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DC Super Hero Girls[]

Sweet Justice part 1[]

[theme song]
 ♪ When super me Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side ♪
♪ Look out, world
We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together
Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow! ♪
Lex Luthor: Oh. Hello, Metropolis. I'm Lex Luthor. When I first started Lexcorp, I didn't set out to create
an international corporate empire that would make me the youngest mega-billionaire in the world. I did it for you. Our researchers continue to make breakthroughs in everything from virtual reality to the genetically-enhanced turkey on your Thanksgiving table. [bell ding] But even though we're the most powerful corporation in the world, you can purchase our products knowing that deep down, Lexcorp is a family company. Isn't that right, Lena?
[woman singer]
♪ Lexcorp cares ♪
News anchor: As has become all too clear in recent months, despite having the likes of Superman looking out for her citizens, Metropolis is still in need of further super help. This was the scene this morning in Midtown, where a small glimmer of hope may finally have arrived. And now we're left with the question everyone is asking, "Who is this Wonder Woman?"
Commissioner Gordon: Barbara, did you hear me? You know your homeroom number, right?
Babs: [groan] Yes.
Commissioner Gordon: Aw, come on, pumpkin-pants. I know it's tough starting a new school, but I'm sure you'll fit right in.
Babs: Dad! You're making me move in the middle of high school. I loved Gotham City. And I was right on the verge of finally, finally, finally finding my te—Uh, my group.
Commissioner Gordon: Your, uh... Your group?
Babs: Yeah, you know. My pack. My crew. My tribe. My—
Commissioner Gordon: Oh. Your, uh, clique. Your clique.
Babs: My team.
Commissioner Gordon: Here it is. Metropolis High. Beautiful. Don't worry, pumpkin-pants, you'll find a new clique.
Kara: I'm just saying I don't know why I'm being punished for something I didn't do.
Eliza Danvers: And we hear you saying you "didn't do it," Kara. Let's reframe our thinking.
Kara: [groan]
Eliza Danvers: Maybe a new school is less a punishment and more an adventure.
Jeremiah Danvers: One that could help you be the best Kara you can be. And as your legal guardians, it's our responsibility to help you on your journey to impulse control.
Kara: [grunt]
Eliza Danvers: Have a great first day.
Jeremiah Danvers: Or don't. Whatever's right for you.
Karen: Ah! Ow! [whimper]
Babs: Hi, my name's Babs.
Karen: [whispering] Karen.
Babs: I'm new here. It's my first day. Have you been going here long? What's it like? Huh?
Karen: [whispering] Thank you. Bye.
Babs: Bye?
Zatanna: Bye, Daddy.
[car honks]
Mr Zatara: Zee, you forgot your backpack.
Zatanna: Thanks, Daddy! Toodles.
Babs: Okay, that was weird.
[indistinct chatter]
Boy: Ooh, sorry about that.
Jessica: I told you, Hal. I don't believe in the Lantern Corps. Their methods are too extreme.
Hal: Look, I don't make the rules.
Babs: [whimper]
Jessica: Take it, Hal.
Babs: [gasp]
Jessica: I don't want it.
Hal: No, Jess. They chose you.
[bell ringing]
Babs: [whimper] [panting]
VR specs boy: Hey, guys, check out my new VR specs.
Beanie girl: The podcast called her the Wonder Woman.
Glasses boy: She took down some giant monster.
Mohawk girl: Geez! How many superheroes does Metropolis have?
[bell ringing]
Babs: I don't know. But I'm gonna find out.
[splat]
Babs: Okay, Metropolis High, let's do this. [slurping]
Kara: [laughing] [growling]
Karen: [grunt] Whoa!
Kara: [grunt]
Karen: Aaah!
Jessica: Leave her alone, you big bully.
Zee: My hair. My... hair! [grunt]
Kara: [gasp] [grunt]
[all grunting]
Babs: Food fight! [laughing]
[all grunting]
Babs: [laughing]
[all yelling indistinctly]
Mr Chapin: Enough! I said enough!
[all gasp]
[all grunt]
Mr Chapin: You five, let's go.
Karen, Jessica, Babs, Kara, and Zatanna: Huh?
Mr Chapin: Detention on the first day of school. [clicks tongue]
Zatanna: I hope you all have good attorneys.
Kara: What are you gonna do? Sue me 'cause I have better aim than you?
Zatanna: Ooh, I knew you threw those potatoes!
Jessica: Now, let's not start fighting again.
Kara: You threw more nuggets than anyone!
Karen: Um, for the record, if I offended anyone, I'm truly very sorry. [squeal]
Truant officer: We found her just walking around the streets.
Mr Chapin: Cutting class on the first day of school. [clicks tongue] Get in here with the other delinquents while I find out which homeroom you're in.
Babs: [gasp] -Oh!
Karen: That's... She's...
Zatanna: Gorgeous!
Jessica: Is that...
Babs: [gasp] [whispering] The Wonder Woman.
Kara: [scoff] That's no wonder woman. It's just some dumb cosplay girl.
Diana: I am no girl. I am Diana, Princess of the Amazons. I alone survived the 21 tests of the tournament of Athena and Aphrodite. By right, I am not a girl, but a woman.
Kara: Trust me, Princess, you do not want to start with me.
Diana: Is this a challenge?
Kara: [scoff] For you, maybe.
Diana: Very well. I shall allow you first strike.
Kara: All right. But you asked for it. [grunt]
Diana: Again!
Kara: [grunt]
Diana: [grunt]
Kara: Why don't you just stand still?
[all gasping]
Kara: Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry. Are you all—
Diana: [shrieking]
[both grunting]
[both yelling]
[both grunt and groan]
Jessica: Both of you, stop! Fighting is never the answer.
Karen: Yes! [grunt] The answer is... [squeaky voice] Running away.
[grunting]
Girl: Oh, my gosh. And then Aiden said...
[grunting]
Zatanna: Teacher's coming.
[doorknob rattling]
Karen: [grunt]
[door creaks]
Zatanna: tup siht os ssalc egnarts niaga ["put this so class strange again" with each word spoken in reverse]
Mr Chapin: Everything all right in here?
Zatanna: Mmm-hmm. Yes, Mr. Chapin.
Mr Chapin: All right. Good. I, um, forgot my keys.
Babs: A-ha! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew you were super. I knew it the minute I saw you dent that car door because no ordinary person could possibly slam a door that hard. And then when you spilled all those weird metal thingies on the bus, I knew there was something weird going on with you, too. And then you, all of a sudden, had your backpack, and I was like, "That's weird." And then I overheard you talking to that cute boy about some Corps thing and some ring and I knew something was up, so I decided to start a food fight so that we all get detention together, which totally worked. And then you, I wasn't planning on you showing up at all. So that's just like a huge bonus anyway. My plan was that you'd all keep fighting once we got to detention and all get so worked up that you'd be forced to reveal that you're super and guess what, so am I! The one and only Batgirl.
Kara: Great! Another cosplayer.
Diana: Huzzah! At last. A sister-in-arms. Never had I dreamed I would encounter the warrior spirit of an Amazon upon entering the world of Man. For you see, it is my quest, my crusade, my destiny, to bring the Amazon way of peace and prosperity to man's world, and to rid it of all evil. The gods bestowed this honor upon me and I feared I alone should have to carry my burden. But now... Now I have a sister by my side.
Babs: [gasp] No, no, no, no. Five sisters.
Kara: Uh, nope. I use my powers, I get in trouble. Every single time.
Jessica: Not me. I'm not fighting anyone.
Zatanna: [chuckle] Sorry. I'm an artiste. Not a police officer.
Karen: Um, I'm not really that good at it.
Diana: Cowards! I speak of destiny. The same mantle of greatness the gods bestowed upon me, they have also bestowed upon you.
Babs: Plus, come on, you guys! How can you not be excited about heroes and villains and fighting crime and hidden lairs and secret identities and stuff?
Zatanna: Um, the trick with secret identities, my dear, is that, in order to remain secret, one must convincingly pass as a normal human being.
Babs: Okay, tell you what. You guys give being a team a teensie try, she'll teach us how to be heroes and you can give her a makeover. Deal?
Zatanna: [sigh] Who am I to say no to a makeover?
Karen: Um... Okay.
Jessica: Good for you, Karen. I'll try, too, but only to support and encourage Karen's brave decision.
Kara: Fine. Whatever.
Babs: Yes! It's settled. Super awesome super hero-ness, here we come!
[credits]

Sweet Justice part 2[]

[theme song playing]
Diana: By the white beard of Zeus, what is this place?
Babs: Normal teenager lesson number one, never say stuff like... "By the white beard of Zeus." Lesson number two, you gotta look the part. Bright colors, big logos, be bold!
Kara: Leather, lots and lots of leather.
Babs: Lesson 3, your phone is your life. Pics, emails, texts, shopping, social media, every single bit of knowledge mankind has ever known.
Jessica: [grunt] Uh, no leather. These were all made with organic cotton from Turkey.
Karen: Dress to not draw attention to yourself. But not too much, or you risk drawing attention to yourself.
Babs: Now, get in there and be normal.
Babs: I know. Accessories! Whoa! [grunt]
Zatanna: [sigh] Have you finished tormenting this poor girl? Then, allow me. detcefrep rennam lla ni stcefrep kool ["perfected manner all in perfects look" with each word in reverse] Ta-da!
Jessica: Oh, she's good.
Babs: [gasps]
Zatanna: Ladies and ladies, may I present Diana Prince. Foreign exchange student from Greece. Geek chic.
Diana: And these garments give me the appearance of a typical mortal female adolescent?
[all together]
Jessica: Oh yeah.
Zatanna: Oh, yes.
Kara: I guess.
Diana: Good. Then it is my turn.
Babs: [squeal]
Diana: If we are to be a team, then I must know your skills and abilities. You! Name, rank, skills
Jessica: Uh... Hi, I'm Jess. I'm a cadet in something called the Green Lantern Corp. And... [exhales] Oh, boy. Well, see, I was given this power ring by these weird aliens. They are sort of like space cops and they patrol these different sectors. You know what, the whole thing is really complicated. I can make stuff with this ring.
Babs: That is so cool! Do a pogo stick. A burrito. A mucho megarrito supremo with the works!
Diana: With this ring of the gods, you may produce any weapon imaginable to beat your enemies into submission?
Jessica: Well, in theory, yes. But I don't believe in violence.
Diana: Admirable. So how shall you be known?
Jessica: Green Lantern? Kinda comes with the ring.
Diana: Good. And you, Batgirl?
Babs: I can do all sorts of cool stuff. Even though I don't have any alien rings or anything, but I'm really good at figuring things out. And I make the coolest bat gadgets, like this! Bat barometer and this glow-in-the-dark bat staff. And these bat grappling hooks that I was totally this close to using when Batman was fighting Professor Pyg on the roof of this building. But then Robin showed up, and Batman had to save him. And you know how that goes. And I never actually got to show him how they work. And I never even got to meet him, but that's a whole different story, so I...
Diana: You lack focus.
Babs: What?
Zatanna: You can call me the mysterious, the fabulous, the awe-inspring... Zatanna!
Diana: Impressive. Have you other skills?
Zatanna: I can turn a red heart black. Ever seen a jumping jack? Go ahead, check behind your ear.
Diana: [gasps] What sorcery is this? I have seen enough. Though you possess great quantities of style, you must learn to channel your magic into a cause. Our cause. And I am afraid this uniform will not suffice. Think of another.
Zatanna: [gasp]
Babs: Try a cape.
Diana: What can you do?
Karen: [grunt] I can, um... [scream] I'm still sort of working out the kinks. [gulp]
[buzzing]
Karen: Oh, the wings aren't supposed to buzz like that. I'm working on rocket launchers, but they malfunction. The whole thing is all messed up. I wanted to be big and strong, so people would notice me, but... my growth tech backfired, and now I'm even smaller and more invisible than before. I should just go home.
Diana: You possess far more strength than you know. You simply lack confidence, little Bumblebee.
Karen: I actually prefer the indestructible, gamma phase, 1000 k—
Diana: Bumblebee.
[wings buzzing]
Babs: Trust me, it's way better.
Diana: And you, we've seen your incredible strength. Is there anything more you have to offer?
Kara: [scoff] Not to you. I'm no hero, "Princess." That racket's for chumps.
Diana: You could be the greatest hero the world of Man has ever known. You simply lack proper motivation!
Babs: [screaming]
[all gasping]
Babs: [screaming]
[thuds]
Jessica: [gasp] Have you lost your mind?
Babs: [screaming]
Kara: Okay, fine. I am a super hero, all right. [scoff] So what?
Babs: [gasp] Again! Again, again, again!
[all cheering]
Jessica: Oh, thank goodness.
Zatanna: Ugh, I conjured a new outfit to hang out in a junkyard?
Babs: Shh. She knows what she's doing.
Diana: Soldiers! Our mission is to save the world of Man.
Babs: That's right.
Diana: In order to do this...
Babs: Preach, sister!
Diana:...we must learn to save...
Babs: Whoo-hoo.
Diana: ...man himself.
Karen: Um, I think those are ladies.
Diana: [grunt]
[clattering]
[gasping]
Diana: And now, it is your turn. [grunt]
♪ The Soul of a warrior
Speed of a tiger ♪
♪ Tough as stone ♪
♪ Find a wolf pack
worthy of you ♪
♪ And you'll never
fight alone ♪
Babs: Normal teenager lesson number four. Pop culture.
Zatanna: [groan] Culture? Is she kidding?
Babs: [gasp] O-M... No way! It's the super-rare Batman giant super-special with limited edition pull-out Batman poster. I would kill for this!
Diana: Have you learned nothing? We must protect the innocent, not engage in needless slaughter over material goods.
Jessica: Diana, it's just an expression. A figure of speech. For instance, if you are hungry, you might say, "I'd kill for a burrito." Go on, you try.
Diana: [inhale] [exhale] I WILL KILL YOU FOR A BURRITO!
Burrito vendor: [screaming]
Diana: Accept my payment or DIE!
[all gasp]
♪ Be the change in the world
that you would want to see ♪
♪ I'll do what it takes
to make my mark on history ♪
♪ I got vision
I got my crew ♪
♪ And there's nothing
we can't do ♪
♪ I'm ready to rise ♪
♪ Eyes on the prize ♪
♪ I'm ready to rise ♪
♪ Eyes on the prize ♪
Dog: [growl] [barking]
♪ The role of a warrior
Speed of a tiger ♪
♪ Tough as stone ♪
♪ Find a wolf pack
worthy of you ♪
♪ And you'll never
fight alone ♪
♪ I've got my girls
And they got me ♪
♪ There's no way
you can defeat us ♪
♪ I'm ready to rise ♪
♪ Eyes on the prize ♪
Babs: Normal teenager lesson number 26. Uh, what are we doing again?
Zatanna: Pampering ourselves. Isn't it relaxing? An important part of being a teenage girl is taking care of yourself.
Diana: And, in the world of Man, the toe-nail is the point of focus?
Zatanna: Precisely. Isn't this fun?
Spa employee: Such enormous calluses.
Diana: Ugh!
Spa employee: Time for the big gun.
[whirring]
Diana: WEAPON!
[all screaming]
♪ Be the change in the world
that you would want to see ♪
♪ I'll do what it takes
to make my mark on history ♪
♪ I got vision
I got my crew ♪
♪ And there's nothing
we can't do ♪
♪ I'm ready to rise ♪
♪ Eyes on the prize ♪
Babs: Uh, those weren't bad guys?
♪ I'm ready to rise ♪
[roar]
♪ Eyes on the prize ♪
♪ I'm ready to rise ♪
[gasp]
♪ Eyes on the prize ♪
Babs: Normal teenager lesson number 86... Romance.
Aiden: I never wanted to love her, Alexandra. But she's the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me, ever. So, why hasn't Caitlyn texted me?
Kara: [snoring]
Alexandra: She just needs time, Aiden. It's only been two days. If she texts after three days,that's irrevocable love.
Diana: What is happening?
Karen: Aiden just realized he can't live without Caitlyn. But Alexandra is telling him that Caitlyn won't text until tomorrow, because that's exactly what Michael didn't do to her when they broke up. And, isn't it all just so sad and beautiful?
Diana: Teenage males are very confusing.
Jessica, Babs, Karen, Zatanna: Tell me about it!
Aiden: Caitlyn! You will be mine, Caitlyn. Forever.
Diana: Beware, Caitlyn! Aiden attacks! [yelling]
Karen: No, Diana! He's just going to... Kiss her.
Kara: She is just not getting it, you guys.
Babs: No! I am not giving up on this team. There's got to be some place to loosen up an uptight warrior princess.
Karen: Oh, I know.
[rock music]
[ominous music]
[theme music]

