Batcat?
- Babs: No, that's dumb. Batkitten!
- Jessica: Oh, I think we've found you the perfect owner, Dexter. Er... Batkitten. [chuckles]
- Dex-Starr: [purring]
- Babs: [nervously] Uh, careful, Batkitten, that's one of mommy's favorite Batman figurines!
- Dex-Starr: [purring maliciously]
- Babs: [gasps, grunts] Phew. That was a close one, huh? [gasping, grunting]
- Jessica: Dexter, stop that!
- Babs: Batkitten, don't even think about it. It took me thirty-two hours of painstaking--[yells] Batkitten, no! [thuds]
- Jessica: Maybe what you need is a real animal lover.
- Garth: He's cool with fish, right?
- Dex-Starr: [burps]
- Jessica: Okay, so I have no reason to think this next one will be the perfect owner, but you never know!
- Hal: Oh, sure I'll take him, I love these things. I'll teach him to catch a tennis ball, let him do his thing on a few hydrants.
- Dex-Starr: [purring]
- Hal: We're gonna bro-down hard. Right, D-Money? Who's my D-Money?
- [door slams]
- Jessica: [sighs in relief]
- Dexter: [snarling]
- Hal: [screaming painfully]
- [alarm blaring]
- Jessica: [groans in dismay] Don't worry, Dexter. We just need to cast a wider net, show the world how amazing you are!
- Dex-Starr: [growling]
- Smile, Dexter. Once the world sees how amazingly cute you are, you'll get adopted in no time.
- Olivia: Aw, look at his little hat.
- Claire: He's so cute. Can we get him, Mommy, can we?
- Jessica: [grunts, gasps] nervously] Let's just...
- [all cooing]
- Jessica: ...give him a little space.
- Amanda: So cute.
- Jessica: Maybe not quite so close,
- [indistinct chatter]
- Jessica: [chuckles nervously]
- Greg: Oh, so cute.
- Claire: Listen to him purr, Mommy! I saw him first.
- Leah: I want him!
- Dex-Starr: [purring]
- [rumbling]
- [all exclaiming]
- Claire: Look, Mommy. He's levitating.
- Jessica: Wait. Is that......the power ring?
- [all screaming]
- Jessica: [grunts] [groans]
- Dex-Starr: So......you want to play dress-up with the sweet little kitty-cat, eh? How do you like......this outfit?
- Jessica: [whimpering] D... Dexter?
- Dex-Starr: Dexter? [chuckles maliciously] I'm afraid not. From this day forward I shall be known as Dex-Starr of the Red Lantern Corps.
- Jessica: Red Lantern Corps?
- Dex-Starr: Indeed. Our members are chosen from the angriest beings in the universe, and our rings are fueled by the red light of rage!
- Jessica: Oh, it was the bowtie, wasn't it? I knew that was too much.
- Dex-Starr: [hissing angrily]
- Jessica: Okay, Jimmy, we just have to get that ring off of his...
- [running footsteps receding]
- Jessica: [sighs] ...tail. [gasps] [whimpering] Nice kitty...
- Dex-Starr: [growling] [angrily] I am not a nice kitty! [retching]
- Jessica: Dexter, please! Let's talk about this.
- Dex-Starr: Wearing collars. Eating kibble. Forcing me into a forever home. My forever home is suffering! My forever home is pain! And soon, yours will be, too! [retching]
- Jessica: [grunts] Everyone, out the back! Go!
- Dex-Starr: Cat and mouse, Jessica Cruz? Very well. Come back, scaredy-cat. [laughs maliciously] Meow?
- Jessica: [gasps] [gasps]
- Dex-Starr: [purring] You couldn't just leave it alone, could you? No, you don't know the meaning of those words! [chuckles] Well, then... It appears someone else has a new outfit, too.
- Jessica: It's over, Dex-Starr. Hand me the ring.
- Dex-Starr: Never! You shall pay for your crimes against felinity. You could never escape me. I am the ultimate hunter! [coos] [meows] [meows] [frustrated snarling] Enough! Let's see how you like being toyed with. [growling]
- Jessica: [coughing] [thuds] Argh!
- Dex-Starr: Oh, Green Lantern. [meows, laughs] Is this what you're looking for? You'll have to be faster than that. Over here...
- Jessica: [grunts]
- Dex-Starr: Let's stop pussyfooting around.
- Jessica: [grunts, groans] [coughing] [coughing]
- Dex-Starr: And now, Green Lantern, it seems it is almost your "time." Then, this whole stinking planet will be my forever home! [growling]
- Jessica: [gasps] Give me the ring!
- Dex-Starr: My tail! [snarling]
- [ring surging]
- Dex-Starr: [purring softly]
- Jessica: Aw, Dex. What are we gonna do with you? [softly] Okay, Dexter. It's almost time...
- [bell dings in distance]
- Jessica: [excitedly] ...for dinner! Well, what do you think? Am I the perfect owner or what? [gasps] Oh, you!
- [theme music plays]