Sweet Justice part 3[]

[theme song playing]
[chattering]
Zatanna: Ladies, after a night like tonight, there's only one thing that can cement this friendship. Frosting!
Kara, Zatanna, Karen, Jessica: Sweet Justice!
Kara: You do not wanna miss this.
Babs: How did I not know about this?
Barry: Hey, guys. So, what's the haps, what's poppin', what's the latest? Can I get you something sweet? Sure hope so, 'cause that's what we have. It's sort of our specialty.
Jessica, Kara, Karen, Zatanna: Hi, Barry.
Barry: So, what'll it be? The usual? The usual? The usual? The usual? The usua—
Zatanna: Babs will have the candy cake triple ripple tower with the rainbow sprinkles and Diana will have the death by chocolate. Figure of speech, Diana.
Barry: Here you go. Oh, hey, nice to meet you, Diana.
Diana: It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I shall await your text message in three days' time.
Jessica: Well, what are you waiting for?
Diana: [gasp] [munching] [gasp] Never have I tasted such wonderment. More. I must have more of this magical concoction. Do you intend to eat that?
Karen: Uh...
Diana: [munching]
Karen: Diana...
Diana: SISTERS! This food is more delectable than ambrosia, this place more perfect than Elysium. I declare that we must celebrate our every future victory here and thus!
Babs: Sweet Justice for the win!
Diana: I do not know what that means!
Sweet Justice owner man: Hey, what are you doing? We turned down the offer. Get out of here, please.
Sweet Justice owner woman: We said we wouldn't sell. Barry, go get our lawyer.
Jessica: Lawyer? Why do they need a lawyer?
[woman screams]
Demo-bot foreman: Attention, citizens. :This business or dwelling has been categorized for immediate destruction.
Sweet Justice owner man: No!
Man: Huh?
Boy: What?
Demo-bot foreman: By order of the city of Metropolis, you must vacate before structure removal begins. You have 30 seconds to comply.
[crowd screaming]
Kara: What should we do?
Zatanna: What can we do? They're city robots.
Demo-bot foreman: You have 15 seconds to comply.
Sweet Justice owner woman: Please, girls, let's go. Nothing we say is gonna stop 'em.
Jessica: But the city can't tear this place down without your permission. This doesn't make sense.
Demo-bot foreman: You have ten seconds to comply. Ten...
Diana: Is this a law we must obey? Or should we fight?
Sweet Justice owner man: Girls, please. This isn't worth getting hurt over.
Karen: Let's get out of here. We're not ready for a fight.
Demo-bot foreman: Two, one... This completes your warning. Demolition will now begin.
Boy: Johnny, look out!
Diana: [gasp] [grunt]
[all gasp]
Diana: It matters not if these villains are protected by man's law. Our mission is to protect the innocent. And that is what we must do. Come, sisters. This is our time.
Sweet Justice owner woman: [scream]
Diana: [gasp]
Kara: [cheer]
Sweet Justice owners: [screaming]
Kara: You're right. This is our time.
Babs: [grunt]
Jessica and Zatanna: Yeah!
Diana: Huzzah! Let us earn more chocolate.
Babs: Hee-ya!
Kara: [grunt]
Karen: [grunt]
Zatanna: og tog mrof ecnehw uoy emac ["go got from whence you came" with each word in reverse] Thank you, thank you. Nobody gets past the great Zatanna!
Diana: Great Hera! Why do they not run? Quickly, Supergirl, you must—
Kara: I got it!
Diana: No, wait!
Kara: I said I got it! Oops.
Jessica: Whoa! [grunt] [groan] Bumblebee, try short circuiting them!
Karen: [yelp] [gasp] It's too scary! I don't want to! I can't!
Babs: [grunts] [yells] [squeal]
Diana: Focus Batg— Oh, Hades! I shall do it myself! [grunts]]
Zatanna: Take this, heinous beasts!
Diana: [grunt]
Zatanna: I didn't mean you.
Diana and Kara: [grunts]
Jessica: [grunt] Everyone out! It's coming down!
Diana and Kara: [yelling]
Demo-bot foreman: Thank you for your cooperation. You will receive a bill for any damage to city property. Have a nice day.
Diana: Insubordination! Why did you not await my orders?! You are reckless!
Kara: Well, excuse me, Princess, in case you didn't notice I was the only one in there actually fighting!
Karen: Nh-h, I was fighting.
Zatanna: You were cringing.
Kara: If you wanna yell at someone, yell at her! One flick of that ring, and she could've taken all of them out!
Jessica: Oh, like Zatanna took out you and Wonder Woman?! Or was her showboating a better strategy?!
Zatanna: At least my magic blast did more than some silly magic rope!
[overlapping chatter]
Babs: [gasp] [louder gasp] You guys. You guys! It's okay, it's okay. We can fix this. A city would never demolish a private business! And demo-bots would never endanger the public! They were rigged! By Lex Luthor.
Jessica: Lex Luthor?
Babs: Uh-huh.
Zatanna: The wealthiest and most powerful man in all of Metropolis?
Babs: Uh-huh.
Kara: Oh, jeez. Focus, Batgirl! What could Lex Luthor possibly have against cupcakes?!
Babs: Uh... Huh? Uh, I don't know.
Karen: Face it. We were never meant to be heroes. Especially me.
Babs: Bumblebee, wait.
Zatanna: Well, I for one concur with Karen. I never wanted to do this in the first place.
Babs: No! You guys! Come on.
Jessica: I knew this stupid ring would lead to violence and destruction.
Kara: Like I said, trying to be a hero is for chumps.
Babs: Wonder Woman?
Diana: Barbara Gordon, meet... my mother.
Babs: [gasp] Dude, your mom looks like a final boss.
Queen Hippolyta: Disguising yourself as a warrior, entering the tournament of Athena and Aphrodite against the wishes of your Queen, leaving Themyscira without my permission!
Babs: Wait, you snuck out? But I thought it was your destiny to save the world of Man.
Queen Hippolyta: This insolent child has no such destiny! She has brought shame upon her people! Come, Diana! It is time to return home—
Diana: Ow, ow, ow!
Queen Hippolyta: —and accept your punishment. You are in for the grounding of your immortal life, young lady.
Babs: [weepily] Diana? [dial tone] Dad, can you come pick me up?
Commissioner Gordon: So, have fun with your new friends?
Babs: [coldly] Yeah, I did.
♪ All alone ♪
♪ Now we've been torn apart ♪
♪ Our story ends ♪
♪ Before it even starts ♪
♪ Though our love
Was a no-go ♪
[Babs sings along]
♪ I don't wanna go so low ♪
♪ Baby, you and me ♪
♪ We were the greatest team ♪
Harley: Babsy!
Babs: Hi, Harleen.
Harley: So? Status update, please. How's the new digs? Come back to Gotham! I miss you!
Babs: Oh, I miss you, too. Metropolis is... lonely.
Harley: Oh. That bad, huh? Oh, Babbly-boo, I hate being apart. If I had to do it all over, I'da done more ta keep you hea. Best friends, they're worth fighting for, ya know?
[sirens wailing]
Harley: Listen, kid. I gotta run. Gotham stuff.
Babs: [chuckles] [sigh] Gotham stuff.
Harley: [kiss] Love ya, Babsa-dabsa-doo!
♪ The soul of a warrior ♪
♪ The speed of a tiger ♪
♪ And tough as stone ♪
[doorbell]
Babs: I know you're—
[door shuts]
Babs: —mad at me, but—
[door shuts]
Babs: —you gotta hear—
[door shuts]
Babs: —me out! We have to—
Karen: Sorry, Babs. Sorry. [door shuts] I really am sorry.
[door shuts]
Babs: Gotta save Diana. [gasp] [knuckles crack]
[phone alarms]
[all groaning]
Kara, Zatanna, Jessica, and Karen: I'm not talking to you, Babs!
Babs: Guys, don't hang up!
Kara: Give us one reason why not!
Babs: 'cause I need you to fight! Plus the alarm will sound again.
Kara, Zatanna, Jessica, and Karen: [groan]
Babs: Look, I know not all of us wanted to be heroes, but one of us did. Her. We don't have to choose to be heroes. But Diana's super scary warrior mom is dragging her back to her crazy magical island forever and now the one of us who knew for sure she wanted to be, she's the one who doesn't have a choice. She wanted to save everybody in the whole entire world, and now she needs saving. You don't have to be heroes if you don't want. You don't have to fight. Except this one time. Because she's our friend. And best friends, they're worth fighting for, you know? ...Hello? Hello?
Kara: Yeah, you cut out for a second there. Can you repeat all that?
Babs: [groan]
[theme music playing]

Sweet Justice part 4[]

[theme song playing]
[beating drums]
Babs: [inhales] Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Pssssst.
Diana: Why are you here, Barbara Gordon?
Babs: We're here to seek you out. See?
Zatanna, Jessica, Karen, and Kara: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Babs: Ooh, that wasn't supposed to happen. Ow, ow, ow, ow!
Queen Hippolyta: How dare you board my vessel without permission?! Throw them to the ocean beast Cetus!
Babs: [yowl]
Zatanna, Jessica, Karen, and Kara: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Kara: Oh, wait. [grunt]
Babs: Wow! [grunt]
Jessica: Diana, we won't let you go without a fight!
Zatanna: We're sorry we gave up, Diana!
Babs: [yelp]
Karen: You gotta come back and be our leader again!
Babs: It's true. Look how bad we are at this! [screaming]
Kara: You once said I could be the greatest hero the world of Man ever knew. [muffled] But it wasn't me, it's you!
[screams, grunts]
Diana: Amazons, your Princess commands you to stop!
Queen Hippolyta: And your Queen commands you to continue!
[grunting and groaning]
Diana: Stop!
Queen Hippolyta: Continue!
Diana: Stop!
Queen Hippolyta: Continue!
Diana: STOP!
Queen Hippolyta: CONTINUE!
Diana: STOP!
Amazon: ...well? Which one is it?
Queen Hippolyta: You are only 317 years old, Diana. A girl, who is too young and too naive to make her own decisions!
Diana: No! It was I, Mother, I who survived the 21 tests of the tournament of Athena and Aphrodite. While I may be young, I have proven I am my own woman and I decide who I want to be. It is Amazon law.
Amazons: It is law!
Queen Hippolyta: [sigh]
Diana: Eeeeee!
Jessica, Karen, Kara, Zatanna, Babs: [weakly] Yay.
Babs: Congrats, Diana. Disobeying your mom is normal teenager lesson number 218. You're officially a teenager, and we're officially a team again!
[all cheer]
Babs: And there's only one place to celebrate!
Karen: Uh, guys?
Babs: Oh, no, first they tore down Sweet Justice, now they're gonna demolish the pier!
Demo-bot foreman: You must vacate this business or dwelling immediately. You are interfering with lawful demolition protocols. You have ten seconds to comply.
Kara: Oh, yeah?! Well, you got ten seconds to say your prayers!
[thudding]
Kara: Huh?
Karen: Ah, what is that?
War suit: Come to have some fun, girls?
Babs: Ah-ha! I knew it! I knew it was Lex! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! [clears throat] I knew it was Lex.
Lena: Lex? I am not Lex! I'm—[grunt] Hold on. I'm Lena! Lena Luthor. And all this? This is my plan, not my dopey brother's! He can never come up with something this good. Ugh... Oh, do I have to spell it out?!
Kara: Yeah, you kinda do!
Lena: Pfft, figures! You teenagers think you're so smart, with your staying up late, and your driving cars, and your commercials! But you're so dumb...
Lex and Lena: [blowing raspberry]
Lena: ...you can't even pick up on the most obvious of evil plots. Even when it's literally in front of your face! So first, I reprogrammed Lex's worthless VR glasses. Then, I hacked the Demolition Robots the city contacted my doofus brother to make. And finally, I used them to destroy every "fun" and/or "cool" place to "hang" in Metropolis, so you lame-o teenagers will have nowhere else to go for your mindless entertainment, trapped forever in my VR world, tailor-made, just for you.
Puppy: [sneezing]
Lena: Every last lame-brained one of you.
Teenagers: Aww.
Lena: With all you teenagers out of the way, children will rule Metropolis! [laughs maniacally] [laughs mockingly]
Kara: That's the dumbest plan I've ever heard.
Lena: YOU'RE the dumbest plan I've ever heard! And once this pier is destroyed, you're next!
Babs: Your plan will never work, Lena! We teenagers are stronger than you think!
Puppy: [sneeze]
Karen: Aww!
Babs: Bumblebee!
Karen: Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Babs: Anyway, the point is, you can destroy our favorite places, but you'll never destroy our friendships!
Kara, Jessica, Diana, Zatanna, and Karen: Yeah!
Lena: Pfft, whatevs.
[ding]
Lena: Roll out, boys!
Diana: Come, sisters. It was on this sacred ground that we became friends. Now, this pier is where we shall become heroes! [battle cry]
Lena: Yah!
Karen: Zatanna, look!
Jessica: [grunt] This isn't working!
Babs: There's too many of them! What do we do?
Lena: [laughing maniacally] I win, I win, I win, I win!
Zatanna: We are totally losing, you guys! And every teenager in Metropolis is gonna pay the price!
Diana: It is impossible for six warriors to defeat an army... unless... we take out the general.
Jessica: Lena! If we can stop her, the rest should follow.
Zatanna: But how?
Babs: Even giant mega warsuits need power. If we can jolt the mainframe, we can short it out.
Zatanna: I repeat, but how?
Kara: I got one just like this and it shorts out my house all the time. Just turn it up to ten and shred!
Babs: But how do we get it to the motherboard inside the warsuit?
Karen: I'll do it.
Diana: Bumblebee, are you sure?
Karen: It's too scary and I don't wanna do it. But I will!
Babs: Great! Connect this cable to the CPU in Lena's suit, and I'll rig the amp to go past ten.
Kara: No way! Can you do that for mine?
Babs: Then I can plug the other end to the amp and...
Kara: Zzzzt! Bratty McBratterson's going down!
Diana: Green Lantern, get Batgirl as close to Lena as you can. Supergirl, Zatanna, you're with me. Now, let us do this.
Zatanna: egarim! ["mirage" in reverse]
Lena: [grunt]
Zatanna: egarim. egarim. ejarim.
Lena: [grunt] Stay still!
Zatanna: egarim. egarim.
Lena: Ahh!
Diana: Ha!
Kara: [grunting]
Lena: Ahh!
Karen: [gasp] I'm in. Is the amp ready?
Babs: Oh yeah. Almost there.
Jessica: [grunting]
Babs: [grunt]
Karen: [squeal] [grunt]
Lena: [screaming] Get off! Say goodbye to your pier, suckers!
Zatanna: It's now or never!
Babs: [scream] Hey, Supergirl, ready to rock?!
Kara: All right little girl, time for a lullaby!

[electric guitar plays]

Lena: [screaming]
Karen: [gasp] [grunting] [yelling]
Lena: What? How? No! You cheated! YOU CHEATED! You cheated, you cheated! Uh-oh.
Teenagers: [indistinct chatter]
Teenage boy: Wanna see a movie at my house?
Teenage girl: Yeah.
Other teenage girl: All right, sure.
Babs: Um, Bumblebee got out, right?
[all gasp]
Babs: Bumblebee!
Karen: [squealing] Did we do it?
Zatanna: Nice highlights, what's your secret?
Diana: Courage.
Babs: Yaaaah!
[siren blares]
Lena: Oh, no fair! No FAIR!
Lex: There she is Mom! See? Told you she stole my stuff.
Lillian: Lutessa Lena Luthor, you get in this car right now!
Lena: You can't make me! NOOOO! No! No! No! [cries]
Lillian: Oh, I'm sorry about your warsuit, Lex.
Lex: [scoff] Don't worry, Mom. I'm just happy the little tyke is alright.
Lena and Lex: [blowing raspberry]
Lillian: Oh, you think next time you can get those cupcakes you promised?
Lex: Hah! Already on it, Mom. I'm not saying goodbye to the best snickerdoodles in Metropolis.
Lena: You'll pay for this, super teen jerks! YOU'LL PAY!
[crowd clamoring in admiration]
Man: Brand new superhero team right here in Metropolis!
Girl Scout: And they're girls!
Girl Scouts: [chanting] Super Hero Girls!
Crowd: [chanting] Super Hero Girls! Super Hero Girls! Super Hero Girls!
Zatanna: [sigh] This is the life. Good friends and good chocolate.
Jessica: It's nice to have everything back to normal.
Babs: Blah, normal's overrated. [slurp] Mmm, remember when we first came here, and Diana said she wanted to be at this place all the time?
Kara: Yeah...?
Girls: Ow! Whoa!
Babs: Ta-da! It's our own home base! I took a few late night trips to the construction site while they were rebuilding.
Diana: Truly, this is a place of wonder.
Kara: [muffled] Not bad, Babs. Nice job.
Jessica: We can protect the whole city from here. No bad guy stands a chance!
Babs: Not with the Super Hero Girls on the case!
Karen: Aww!
Babs: Super-awesome super-heroness, here we come!
[theme music playing]

Adventures In Bunnysitting[]

[theme song playing]
[knocking at door]
Kara: [groans] Stupid super-hearing.
Jeremiah Danvers: Kara, your friend is here.
Kara: What? Who's coming over here this early? [grunt]
Zee: Hello Kara dear: my pride and joy.
Kara: Pride and huh?
Zee: This is Blackberry Hazel von Hausle III, and this is Dandelion Pipkin de Hyzenthlay.
Kara: M'kay. Why are they in my room?
Zee:Uh, hello. We had a whole text thing about it last night.
Kara: Whatev.
Zee: Please, Kara! You simply cannot flake on me now! This is my very first paid performance as a solo magician, and I need you to care for my two little lovelies while I'm away.
Kara: Can't you just take them with you? Aren't they, you know, part of your act or something?
Zee: [scoff] These are magical rabbits, my dear.They might be a bit much for a children's birthday party. Now, where can I put them?
Kara: I don't know, put them over there.
Zee: [gasp] On this floor? Ugh. Hold these. Now, there are only a few simple rules to bear in mind. First, they must be given only organic vegetables, cut into segments of no larger than an inch cubed. And I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to limit the cruciferous vegetables, as little Blackberry Hazel von Hausle III has had some issues with stomach discomfort recently. Then of course, they'll need access to fresh water at all times, no cooler than 57 degrees Fahrenheit, that's around 13.5 degrees Celsius. Ooh, and very important, when it's time for their brushing—
Kara: [stammering] How long are you gonna be gone?
Zee: Eh, no more than an hour. Now, as to the brushings. Three strokes gently to the left, then five strokes gently to the right.
Kara: Yeah, yeah, I got it.
Zee: Oh, okay. Oh, well, there is one more rule.
Kara: Dude!
Zee: Th-th-th-this is the most important rule of all. You're not, under any circumstances, to put these two together. Do you understand?
Kara: Whatev.
Zee: [squeal] Thank you, Kara! Mummy's gonna miss you lovelies. See you soon! Bye-ee!
[rabbits squeaking]
Kara: Who's the cutest little bunny-wunnies of all bunny-wunnies? It's you, isn't it? Yes, yes. Oh, are you the sweetest little magical bunnies? Are you? Are you the sweetest and magicaliest? I think so. Yes, I do.
[squeaking]
Kara: What were your stupid names again? Ah, who cares! You look like a Merlin, and you look like a Harry Houdini! Do you like those names? Yes, yes. Ah, you're so cute! Come here, Merlin. Oh, Merlin's a squishy little wuv-bunny. Yes, he is! Yes, he is! Now you, Harry Houdini. [chuckle] I'm drowning in cuteness! Now for a selfie for only us to see.
[camera shutter clicking]
Kara: Okay, back in your cages.
[whining]
Kara: Huh? Aw! Zee said I should keep you two apart...
[both whining]
Kara: I bet she gives you lots of dumb little rules to follow. She gives me dumb little rules, too. But we don't need those rules, do we? 'cause we're the cutest little magical bunnies ever. Rules are for suckers, aren't they? Yes, they are! Yes, they are. [gasp] You know what would make this even better? Let's have a carrot party!
[squeaking]
Kara: And don't do anything too cute while I'm gone, all right?
Kara: We got lucky, boys. Last one. [gasp] Harry Houdini! [gasp] You're a mom! You are so cute! I can't take it! Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. I never knew I needed this in my life. Say "carrots!"
[squeaking]
[camera shutter click]
Kara: Huh?
[door knock]
Jeremiah: Hey, Kara. I'm headed to the farmer's market. Need anything?
Kara: Carrots?
Jeremiah: You got it.
Kara: Okay, okay. Think, Kara.
[squeaks]
Kara: Ah! No, Kara, stop thinking.
Kara: There. [gasps]
-[squeaking]
Kara: How did I miss these?
Kara: Gah! What is going on?
Kara: [grunting]
Kara: Phew. Eek!
Kara: Uh-oh.
Kara: [grunt] [gasp]
[rabbits squeaking]
Kara: No, no, no, no, no, no!
Kara: Hey, you two. Stop right there!
Kara: Uh, this might be getting slightly out of hand.
Waiter: Aw! [yell]
[squeak]
Crowd: Aw! [screaming]
Kara: Time to take out the adorable trash!
Kara: Halt! [gasp] They're headed for midtown. They'll overrun the whole city! [grunt]
Kara: Sorry, rabbits. This road's closed. Whoa-a. Ah, seriously, guys? [grunt] Whoa-a-aa!
Zee: Now, Tommy, let's see what's behind... your ear!
[squeak]
Zee: Uh... Huh?
Tommy: That's not my quarter. That's a—
Girl: Bunnies!
Zee: [grunt]
[rabbits squeaking]
Kara: So... how's it goin'?
Zee: I told you to keep them apart!
Kara: I did. I totally did, for, like, at least ten minutes... Five... Three minutes, I... One minute.
Zee: Gah!
Kara: What was I supposed to do? They love each other.
Zee: Exactly! That's the problem.
Timmy: Oh, wow! What a great Superman costume!
Kara: This is not a Superman costume.
Zee: Uh, yes, children. This is my lovely assistant, Supergirl! She's here to help with the next trick, which is to make all these rabbits disappear! See, all gone! Come on, lovely assistant. Let's make the rest of these rabbits vanish.
[children] Yeah!
[rumbling]
Zee: Ta-da!
[children] Hurray!
Teddy: Superman's sister is the best!
Kara: Listen, kid, I—
[rumbling]
Kara: Maybe it's just the rest of the city applauding?
[rabbits squeaking]
Zee: Oh, no! They're still together!
Kara: And they still love each other.
[all screaming]
Kara: Ah! Drowning in cuteness!
Zee: I gave you one rule!
Kara: No. No, you didn't. You gave me, like, 500 rules.
Zee: And you broke the only one that mattered!
Kara: How was I supposed to know Harry Houdini was a girl?
Teddy: Whee!
Zee: Harry what? How dare you! Those rabbits are purebred magical creatures with carefully selected names. They are not to be mentioned in the same breath as Merlin and Harry Houdini!
Kara: My names are way better than yours!
Zee: Never mind! The only way to stop magical rabbits... [gasp] is with magic itself. Since the cause of all this is the love between Blackberry Hazel von Hausle III and Dandelion Pipkin de Hyzenthlay—
Kara: Merlin and Harry Houdini.
Zee: —then I will simply have to cast a hate spell to drive them apart. leef ton stibbar evol kaeps I ["feel not rabbits love, speak I" with each word in reverse]
[whooshing]
Zee: [gasp]
Kara: Uh, what's going on?
[low growl]
Giant rabbit monster: [roar]
Zee: I may have worded that spell wrong.
Kara: I couldn't handle them when they were a million tiny bunnies, but one giant monster? No problem. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh, come on! Let me punch you! [grunt] Hey!
Giant rabbit monster: [roar]
Zee: Supergirl!
Kara: I'm sorry I broke your stupid rule.
Giant rabbit monster: [growl] [roars]
Zee: Run, children! Run!
[children screaming]
Zee: This is not how I raised you!
Giant rabbit monster: [grunt] [roar]
Zee: Supergirl! You're alive! [gasp] Hurry! You've got to separate them!
Kara: But... But they love each other.
Zee: Seriously?!
Kara: [straining]
Giant rabbit monster: [low growl]
Zee: Uh... Ta-da!
[all cheering]
Zee: Now, if you'll just place Blackberry Hazel von Hausle III in that cage, and Dandelion Pipkin de Hyzenthlay in the other, and never the twain shall meet. Let's just go over the rules again. Cut into segments of no larger than an inch cubed. And I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to limit the cruciferous vegetables...
Kara: Don't worry, Harry Houdini. I'd never keep you from your wittle wove Merlin forever, would I? No, I wouldn't. Rules can't stop true love.
[theme music playing]

Hate Triangle[]

[theme song playing]
[whooshing]
Hal: This is it! I got you pinned inside the tent, staring at an all-out blitz.
Jessica: Wait. What? What does that mean? [grunt]
[both grunting]
Kilowog: No, no, no. I don’t get it, Cruz, what’s the plan here? Hope the pizza guy happens by and distracts him?
Hal: Eh, could be a good strategy, actually.
Kilowog: Quiet, Jordan! If you were fightin’ anyone other than this poozer, you’d be in the infirmary right now.
Hal: I told you, Kilowog, Jess doesn’t fight.
Kilowog: [grunt] In the Green Lantern Corps, everyone fights.
[both grunting]
Kilowog: Your ring is only as strong as your willpower. Fear weakens your mind. It renders your ring useless.
Jessica: [grunts]
KIlowog: Why won’t you fight back? Are you afraid?
Jessica: I’m not afraid!
Kilowog: [muffled yell]
Hal: [laugh] She’s beating you with sushi.
Kilowog: [grunting]
Jessica: [grunt]
Kilowog: [groan]
Jessica: I just believe that when it comes to fighting, there’s always another way.
Kilowog: You got lucky. Well, you won’t be able to keep that up, forever. Sooner or later, you will have to learn to fight.
[buzzing]
Hal: Yeah, Kilowog’s right, you know. You’re gonna have to hit someone, eventually.
Jessica: Oh, Hal, must you be so wrong about so many things?
Girl: Go get him tonight, Jordan!
Girl #2: Nibble on, Hamsters!
Trio: Whoo!
Hal: Nibble on. Whoo! Hey.
Jessica: Life isn’t like a sports match, Hal. There are more ways to perform a touchdown than punching people.
Hal: Yeah, whatever. I stopped listening after "Hal." [exclaims] Oh, no!
[bottles clattering]
Hal: I didn’t know that we were playing these guys.
Jessica: [laughing] Hang on! Is the great Hal Jordan actually afraid of the other team?
Hal: It’s not the team I’m afraid of. [whimpering] I finally got tracked down... By my greatest enemy.
Jessica: What? Behind the cheerleader?
Hal: It is the cheerleader! [gasps] I think she saw me! [whimpering]
Jessica: Oh, stop it, you big baby. I’m sure she’s... harmless.
[rumbling]
Star: [sinister voice] Thought you got rid of me, didn’t you, Hal Jordan? Well, now, you’re mine!
[all screaming]
Star: You belong to me, Hal Jordan! Show your face, Hal Jordan!
[boy exclaims]
Jessica: [panting] Come on!
Hal: [yells]
[all screaming]
Jessica: What’s going on? Who is this girl?
Hal: She’s called Star Sapphire, and she’s super clingy.
Jessica: I can see that. Is she some kind of super evil maniacal space princess or something?
Hal: Worse! She’s... my ex-girlfriend.
Jessica: Wait. What?
[explosion]
Jessica: Leave it to you to date a super villain. Come on, Hal. As Kilowog would say, "Let's stop this poozer." In brightest day, in blackest night.
Hal: No evil shall escape my sight.
Jessica: Let those who worship evil’s might...
Hal: Beware our power...
Hal And Jessica: Green Lantern’s light!
[sputtering]
Jessica: What’s wrong with your ring? [gasps] Hal! Are you scared?
Hal: Dude! She really freaks me out.
[grunts]
Hal: [Moans]
Jessica: Run, Hal, the locker room!
Star: You can’t hide from my love, Hal Jordan!
Jessica: What did you do to her?
Hal: Nothing. She’s just mad ’cause I broke up with her.
Star: Worst text EVER!
Jessica: Wait!
Hal: [thuds]
Jessica: You broke up with her over text?
Hal: I put a smiley face in it. I’m not the Joker.
Star: Well, now there’s a frowny face... [yells] On my heart!
Hal: [whimpers]
Jessica: How could you do that to her?
Star: You broke my heart.
Jessica: That’s the lowest thing you’ve ever done.
Star: I cry myself to sleep every night.
Hal: [groans] Will you please just hit her?
Jessica: If anyone deserves to be hit, it’s you!
Star: [exclaims]
[boy coughs]
Boy: Girl!
[all screaming]
Hal: Ow! Come on. I didn’t know she was a Violet Lantern when I started dating her. She was just Carol.
Jessica: A violet what?
Hal: A Violet Lantern. You know, how our rings use will-power, hers uses love.
Star: You can’t run from me, Hal Jordan! Love will always find a way!
Hal: [sighs] If only I wasn’t so effortlessly charming and ruggedly good-looking, then she wouldn’t have any power.
Jessica: [gasps] Wait a minute. You might be onto something there.
Hal: Oh, so you think I’m ruggedly good-looking, huh?
Jessica: Ugh!
Hal: Ow!
Jessica: She’s powered by love, right? So, we have to make her not love you. By making you ugly.
Hal: [chuckles] Good luck! Hey. Hmm.
Jessica: Ugh.
Hal: [clicks tongue] See? Lost cause.
Garth: [whistling] Oh, hey, guys, what’s up?
Jessica: Garth, take off your clothes.
Garth: What? [grunts]
Jessica: Thanks, Garth. We just need to borrow your style for a bit.
Garth: Yeah. You’re not the first to tell me that.Everyone loves my flava.
Jessica: Okay, Hal, slouch it down a little. Now, shorten your neck.
Hal: [grunts]
Jessica: Stick out your gut.
Hal: [grunts]
Jessica: Little more.
Hal: [grunts]
Jessica: Perfect! That’s super unattractive!
Garth: Wait. What?
Hal: [grunts] [exhales] [inhales deeply]
[suspenseful music playing]
Star: There you are.
Hal: Greetings, Carol. You want to hear all about my new allergies?
Star: Eww.
Jessica: [gasps] It’s working. She’s losing power.
Hal: Or... Or maybe... Maybe you want to come check out my... [softly] Hey, Garth, what’s something dumb that you like?
Garth: Star Battles comic books. But they’re not dumb.
Hal: My Star Battles comic books.
Star: [grunts]
Hal: Look at me, I’m such a losery nerd.
Garth: Hey!
Hal: Ooh!
Star: [gasps] What happened to you? [crying] My beautiful Hal Jordan.
Hal: Sorry, baby. This is the real me.
Star: [whimpers] Look at you, so sad. So pathetic. So gross.
Hal: [sniffles]
Star: No one can ever love you like this. Except me. I’ll love you forever! Only I can see the beauty behind the geek! No one can love you like I can, Hal Jordan. Not even... Her!
Garth: [whimpers]
Star: Once you’re out of the picture, there’ll be no one left between me and my Hal Jordan!
Jessica: Oh, wait! You think... [laughs] No. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no, no! No. No, no, no, no, no. We are not together. Not even close to being together. We couldn’t be less together--
[zaps]
Star: You will so regret the day you stole my Hally Wal from me.
Jessica: [grunts]
[zapping]
Star: [grunts]
Jessica: [grunting]
[zapping]
Hal: Powered up like this, who knows what destruction she’ll cause. You have to fight her.
Jessica: No. There’s got to be another way.
Star: [screams]
Hal: Just hit her.
Jessica: No! [grunts]
[grunts]
Star: Hal Jordan is mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!
Hal: Come on. Fight, fight.
Hal and Garth: Fight, fight.
[grunts]
Hal: Fight. Fight!
Jessica: There’s no other way.
Hal: Fight! Fight! Fight!
Jessica: [grunts] I have to hurt you.
[explosion]
Star: [yells]
Jessica: [screaming]
Star: [screaming] What... What are you doing?
[Star Sapphire grunts and whimpers]
Jessica: Carol, he doesn’t love you.
Star: [whimpering] [crying] No!
Jessica: I’m sorry. I know it hurts.
Star: [sobbing]
Jessica: He doesn’t love you.
Star: [crying]
Hal: That is not how you hit!
Jessica: Listen, Carol, I get it. We all want to be loved, but you can do so much better than Hal Jordan.
Hal: [scoffs] Good luck.
Jessica: I mean, look at him.
Hal: Huh?
Jessica: His face is way too small for his head.
Hal: Hmm.
Jessica: He’s got terrible breath.
Star: It smells like dog food.
Jessica: His real name is Harold.
Hal: My name is Hal!
Jessica: The only book he’s ever read, is a playbook.
Star: I tried to get him to read Pride and Prejudice once, and he asked where the pictures were.
Jessica: See? He’s a smelly, freakish, nincompoop.
Hal: Uh, hey, Star, hit her.
Jessica: Listen, Carol, you’ll find the love you need, when you learn to love yourself.
Star: Thank you, Green Lantern. I don’t think I’ve ever felt love like this. My blind desire for Hal Jordan kept me from seeing how much love I had inside of me. You’re right, if he can’t appreciate me, then he isn’t good enough for me. So be warned, Hal Jordan, one day, I will make you good enough for me! And then you’ll be mine, forever! [laughing maniacally]
Jessica: Yeah... That’s not really a healthy attitude either.
Hal: You know, you could have just hit her, Jess. Now that she loves herself, she’ll be totally unstoppable. Trust me, I’ve seen a million chicks like this. Ow!
[theme music playing]

Burrito Bucket[]

[theme song playing]
♪ When super me Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side
♪ Look out, world We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow!
Babs: In a world hungry for justice, where citizens thirst for righteousness, and yearn for the taste of freedom, one woman's there to serve them the liberty they so desperately crave. And also, burritos. Buckets and buckets of burritos. [whistling]
Shane: Gordon!
Babs: Buenos dias, Shane.
Shane: That's Mr. O'Shaughnessy to you! And you're late. Again!
Babs: I am?
Shane: That's the sixth time this week, Gordon, and it's only Monday!
Babs: Oh, sorry, Shane. Er, Mr. O'Shaughnessy, sir.
Shane: Listen, Gordon, some people know the importance of a good work ethic. Punctuality, responsibility. Some people take their job seriously.
Babs: Believe you me, Senor O'Shaughnessy, nothing's more important to me than this job. I love Burrito Bucket. I've been a fan of Burrito Bucket since I was five!
Shane: Whatever. If you're late one more time, today, tomorrow, for the rest of your life, you're fired!
Babs: Fired? Could this be the end for a habanero heroine, our enchilada enforcer, our lady sentinel of the sacred bean? No!
Shane: What?
Babs: Nothing. From here on out, I'll be the master of time management, the crusader of the clock, the expert of hours. [whistling] Hmm, suspicious. Really suspicious.
[guns powering up]
Babs: Extremely suspicious! [gasps] I don't think those dudes are bank patrons at all! Mr. O'Shaughnessy! Hey, hey! Mr. O...
Shane: What?
Babs: Bathroom break?
Shane: No.
Babs: [panting] Please!
Shane: Ugh. Two minutes. But one second later, and you are so fired.
Babs: Alarm. One minute 50. There. Plenty of time. [gasps] I knew it. They're totally not bank patrons! Citizens of Metropolis, fear not, for Batgirl is here to put an end to this egregious evildoing. With supreme mastery of the martial arts, terrifically high-tech gadgetry and unshakable moral certitude, she will make short work of these buffoonish bank-robbing baddies!
Robber #2: Hey, who you calling buffoonish?
Babs: Give up now, you foolish fiends, you nefarious nimrods, for now is the time--
[alarm beeping]
Babs: Time... Oh, no! [gasps] Oh. Oh. Uh... [grunts] Nobody move! I'll be right back. [panting]
Shane: Three, two, one...
[door opens]
Babs: Senor O'Shaughnessy, you think I could have my 15-minute break early today? Like... Ooh, I don't know, now?
Shane: Break's at noon, Gordon. No exceptions.
Babs: Uh... Another bathroom break?
Shane: You just went.
Babs: I like to stay really hydrated. [glugging] Oh, no, that trash can is awfully full. If only I had a short break to take it out to the dumpster.
Shane: Ugh. Fine, Gordon. One minute!
Babs: Si. One minute.Time to take out the trash.
Robber #2: What do you mean, take it out? You just brought it in here.
Babs: Prepare to face defeat at the hands of Bat... Bat... Bat... Bathroom! [whimpers and pants]
[flushing]
Babs: Now, where were we...
[alarm beeping]
Babs: Ah, crud! [panting] Whoa! [chuckles nervously]
[bell rings]
Babs: Hola. Can I take your order?
Customer: Uh, yes. One bucket of tacos, please.
Babs: Hey, you look like a guy who likes it hot.
Customer: Uh, I do? Uh...
Babs: Oh, no! Out of hot sauce. Running to the store!
Shane: Two minutes!
Robber #2: Come on, you mooks, let's get out of here.
Babs: Not so fast!
Robber #1: What is with this girl?
Babs: This girl's gonna kick your--
[alarm beeping]
Babs: Hold that thought. Ah! [chuckles sheepishly]
Shane: Where's the hot sauce?
Babs: I, uh, well...
[bell rings]
Babs: Customer!
Delivery Man: Metropoleats Delivery Service. I'm here to pick up an order for--
Babs: I'll take it!
Delivery Man: Ahh!
Shane: Two minutes!
Babs: [grunts] Hostages! Seriously?
Robber #2: You took our keys.What are we supposed to do? Look, just let us leave with the cash and nobody gets hurt.
Babs: Oh, someone's gonna get hurt.
[alarm beeping]
Babs: Oh, come on! [grunts]
[line ringing]
Babs: Flash, I need your help. I've got a hostage situation at the bank, but if I leave work right now my boss will kill me!
Flash: Say no more. I'm already here.
Babs Great. Be there ASASHP. As soon as super-humanly possible.
Shane: [clears throat]
Babs: Ah!
[bell rings]
Babs: Uh,  hola, amigo. What will it be?
Customer #2 :Yes. I'll have... um... a burrito.
Babs: A burrito? How about a bucket? Do you want tacos with that?
Customer #2: Hmm. Tacos. Tacos.
Babs: [groans in frustration]
Customer #2 :Tacos, tacos, tacos. You know, a burrito does sound... burrito-ey... Hmm. Tough choice. Just give me a minute...
Babs: One minute, got it!
Customer #2:...to decide.
Babs: [gasps] Flash, what happened?
Flash: Dude, I'm as surprised as you are.
Babs: [stammering] But--
[alarm beeping]
Babs: [yells]
Customer #2: You know what? I want sushi. Peace!
Babs: [groans]
Shane: Gordon! We just got an order for 100 buckets. Get to work!
Babs: [stammering] A hundred buckets? [yells] Are you kidding? [gasps] A-ha! Sorry, time for my federally mandated 15-minute break.
Shane: Fine, but when you get back, I want those 100 buckets. You better not be late, or I'll rain down a firing upon you like you've never seen!
Babs: Yes, sir, senor, sir. There's no way I can't take care of this in 15 minutes. [grunts] Flash, I need you to take out the trash, buy more hot sauce, and deliver the burrito buckets to the totaled car out front.
Flash: Right-o.
Babs: Just one thing left to do. Take your butts to jail. Hyah! Hyah!
Robber #2: Ah!
[alarm beeping]
Babs: Oh, no, the order! [grunts]
Jimmy: Hey!
Babs: Oops! Sorry, Jimmy. Huh? [gasps]
[wind blowing]
Babs: No!
Cleaner Man: What... Who are you?
Babs: Me? I'm... a total failure. Having utterly failed to apprehend the dastardly crooks, our crummy crusader slinks away in defeat. Surely a true hero, Wonder Woman, Supergirl, heck, even Apple Lad would have prevailed.
Shane: 95, 96, 97, 98, 99... A-ha! One bucket short, Gordon! That means you are so--
Babs: Fired. I know.
Robber #2: Yeah! Whoo! Time for victory tacos. Yeah, we'll take two taco buckets, four buckets of quesadillas, three buckets of guac... Oh, and buckets and buckets of your money. Come on, let's eat!
Babs: [gasps]
Robber #2: Stealing works up an appetite. Whoo-hoo! Hey, hi fives, hi fives.
Babs: Huh! There comes a time in every girl's life. A time to let go of past mistakes. A time to say "forget you" to the odds and allow the hero within to rise like the dough of the mighty churro. No, not Batgirl. A new kind of hero.
Robber #2: Hey. Who's she?
Babs: I am the Burrito Bucketeer!
[all grunt]
[screaming]
[all grunting]
[grunting continues]
[all groaning]
Shane: Gordon! Guess you've saved the restaurant.
Babs: I sure did. Seems like I should get my job back, huh?
Shane: [mumbles] Your job... Yeah.
Babs: Oh, thank you, Mr. O'Shaughnessy! And, seems like I should also get hour-long lunch breaks, huh?
Shane: No!
Babs: Half-hour it is.
Shane: No.
Babs: Employee of the Month?
Shane: Ugh. I'll give you Employee of the Night!
Babs: [gasps] I am the night. The Employee of the Night!
[theme music playing]

Meet The Cheetah[]

[theme song playing]
[girls cheering]
Girl: If you keep vaulting like that, we might actually win gold this year.
Barbi: Well, it wasn’t me who fell on the uneven bars.
Coach: Nice work, Barbi. Maybe your cleanest vault yet.
Barbi: Good. Then, if it’s settled, and I’m captain again, let’s get one thing clear...
Coach: Hang on. I think there’s one more girl. Diana Prince.
Barbi: Ugh, the new girl.
Diana: Lift me, Boreas. Let your wintery breath keep me aloft.
Coach: Prince!
Diana: [exhales]
[girls cheering]
Coach: Maybe we should have co-captains this year.
Barbi: What? Absolutely not!
Coach: Okay. Congratulations, Prince! You’re the new team captain.
[girls cheering and applauding]
Girl: Oh, yay!
Barbi: [growls]
Woman: Nice job, Barbi. Not too often you see a hundred percent in AP Calculus, is what I’d be saying if it weren’t for Diana over here. A hundred and two percent. Incredible! That’s a new school record.
[applauding]
Barbi: [growls] Hello, everyone! Pool party at my house!
Girl: Sorry, Barbi, we’re gonna stay and help Diana decorate for the dance.
Diana: Join us. There will be camaraderie and merriment.
Girl: Diana’s the best at merriment.
Girl 1: And she’s totally gonna show us her dance moves.
Girl 2: And she’s bringing--
Girl 3: Oh, my gosh! Diana’s so great!
[indistinct chatter]
Barbi: [growls] [screams]
Barbi: [continued screaming]
Barbi: [groans] Nice try, Daddy. [grunts] Too quick. Too humane. Too humorous. Diana Prince, little miss perfect, well, I’ve got the perfect curse for the perfect girl. Woe to she in Cheetah’s path, for she shall feel the Cheetah’s wrath, by claw and fang, and with spite and hate, swift as wind, she’ll seal your fate! [grunts]
[statue clinks]
Barbi: Useless thing.
Diana: It is with great excitement I anticipate sharing what the decorating committee has done.
Babs: And it is with great excitement I anticipate the dance!
Karen: But I don’t know how to dance.
Diana: Fear not, young Karen, for I possess dance moves that are rich with fleek. You’re welcome to study them.
Babs: [sings] ♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah ♪
♪ We’re gonna tear it up
On Friday night ♪ [gasps]
Kara: Looks like someone already "tore it up."
[thunder rumbling]
Jessica: That isn’t funny, Kara.
Kara: Instead of cutting a rug, they cut the posters.
Jessica: No, I mean, it’s literally not funny.
Kara: Maybe... Maybe the dance shouldn’t have booked a band that shreds so hard.
Diana: Hmm.
Jessica: Kara!
[thunder rumbling]
[door opens]
Diana: [gasps]
[cheetah growls]
[growling]
Diana: [gasps]
[thunder rumbling]
Kara: Guys, we better hurry before people think they’ve slashed the ticket prices.
Jessica: Kara!
Diana: [screams]
Jesica: [gasps] Diana? What happened? Who did this to you?
Diana: I don’t know. Something knocked into me. It came from nowhere.
Babs: [gasps] Don’t you see? Clearly, someone is suffering from having their status quo upended by Diana’s arrival in Metropolis, and their crippling insecurity most likely caused by absentee parenting, and a lack of proper modeling in childhood, has unleashed a horrible ancient curse that has manifested itself in the form of some weird cat beast that’s now stalking the perceived enemy which is Diana! [pants] There’s a monster on the loose!
Jessica: Then we have to get you somewhere safe.
Kara: It ain’t Diana that needs protecting.
Diana: Whatever it is could be perilous to everyone here. We must find a way to evacuate our fellow students without causing them distress.
[alarm rings]
[all gasp]
[students screaming]
Jessica: What happened to "no distress"?
Kara: Worked, didn’t it?
Diana: Come, girls. Let the hunt begin.
[electricity crackling]
[all gasp]
Diana: We have much territory to cover. Let us split ourselves.
Kara: Split up.
Diana: Yes, that.
[cat meows]
Jessica: [gasps] Oh, thank goodness. It’s only a cat. Come on out, kitty-kitty.
[cat meows]
Jessica: [gasps] [gasps]
[thunder rumbling]
[tablet tones beeping]
Babs: That’s weird. [gasps] [gulps] [gasps] [gasps] [screams]
[monster growling]
[Batgirl screams]
[thunder rumbling]
Zee: [gasps] [gasps]
[monster growls]
Zee: [screams]
[monster growls]
Zee: [screams]
[door opens and closes]
Kara: Forget it, whatever you are. I have infrared vision, sucka.
[monster growls]
Kara: [grunts] You think you’re fast? Well, I’m fast, too. [grunts]
Zee: Ha! Oh! [gasps] Oh.
Barbi: [growls]
Zee: [scream]
Karen: Zatanna?
[thunder rumbling]
Karen: [gasps] [gasps] Oh, no.
[monster growling]
[breathing heavily]
Karen: Phew! Okay. Okay, okay. Phew! Hero time! [screams] [gasps]
[monster growls]
[thunder rumbling]
Karen: [screams]
[monster growls]
Diana: Get away from her, you...
[monster growling]
Diana: [gasps] Cheetah?
Karen: [grunts]
[monster growling]
Diana: [grunting] [grunts]
Barbi: [growls]
Diana: [gasps] [grunts]
Barbi: [panting]
Diana: [yells] Well, Cheetah, it appears cats don’t always land on their-- [gasp] [gasp]
Barbi: [groans]
Diana: [gasps]
Barbi: Diana, stay away. The monster...
Diana: The Cheetah is gone, Barbi. You’re safe now.
Barbi: Oh, Diana, this is all my fault. I released the Cheetah.
Diana: [gasps] You, why?
Barbi: Because... I was jealous of you.
Diana: You needn’t be. One person’s success does not preclude another’s. Jealousy is a green-eyed monster that will consume you if you do not let it go.
Barbi: You’re right, Diana. I’m sorry.
[clattering]
Diana: The Cheetah.
Barbi: Go, Diana. I’m fine. Just go.
Diana: [gasps] Supergirl?
Babs: She can’t hear you.
Zee: She’ll be fine. In about seven hours. What about the monster?
Diana: She’s escaped, for now, but surely, we will face her another day.
Barbi: [grunts] Let go of the green-eyed monster, eh, Diana? And why would I ever want to let go of this? [laughs maniacally]

Beeline[]

[theme song playing]
♪ When super me Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side ♪
♪ Look out, world We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow! ♪
Diana: [panting] Come, sisters. The twilight of our struggles is not yet upon us.
Kara: Hurry! Before it's too late.
Karen: [breathing heavily] Right... behind you.
Babs: It's getting away!
[ferry horn blaring]
Babs: Aw! We missed it.
Kara: Nuts to that. We've got places to be.
Karen: [panting] [groans tiredly]
Babs: I'm gonna be late for work.
Kara: Work? I'm gonna be late for the concert.
Come on, Karen. You can do it. [grunting]
Diana: Ready? Jump!
[all grunting]
Karen: Almost there.
Jessica: Come on, Karen. Hurry!
Zee: You can still make it.
Karen: [gasps]
Zee: You've just got to try.
Karen: [stammering] I... [exclaims] I can't.
[ferry horn blares]
Babs: Use you sup--
Zee: There are far too many people around for that.
Babs: Oh...
Jessica: I hope she'll be all right.
Diana: Fear not, kind Jessica. Karen has great strength, yet undiscovered.
Kara: Yeah, she'll be fine.
Karen: I'll be fine.
Kara: She'll catch the next one.
Karen: I'll catch the next one.
[shutter clanks]
Karen: Or not. [sighs] Guess I have to take the long way home. Why couldn't you just try, Karen? Superheroes are supposed to take risks.You can't even jump to a ferry? Face it. You don't have what it takes to be a hero. You should just turn in your wings. [gasps] [whimpers]
[creature chittering]
Karen: [squeals in fear] [exclaims] [grunting] [panting] Oh, no. Star Sapphire. Catwoman. Livewire. Poison Ivy. Giganta. [gasps] Harley Quinn.
Harley: [laughs maniacally]
[all groan]
Harley: [continues laughing]
Catwoman: Can you please stop with that laughing? [gasps]
Harley: Come on, Kit-Cat. You know how this works. Winner of the coin toss picks the night's mayhem, and you lost. Leave it to the feline to go with tails.[laughs maniacally] Here. You like to climb. Pinky. Greenbean. Sparky. Meathead.
Giganta: Meathead? [growls]
Harley: And I saved the best for me. [giggles] Try giving me that math test now, Mr. Johnson. He's gonna be stuck in traffic all day. [laughs] [laughter echoes]
Karen: [gasps] They're gonna blow up the bridge. Someone's gotta stop them. And I know just the girl for the job. Wonder Woman!
[phone line ringing]
[beeping]
Karen: Diana, it's horrible. Harley doesn't want to take a test, so she's gonna blow up the bridge so her teachers can't get to school.
Diana: [over phone] Hello?
Karen: Diana? It's me, Karen. Can you--
Diana: Hello? Perhaps it isn't loud enough. Hello! All right, let me... [angrily] Speak, you infernal machine!
Diana, I can hear you. You have to hit the green button.
[line disconnects]
Karen: Hello? [sighs] [gasps] Supergirl.
[heavy metal music playing]
Kara: [whooping]
Karen: Kara! Hey, Kara! Kara, hey! Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, Kara, we gotta go. Quickly! There's a bridge, and we have to go because-- [screams] [screaming] [grunts] [sighs] [gasps] Batgirl.
[lively music playing]
Babs: Hola, welcome to Burrito Bucket. How may I help you?
Karen: Babs, you've gotta come with me. There's a--
Babs: We strive to make sure every amigo has a fiesta in a bucket. Every amigo.
Karen: Oh.
Man: [growls]
Karen: Sorry, sorry. Excuse me. Pardon me. Sorry. Sorry. [gasps] Where's Barbara?
Jimmy: On break. But she left you something.
Karen: Hmm.
Jessica: Save the cows. Kick the buckets.
Karen: [gasps] Green Lantern!
Jessica: Save the cows. Kick the buckets. Save the cows. Kick the buckets. Karen! You're here. Let's do some good. Save the cows--
Karen: No, Jess. You don't understand.
Jessica: No one understands. They'll never understand unless we make them. Give everyone one of these. Save the cows!
Karen: They're gonna blow up the bridge unless we stop them.
Jessica: [gasps] Karen, you're right. We have to save the bridge.
Karen: [laughs]
Jessica: The bridge between man and animal.
Karen: [groans] I mean, there's a bomb on the bridge!
Jessica: [gasps] I've never heard it put so eloquently. There's a bomb on the bridge! There's a bomb on the bridge! Hey, you! What's in that bucket? Hey! I have some pamphlets for you, mister. Hey!
[thudding]
Karen: [sighs] Zatanna!
[buzzing]
Karen: [grunts]
Zee: [gasps] Karen! I'm so sorry.
Karen: I need you to really listen to me right now and not say a single word until I get everything I need to say out, and don't hand me anything, and just listen to me right now, okay? There are bombs all over the bridge. Harley Quinn wants to blow it up so she doesn't have to take a test, which is crazy because why didn't she just study? And Catwoman lost a toin coss, so she's there, too. And so is Giganta, and Livewire, and Star Sapphire, and Poison Ivy. And if they succeed, traffic is going to be nuts, and that's no good for anybody. And I have to cross that bridge to get to piano lessons. And, like, I want to spend that much time in a car listening to my dad talk about the '90s? So, we gotta hurry 'cause they're all setting fuses, and I'm sorry people eat cows, but nobody's listening to me! And if we don't get over there right now and stop them, it'll be too late. Um... That's it.
Zee: Well, we've simply got to get over there and put a stop to this.
Karen: Really?
Zee: Of course. We can't let this villainy stand. You and me, Karen. Together, we're going to face those maniacs and save the day. As soon as I find my cape. I think I saw it over here yesterday. Or was it over here? Oh! I know where it is.
Karen: [growls] [screaming angrily]
[cell phone chimes]
Karen: Dead.
Harley: [laughing maniacally]
[in singsong voice] ♪ I'm gonna blow up The bridge ♪
♪ So I don't gotta do math ♪
Catwoman: Finished. Let's get this over with so we can have some fun.
Harley: Trust me, Kit-Cat. This is gonna be 100 different kinds of fun.
Karen: [exclaims] [whimpering] What're you gonna do, Karen? If they blow up the bridge, it will shut the whole city down. But you can't face six of them on your own. You wouldn't stand a chance. The city needs a hero. So, you've got to try.
Harley: [laughing]
Karen: [grunts] Huh? I did it. I did it. I saved the bridge by myself. I really did it!
Catwoman: Oh, you did it, all right
Karen: [gasps] Huh?
Catwoman: [hisses]
Giganta: [grunts]
Zee: [in singsong voice] ♪ Found my cape ♪ Oh, and I found these guys, too.
Diana: You have the courage of a Nemean lion, Bumblebee. Well done.
Livewire: [grunting]
Star Sapphre: [exclaims]
Jessica: "Bomb on the bridge!" I got it now.
Catwomam: [hissing]
Kara: See, I told them you'd be fine.
Babs: That move was the most amazing move of all time, and you totally need to use it over and over again. I'm gonna name it something awesome like... Uh... Beeline!
Karen: Beeline. Oh, yeah.
Babs: [shrieks] And maybe try it again? Like, now.
Karen: Oh, I'm not gonna try. I'm gonna do!
[theme music playing]

Super Who?[]

[theme song playing]
♪ When super me
Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically
Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side ♪
♪ Look out, world
We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together
Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow! ♪
[alarm ringing]
Female Reporter: And in this morning's headlines, Superman is at it again.
Kara: [groaning]
Female Reporter: And after such a trying ordeal, it was all thanks to Superman that the orphans were saved. In other news, Superman...
Radio Announcer: Metropolis's Big Blue Boy Scout, Superman, a hero for all of us--
Tourists: Superman! Superman! Superman!
Kara: [groaning] [sighing] Finally, a place where I don't have to see his annoying face-- [groaning in frustration]
Lois Lane: Olsen! Where's my art? Layout's in five! Cruz! ETA on the Enviro-Beat column? Gimme words!
Jessica: Almost done, Lois!
Lois Lane: Say, that's swell, Olsen! What's buzzin', cousin?
Kara: Why are you printing stuff about him in the school paper?
Lois Lane: What's eatin' you, Danvers? That's a legitimate story and I'm a legitimate reporter. Got it? Now who's got a pencil?
Kara: There are way more important stories out there than Superman.
Jessica: She's right. I've got a lead on some terrible chemical dumping.
Kara:What if I told you there was another hero out there, hmm? A better hero, with all the same powers as Superman but even awesomer.
Lois Lane: I like your potatoes, Danvers, but where's the meat? What other hero's gonna get me an internship at the Daily Planet?
Kara: Ever heard of Supergirl?
Lois Lane: Super who?
Kara: Supergirl.
Lois Lane: Eh, sounds like a retread to me. If this Supergirl of yours did anything to earn the front page, trust me, she'd be there. Now will someone please get me a pencil? Ah, there they are.
Kara: "Sounds like a retread to me." Ugh. What does that even mean?
Karen: Uh, um, Kara? Maybe just a few grams of that potassium, please.
Kara: If anyone's a retread it's him. Did you know I was 12 when Uncle Jor-El and Aunt Lara had him? I used to baby-sit him back on Krypton!
Babs: Really? I mean, dude, that bites! No wonder you're so mad.
Karen: You know what's mad? Adding too much lithium chloride..
.[liquid bubbling]
Kara: I could've gone to Earth first and then everyone would love me, but no, I had to get stuck in space stasis while he was down here becoming a... "Man." I mean, I have the exact same power as him. I come from the exact same planet. I practically have the exact same backstory-- Oops. My bad. What happened? I thought you measured all this stuff?
Karen: Yes, but when you add heat to highly volatile chemicals, they--
Kara: Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm. So why do they all love him and nobody even notices me?
Babs: Ooh! You know what you should do? Make them notice you. Get out there and show 'em what Supergirl can do!
Kara: Yeah... Yeah!
Diana: A word of caution, Kara. When we seek glory, it can sometimes blind us to the greater good.
Kara: Hmm. You're right. I'm gonna knock his grinning face off the front page.
Diana: [groans]
Lois: Oh!
[both grunting]
[thief groaning]
[crashing]
[siren blaring]
[tires squealing]
[car crashing]
[heroic music playing]
Kara: [growling]
[train horn blowing]
[people screaming]
[grunting]
Kara: Ahhh! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
[heroic music playing]
[crowd applauding]
Kara: [growling]
[mother and girls laughing and cheering]
Kara: [groaning in frustration]
[grunting]
[gasps]
Yeah!
[woman] Help!
Help!
[gurgling]
[grunting]
[groaning in frustration]
[bomb ticking]
Kara: Phew.
Yeah!
[crowd chanting] Superman!
Superman! Superman!
Kara: Ahhh!
Crowd: Superman!
Kara: Hey. Hey! [groaning] Hey!
Superman: Huh? What? Supergirl? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in school or something?
Kara: Uh, it's Saturday. And what I'm doing here is telling you to back off!
Superman: Back off? Ha, I don't follow.
Kara: I've been working my butt off for days trying to save people in Metropolis. But every time I do something to prove I'm a hero, there you are--
Superman: Being a hero?
Kara: Yes! I... I mean no. Ah uh, I, I mean...
Superman: Listen, cuz, if I've told you once, I've told you a million times. Being a real hero takes time and experience. Experience I have. As an adult.
Kara: [scoffing] Adult? You were Superboy, like, last summer!
Superman: It was two summers ago, and that's beside the point.Accept it. You're just not ready.
Kara: I'll show you ready!
Superman: Oh, ho, ho! See? Not even close.
[Kara grunting]
Superman: Behind you!
[Kara grunting]
Superman: Missed me! I mean, seriously, you call this fighting?
[Supergirl grunting]
Superman: You have a lot to learn, kid.
Kara: Ha! That's what I said to you when you were potty training!
[Superman grunting]
Superman: You're just jealous I'm--
Kara: A pompous bonehead?
Superman: I'll show you bonehead!
Kara: No, I'll show you.
[both grunting]
Kara: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Superman: [whimpering] You're messing with the look.
[Kara growls]
Superman: Stop acting like a child!
Kara: Why don't you make me, Clark?
Superman: Don't call me Clark, Kara.
Kara: Whatcha gonna do about it, Clark?
[liquid bubbling]
[growling]
[roaring]
[roaring]
[people screaming]
Lois Lane: Opportunity just knocked, kiddo. Ready to earn that Daily Planetinternship? Hey, goo guts! Turn around and smile for the camera!
[grunting]
[growling]
[gasping]
Lois Lane: On second thought, run now, pictures later!
Karen: [shrieks] [gasps] Hmm.
Kara: Quit it!
Superman: You quit it!
Kara: You started it!
Superman: You did!
Kara: You did first!
Lois Lane: Hey, Superman!
[growling]
[screaming]
Lois Lane: Help!
Superman: Playtime's over, kid.
[grunting]
Crowd: Superman! Superman! Superman! Superman! Superman! Superman!
Karen: Supergirl! Listen! You--
Kara: What are you doing here? Come to see the great hero, too?
Karen: No, listen! You have to stop him before he hits that thing! It's filled with hydrogen fluoride and antimony pentafluoride! It's 20 quintillion times more corrosive than sulfuric acid! He's made of super-dangerous glop! If Superman hits him, the splatter will be so massive it'll reduce Metropolis to a smoking hole in the ground.
Kara: [gasps]
[growling]
Superman: Mwah, mwah! Daddy's little helpers!
Kara: But... I don't know how to stop it!
Karen: Remember chemistry class? High temperatures can break chemicals down to their base elements! Get him away from Superman and blow him up!
[dramatic music playing]
[Superman grunts]
[Kara grunting]
Superman: Huh. Oh, yes!
Crowd: Superman!
Superman: Thank you, thank you. You're too kind.
Crowd: Superman! Superman! Superman! Superman!
Superman: Always here for Metropolis. Oh, yes.
Kara: Hey, guys.
Babs: Kara! That was amazing!
Jessica: You just saved the entire city!
Zee: And talk about a spectacle! Brava!
Kara: Yeah. I guess it's good that someone pays attention in chemistry.
Karen: But it was you who saved the day!
Kara: And it was him that got the credit.
[crowd cheering]
Crowd: Superman! Superman!
Diana: You chose the greater good over glory. You should be proud.
Kara: Thanks, Diana. I learned a very valuable lesson. Always bring your own camera.
Diana: [sighing]

Shock It To Me[]

[theme song playing]
[key jingling]
[lock clicks]
Lois Lane: [gasps] Leslie Willis. I see you let yourself in. Again. What brings you by?
Lesllie Willis: Just saving your newspaper, Lois. I've got an idea that'll make it at least somewhat readable.
Lois: Make it fast. I got deadlines.
Leslie: Picture this. A gossip column written by yours truly.
Lois: Not a chance.
Leslie: What? Why not? Worried I'll upstage the puff pieces you write? Saving cats. Seriously?
Lois: Look, Willis. You got spunk, gumption, bravado, all qualities of a great reporter, but gossip columns are too mean, and not to put too fine a point at it, so are you. Anything else?
Leslie: [groans]
Lois: [slurping]
[electricity crackling]
Lois: [yelps]
[camera shutter clicks]
Leslie: [laughs wickedly] Too mean, eh, Lois Lame? Well, the public loves mean, and I'm gonna give 'em all they can handle.
[beeping]
Leslie: [snickering]
[electricity crackling]
[camera shutter clicks]
[electricity crackling]
[thuds]
[electricity crackling]
[door slams]
[camera shutter clicks]
[beeping]
[bell ringing]
[electricity crackling]
[camera shutter clicks]
Garth: [sniffles] You deserve better, buddy. [groans]
[electricity crackling]
Garth: [screams]
[girls laughing]
Diana: Poor Garth. Why on the name of Hera do you laugh?
Babs: Because it's funny.
Diana: "Funny"? Is this what the world of man finds humorous? This suffering of others?
Zee: [chuckles] Oh, it's just an embarrassing moment, Diana. We all have 'em.
Diana: And we are all hurt when we are mocked and ridiculed. Mankind is better than this.
Boy: Hey, look! It's Lois Lame.
[laughing]
Leslie: Hey, Lois. Bet you wish you had a gossip column now.
Lois: Ugh!
[electricity crackling]
Leslie: [laughing]
[all laughing]
[girls whistling]
Leslie: Hmm.
[elevator dings]
Leslie: Oh! Things are looking up. Or should I say, down.
[crackling]
Leslie: [laughs mischievously]
Diana: The warranty stated these would withstand vigorous activity, but they did not withstand infantry training.
[people screaming]
Diana: [grunting]
[crowd cheering]
Leslie: Out of the way!
[woman grunts]
Leslie: What's your problem, lady? You ruined my shot!
Diana: Your shot? It is you! You are the one behind these videos! Well, contrary to what you may think, I believe that your inter-web theatrical comedy is in fact a tragedy, and mean in spirit.
Leslie: "Mean in spirit"? [gasps] Golly Gee Wilikers! And to think all those poor losers on my website who keep getting laughed at over and over again. What was I thinking?
Diana: Well, I am pleased you have seen the error of your ways.
Leslie: Tell you what. Why don't you and the other super hero girls watch my, uh, inter-web theatrical comedy tonight for an extra special announcement... Just for you.
Diana: Indeed we shall.
[captivating music playing]
Leslie: Hey everyone out there in Leslie Land. Tonight I've got a special announcement to make. Someone so thoughtfully pointed out my channel is mean in spirit. So therefore I'm retiring. And handing over the site to new management! I'd like to introduce your new host...
[crackling]
[thunderclap]
[crackling continues]
[thunderclap]
Leslie: What up, Metropolis? The name's Livewire. And you thought what Leslie was doing was mean in spirit. Well, you ain't seen nothing yet. I'm gonna supe things up. As in super-prank, super-laughs, and super-humiliation. And Wonder Whiner and the Superhero Girls, just try and stop me!
[crackling]
Diana: That did not go the way I expected.
Kara: Ha! Seriously? Ms. Swak Jock thinks she can scare us? Now that's funny.
Diana: Hmm.
[rock music playing]
♪ I'm gonna crush you
♪ And I'll enjoy it, too
♪ I wanna bring you down
Kara: [guffaws]
♪ Humiliation's cool
♪ And cruelty's how I want to rule ♪
Kara: [whoops]
[all laughing]
♪ Watch me go
♪ With a million volts
♪ With a million volts
♪ A million volts
♪ A million volts
♪ A hundred thousand volts of lightning ♪
♪ Pointing at yourself
♪ Oh, did I make you sad?
♪ I feel really bad
Zee: [shudders]
♪ Maybe we should call your mom ♪
[crackles]
Babs: [screams]
♪ Too bad she can't help you
♪ Now you're weak against my awesome power ♪
♪ Don't turn your back
You'll never know when I'll attack ♪
♪ You won't see me coming, but you so will feel the zap ♪
♪ A million volts
Karen: [groaning]
Babs: "These videos are the best? SHGs are the worst? Bumblebee, funniest video ever?!"
Karen: [crying] And I'm never ever, ever coming out again! Ever!
Jessica: It's really not that bad, Karen.
[captivating music playing]
Leslie: Waddup, Metropolis? Livewire here with a major-razor invite to all my shockateers. Glen Morgan Square. Midnight. Come see my most epic prank yet. And Super-Lamo-girls, specially you, Wonder Wimp... [gags] You should come too. If you dare.
Jessica: [grunting]
Diana: Livewire dares challenge us again? Now that is funny! [chuckles] Tell me I am right.
[sigh wearily]
[indistinct chatter]
Diana: Sisters, why so frightened when so many have come to see us triumph?
Jessica: We're not frightened. It's just they haven't come to see us triumph.
Karen: They've come to see her make fools of us.
[clamoring]
Leslie: Waddup, Metropolis? You ready for the prank night of the century?
[crowd cheering]
Leslie: So you may be wondering what Livewire has in store for her beloved shockateers? Let's kick things off as the queen of mean memes unleashes some mean memes.
[all gasp]
Lesile: Ha! Explains her recycled outfit.
[all laughing]
Leslie: I guess Batgirl still needs training wheels.
[all laughing]
Leslie: [gasps] Look, everyone. We found the cause of greenhouse gasses.
[all laughing]
Leslie: Who wore it better? Zatanna or porcupines?
[all laughing]
[crackles]
Leslie: Looks like bees don't dance, huh?
[all laughing]
Leslie: But wait a minute. We're missing one. Where is Wonder Weenie? Did she have the guts to show up tonight? Come on, Livewire's calling you out.
Diana: Come, sisters, our enemy awaits. Huh? You hesitate?
Babs: We can't go out there.
Diana: Girls, you must believe in people's humanity. They are good. They could never laugh when faced with true suffering.
[wind blowing]
[indistinct chatter]
[snickering]
Leslie: Hey! Look who's here!
Diana: Livewire, your reign of cruelty and humiliation has reached its end.
Leslie: No, I don't think so. If anything, it's only just begun.
Diana: [grunts] [screams]
[electricity crackles]
Diana: Ow!
[all laughing]
Diana: [screaming]
[electricity crackles]
Diana: [grunting]
Leslie: [laughs wickedly]
[electricity crackles]
Leslie: See, Blunder Woman. The people love mean.
[all laughing]
Leslie: Hear them laugh? Laughing at you? You're just a joke to them. And now, it's time for the punch line.
[electricity crackling]
Leslie: [grunts]
Diana: [groaning]
[all laughing]
[all gasp]
Leslie: What's the matter, Wonder Weakling?
[all gasping]
[electricity crackles]
Diana: [screams]
[all gasp]
Diana: [groaning]
Leslie: [laughs wickedly]
[electricity crackling]
Leslie: Huh? [screams]
[all groaning]
Leslie: [grunts] You think your friends will save you? [laughs wickedly]
[all gasp]
[clamoring]
Leslie: [grunts]
[all groaning]
Man: Huh. That was interesting.
Leslie: [laughs maniacally] Huh? Hey, what gives? Why aren't you laughing? This is hilarious. Whatever, losers. If that didn't grab your attention, maybe this will.
[crackling]
[girl laughs]
Leslie: [gasps]
[camera shutter clicking]
Leslie: Stop it. Stop laughing.
[crowd laughs]
Leslie: Stop laughing at me! [yells]
[crackles]
[beeping]
Lois: "Later, losers. You haven't seen the last of Livewire."
[beeps]
[crowd cheering]
[camera shutter clicks]
Leslie: "Shocker in Glen Morgan Square. Bully gets what for." I'll show those losers. Just wait till I get my shockateers to... My shockateers!
[beeps]
Lesile: Where are they going? "Click here for an even better site"? Ugh!
[captivating music playing]
Leslie: [yells] Seriously?
[theme music playing]

She Might Be Giant[]

[theme song playing]
♪ When super me
Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically
Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side ♪
♪ Look out, world
We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together
Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow! ♪
[bell ringing]
Karen: Ah!
Doris Zeul: Hey, Beecher. Heads up.
[both laughing]
Karen: Oh, um, hi, Doris. Fancy meeting you here while I was taking the extra, extra long way to Chemistry class.
Doris Zeul: Hey, I went to Chemistry class once. I know where that is. Tell you what. Why don't we escort you.
Karen: Uh, you guys? Um, this isn't actually the Science building.
Doris Zeul: [mockingly] "This isn't the Science building. You see, Beecher, that's your problem. You irritate me. You bug me. You're a puny little insect.
Leslie Willis: And you know what Doris does to bugs... She squashes them.
Yeah.
Doris: Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?
Karen: Okay, Doris, very funny.
Leslie: You thought that was funny? Maybe you need a little time to yourself to think about how comedy works.
Doris: Yeah. Get in there and think about how comedy works.
Karen: Wait. I can do it myself. That's the fifth time this month. I don't get it! What did I ever do to her?
Babs: Nothing. Psychological profiles of bullies suggest they always target the small and weak. Sorry. I meant the small and... awesome? Apple?
There's nothing awesome about being small, believe me.But that's all gonna change after today.
Leslie: You need some new material, Doris. "Why are you hitting yourself?"[grunting]
Doris: Whatever. It's classic. [grunts]
Leslie: [laughing] A meathead falling on her keister? Now, that's classic.
Doris: Shut it, Leslie. Uh, ever heard of knocking, dweebs?
Mrs. Zuel: Uh, Daddy and I are leaving for the science conference now, okay?
Doris: [mockingly] "The science conference, okay?" Fine! Whatever!
Mrs. Zuel: Have fun with your sporting activities, sweetums. Love you.
[car door opens and closes]
[engine starts]
Doris: I gotta pump up.
[suspenseful music playing]
Doris: [chuckles softly] Yeah. [grunts] Pumped up!
Babs: Ladies and other ladies, may I present to you the new, the improved,
Bumblebee! [humming fanfare music]
Zee: Karen, it is simply divine.
Diana: Battle armor befitting a true warrior.
Kara: It looks awesome, kid. What's it do?
Karen: Well, um, we've added these thin film photovoltaic modules to make the suit solar-powered.
Babs: Plus, they make her look like a bee.
Karen: I modified the wing mechanism so there's a more dulcet tone to the way they buzz.
Babs: Like a bee!
Karen: And we're working on quartz prisms in the goggles that will emit an electrical sting.
Babs: Like a cute little bee.
Karen: Which leads us to my biggest upgrade yet.
Babs: [hums musical fanfare]
Karen: [sighs] Here goes.
[suspenseful music playing]
[orchestral swell]
[orchestral swell deflates]
Zee: Um... Yay?
Kara: Yeah, you shrunk... differently?
Karen: Oh, no! I thought we finally fixed the growth tech. I'm not supposed to shrink, I'm supposed to grow.
Zee: Aww, but you're so cute small.
Karen: Cute and useless. How am I supposed to stand up to the bad guys when I'm just a... puny little insect?
Babs: It's okay. I bet we just inverted the zeta thingy when we had to cross-wire that other thingy because we were out of those thingy thingies. Remember?
Karen: Yeah. Maybe.
Diana: Then let us procure the correct thingies.
Babs: Quick trip to the mall, and we'll have the whole thing sorted out.
Zee: Well, as much as I hate to miss a trip to the mall, my father and I have a show tonight.
Jessica: And I'm protesting the show for using animals.
Zee: Oh, cool. We can share a cab.
Jessica: Hey, don't worry Karen. I know you'll get it.
Karen: All right, then. Let's go.
Man: Hey, little lady. Lookin' for the yoga mats?
Doris: Free weights.
Man: Ah, free weights. For a dance aerobics class, I bet.
Doris: [growls]
Man: You look strong for a girl. How 'bout, hmm, oh, some three-pounders.
Doris: Do I look like I want three-pounders?
Man: [gulps]
Babs: Ready! Step!
Diana: Huzzah! I survived the mechanical staircase.
Babs: [gasping] The new Gotham glory line of cowls are in! Eee!
Kara: Yeah, while you guys do your nerd stuff, I'm gonna go grab some chili fries. Come get me when you're done.
Diana: Lead on, young Karen. Let us do our nerd stuff.
[both gasp]
[people screaming]
Man: [yelling]
Diana: Great Hera. What is the cause of such mayhem?
Doris Zeul: Puny man. How dare you insult Giganta?!
Man: [yells]
Doris Zeul: Now all shall feel my wrath!!! [grunts]
Diana: Citizens, clear the area. We shall dispose of this brute. Come, Karen. To battle.
Karen: But my suit, it's not...
[Diana yells]
Karen: ...ready.
Diana: [groans]
Doris: [laughing]
Karen: Uh... where is it?
[rock music playing]
[both yelling]
Karen: Ow! Come on, Karen. Focus.
Diana: Oh, no. Ha. Let us see how you stand up to the Lasso of Truth.
[both grunting]
[Doris grunts]
Diana: The Lasso compels me to tell the truth. This is humiliating.
Karen: Where's that 20 ohm resistor?
Kara: Seriously? Hey, meatbrain!
Doris: Huh?
Kara: Over here.
[both grunting]
Kara: [yells] That all you got?
[Kara yelling]
Doris: [laughing maniacally]
Babs: [gasps] A fight! Tennis, anyone? Yes.
Doris: [grunts]
Babs: Whoa.
Karen: There. That should do it. Dang!
Babs: [grunts]
Doris: [knuckles cracking]
Babs: Eh, deuce?
Doris: Strike!
Karen: [gasps] Hurry, Karen. This is all on you now. Let's do this.
Doris: [laughing]
Karen: Hey, you!
Doris: Huh? Hmm. [feet thudding]
Karen: Why don't you pick on someone your own size?
[inspirational music playing]
[music deflating]
Karen: Oh, come on! No, no, no, no, no, no! I... I'm alive. And it's all because... I'm a puny little insect! Time to sweat the small stuff.
[Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov's "The Flight of the Bumblebee" playing]
Doris: [giggling]
Karen: Talk about a little fish in a big pond. Note to self. Upgrade stingers. Eek!
Doris: [grunts]
Karen: Hey, why are you hittin' yourself?
Doris: [screaming]
[car alarms blaring]
Karen: Did I do that?
Kara: Nice work, kid!
Diana: You have done Athena proud, young Karen.
Babs: Growth tech, smowth tech!
Karen: Ha-ha, yeah, I... [swooning]
Doris: [laughs] Hey, Beecher, heads up. Huh?
Doris: Hey, give me back my ball.
Karen: Why don't you come and get it, meathead?
Doris: [growls]
Karen: Crud! [laughing]
[theme music playing]

Fight At The Museum[]

[theme song playing]
♪ When super me Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side ♪
♪ Look out, world We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow! ♪
Selina: [purrs] [meows]
[alarm blaring]
Selina: A purr-fect fit.
[sirens approaching]
Selina: [chuckles softly]
Shaggy Man: [growls]
Diana: This creature relies on animal instinct, which means we must use our advantage by flanking to the--
Kara: Time's up, let's do this. Supergirl! Yah!
Shaggy Man: [groans]
Kara: [laughs] What?
[robot growling]
[people screaming]
Diana: We must be wary of his weapon. It appears to be capable of great surges of electrical--
Kara: Y'all are way overthinking this. Supergirl! [yells] [chuckles] What? Supergirl!
[thudding]
Jessica: You guys wanna hit up Sweet Justice?
All: Yeah, all right.
Kara: What?
Zee: Enjoying yourself?
Kara: Yeah.
Zee: You've been, uh, enjoying yourself a lot lately, haven't ya?
Kara: [gulps] Oh, you mean how I've totally been rocking it?
Diana: Kara, we must talk.
Kara: [grunts] Why you gotta ruin everything with nerd stuff?
Diana: Your methods in our recent bouts have been... effective, but over time, it is strategy and teamwork that will win the day.
Kara: Strategy and teamwork? Oh! You mean "overthinking it." All right, fine. If I beat all those monsters, I can definitely beat you.
Selina: Tea with cream. Hold the tea.
Karen: I don't believe it. They've got a Treasures from Space exhibit at the Science Lexplorium.
Selina: Whew.
Karen: Wow. Gemstones from far reaches of the universe! They must be worth a fortune.
Selina: Ooh, a fortune, eh? [purrs]
Diana: You are now in check, Kara. This is why you must learn to think strategically, to anticipate my next several moves.
Kara: Why would I need to anticipate your moves when I can just do... this?
Diana: [gasps]
Kara: Mm. Checkmate. Did you anticipate that?
[punk music playing]
Punk Girl: That was so killer! My ears are still ringing!
Kara: Yeah. Mine, too.
[glass breaking]
Kara: [gasps] What kind of criminal breaks into this place? Captain Nerd Face? Should I... Nah. They'll just overthink it. All right, nerd. Show yourself.
Selina: Only one of you? [chuckles] Here I was, fretting my heist might go south if the Super Hero Girls showed up. But lucky me. I just got the dumb one.
Kara: Dumb? Okay, listen, whiskers If I'm so dumb and I'm gonna catch you, then what does that make... [softly] you?
Selina: Catch me and find out. [meows]
Kara: Here, kitty, kitty.
Selina: Here, dummy, dummy. [chuckles]
Kara: Hmm. Ha! [groans] Stand still! Give it up, Puss in Boots. All I gotta do is get my hands on you, and it's game over.
Selina: Ooh, a game. Cats love to play. [meows]
Kara: Whew.
Selina: Poor thing. The weight of the world is on your shoulders. [meows]
Mars, Saturn, Jupiter, Neptune, Uranus, Pluto. Planet or no? Ah, who cares? [laughing maniacally]
Kara: [grunting]
Selina: So long, Solar Sister.
Kara: [grunts angrily]
Selina: [laughing maniacally] [meows]
Kara: Huh? Hmm.
Selina: The family resemblance is uncanny.
Kara: [growls angrily] Dang it. Huh?
Selina: [chuckles mischievously] Hope you like calamari.
Kara: Ew! Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!
Selina: [laughs]
Kara: That's it! I'm not playing around anymore!
Selina: I am.
[metal clanking]
Kara: [grunting] [grunts] [grunts]
Selina: [humming tauntingly] [giggling]
Kara: [in high voice] I've had just about enough of you! You can't [low voice] make a fool out of me! [growls in low voice] [normal voice] Oh, come o--
Selina: [meows] Looks like I'm the cat who got the cream.
Kara: I'm so mad I can't even think of more cat puns!
Selina: [screeches] Please, stop! Don't you know you shouldn't corner a cat?
Kara: I'm gonna corner you, and then I'm gonna un-corner you, and I don't even know what that means! So, who's the dumb one now?
Selina: Still you.
Kara: [grunts] Wha... What is that?
Selina: Oh, this old thing? Just a chunk of your home planet. Apparently, it sucks away all of your superpowers. Haven't heard of it? It's called Kryptonite. Poor little mouse. You walked right into my trap.
Kara: [grunting]
Selina: Such a purr-fect plan, if I do say so myself. You see, Supergirl, I knew this little beauty would be your greatest weakness. Just like I knew you would be the one coming tonight. I knew you'd hear me smash the skylight. I knew you wouldn't see what was inside that lead-lined case. And I knew only you would be strong enough to smash it. In a way, we're sort of... partners in crime. Don't you think?
[cell phone beeps]
Selina: Ah-ah-ah. Only two partners in this caper. Here's your cut of the loot. I'll just have to make do with the rest. Ta-ta, my dear. [laughing maniacally]
Kara: I can't... believe this is how it's going to end. Powerless, friendless, surrounded by nerd stuff... Wait... I'm surrounded by nerd stuff.
Diana: You are now in check, Kara. This is why you must learn to think strategically, to anticipate my next several moves.
Kara: [grunts] Yes! Checkmate, sucker!
[thud]
Kara: [yells] Ow! Why does pain hurt so much? How do people live like this?
Selina: I think I'm gonna like it here. Gotham City was nice, but this place is the cat's meow.
Kara: Going somewhere?
Selina: [hisses]
Kara: Catwoman, I'd like you to meet my real partners. My friends. Who were, like, really nice to save my butt after I've been such a jerk lately.
Selina: [meows]
Babs: Whoa!
[horns honking]
Kara: Yeah, she does that.
Selina: Hmph. Now I have to get a new bag. And then, I've gotta get some new friends.
[theme music playing]

From Bat To Worse[]

[theme song playing]

♪ When super me
Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically
Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side ♪
♪ Look out, world
We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together
Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow! ♪
Jessica: Where do you want this lamp?
Babs: Oh, over there.
Zee: dnoura sith evlover ["around this revolve" with each word reversed] Well, what do you think?
Babs: I... [yelling] LOVE IT! It's even better than my old room. I'm starting to think Metropolis just might, sort of, possibly be kind of a little bit better than Gotham. [squealing]
Jessica: Whoops, looks like we forgot one.
Is something wrong?
No.
It's just that I'll never forget that beautiful summer's day in Gotham city.
[people screaming]
[cat meowing]
[helicopter whirring]
[gasps]
This is it, Bat Knight, old buddy, old pal.
Tonight we show Batman what we got.
Tonight, we cannot be denied.
Tonight, we finally join
Team Bat.
Batman, this is
Commissioner Gordon.
We're on our way, but you may have to stop the robbery on your own.
Not if I can help it.
[grunting]
[gasps]
[dramatic music playing]
Wait, come back!
You forgot your new teammate.
He's already got a teammate, twerp.
Oh! What's that?
[sarcastically]
Is that your little dolly?
Bat Knight's no dolly, he's my side-kick.
My back up.
[yelling]
He's the bomb!
[laughs sarcastically]
[sarcastically]
"Da bomb!"
Face it, bat shrimp.
Batman don't want no little baby girls crampin' his style.
So why don't you just go home and play with your little dolls?
[laughing]
Barbara, what are you doing here?
Dad?
It's okay, honey.
Oh, this is all my fault.
I never should have agreed to work in such a horrible, crime-ridden place.
But Dad--
Someday,
I'm gonna get you outta here, Barbara.
Gotham City is no place for a family.
How did Robin get to be
Batman's sidekick?
He's not even on theme.
So, after that, I worked and practiced and studied, improving my skills to get
Batman to notice me.
But then, we moved away before it could happen.
And now...
And now you have us!
And a girls night out at Sweet Justice.
Oh, man!
You two go without me.
Mom's working late, and in this house that means...
[woman singing]
♪ Princess Pumpkin Pants ♪
♪ Heiress to the crown ♪
[all singing]
♪ She's got a grin that's saccharin ♪
♪ And sweetest in her town ♪
Oops, forgot the popcorn.
Can't have daddy-daughter date night without popcorn.
[chuckles]
No, it's okay, Dad.
[sighs]
[phone blaring]
O-M-Jeepers, is that the Batphone?
[squealing]
[yelling]
Dad! Dad, phone!
Dad! Dad, phone!
[loud popping]
[blaring continues]
[grunting]
Commissioner Gordon here.
What's shaking, Batman?
[Batman speaking indistinctly]
Uh, could you repeat that, Batman?
I'm all old and stuff and my hearing's not so good.
[Robin]Batman says there's a big-time villain headed your way.
A Gotham villain,capisce?
At the Metropolis pesticide plant.
You gonna give us back-up or what?
[Gordon]
You want butter on your popcorn, Pumpkin Pants?
No, thanks.
[Robin]What was that?
[clears throat]
That was me, I call myself
Pumpkin Pants sometimes.
Anyhoo, gotta go.
See you there.
This is it, Bat Knight, old buddy, old pal.
Tonight we're gonna show
Batman what we got.
Tonight we cannot be denied.
Tonight we join...
[Gordon]
Popcorn time!
[yawns]
Gosh, I'm pooped all of a sudden.
I might turn in early.
But what about daddy-daughter date night?
It was a good one. Good night!
But...
You love
Princess Pumpkin Pants.
[dramatic music playing]
[phone blaring]
Batman? Wait.
What are you talking about?
[sighs]
All right, but hurry up.
I've got dishes to do.
[car starting]
If we pull this off,
Bat Knight,
I see big opportunities in our future.
I see glory, I see...
Dad?
[man on stereo]
Communicating With Your
Teenage Daughter,chapter one.
So, your little girl is growing up.
Does it seem like she's avoiding you?
Look around, she may be closer than you think.
[grunts]
[squealing]
[man on stereo]
It's quite common for your teenage daughter to look for ways to avoid you.
[yelling] Watch out!
[engine accelerating]
[engine spluttering]
Whoa!
[man on stereo]In the end, she'll find her way back.
Chapter two,
Missing The Obvious.
[coughing]
[slow instrumental music playing]
[gasps] Oh, come on!
[engine accelerating]
[beeping]
Sorry, Dad, I love you, but you're totally smothering me.
[engine accelerating]
[rock 'n' roll music playing]
Batman's not here yet.
Score!
He won't believe his eyes when he shows up and we've taken care of it.
[dramatic music playing]
All right, villain.
Show yourself!
[rumbling]
Huh?
[gasps]
Whoa!
[grunts]
[gasps]
Poison Ivy!
How curious.
For a moment there
I could have sworn you were Batman.
Really? Was it the costume specifically, or the ninja skills, or...
Put her in the ground, my lovelies.
[venus flytraps snarling]
[venus flytraps screeching]
[yelling]
[roaring]
[groaning] Huh?
Sorry, but I gotta make like a tree and leave.
[dramatic music playing]
Race you to the finish "vine."
[grunting]
Seriously?
[whimpering]
[dramatic music playing]
[gasping]
Leave me alone!
[whimpers]
Where are you, Batman?
Where are you, Bat signal?
[Poison Ivy]
That silly little thing only shines in the polluted skies over Gotham.
I tried to save that toxic cesspool, but Gotham is lost.
Nothing green will ever grow there again.
I can still save
Metropolis, though.
Return it to the glorious forest it once was.
Would you like to know how?
[glass breaking]
By destroying all the pests!
[grunts]
Humans are vermin in the garden of life.
Locusts, termites, cockroaches!
I'll exterminate them all.
[sighs in exhaustion]
Nothing can stop me.
Not even a silly little girl in a costume.
What's this?
You bought your dumb little dolly to fight me?
You're even sillier than I thought.
[cackling]
He's not a dolly.
[yelling]
He's the bomb!
[dramatic music playing]
[beeping]
[grunts]
[yelling] No!
[beeping rapidly]
[coughing]
My darlings, what has she done to you?
[breathing heavily]
Huh?
Not bad for a silly little girl and her
dumb little dolly.
[groans]
[Batgirl whistling]
[engine revs]
[gasps] Batman!
[gasps] Dad?
Uh, I mean...
[in deep voice]
Hi, Commissioner Gordon.
What's shakin'?
Batgirl? What are you doing here?
Oh, you know, just nippin' some crime in the bud.
[groaning]
[cell phone ringing]
Hello, Batman.
[Batman speaking indistinctly]
No, don't worry. Everything's been taken care of.
By Batgirl.
Yes, that's right.
Ivy's in custody.
Thanks to Batgirl.
So you don't need to come.
To see Batgirl.
Uh, all righty then,
I'm going home.
Thanks for the help, Batgirl.
Ah, you're welcome, Dad.
[in deep voice]
Uh, I mean, dad of some lucky kid.
If you have a kid, of course.
'Cause I would never know such information.
I wonder why you're not Batman's sidekick.
I always thought you were way more capable than that Robin twerp.
He's not even on theme.
[dramatic music playing]
Ooh!
Do me a favor.
Don't mention this to Batman.
[amusing instrumental music playing]
Everything okay,
Pumpkin Pants?
Yeah, Dad. Just loving daddy-daughter date night.
Me, too.
[music continues playing]
[both singing]
♪ Princess Pumpkin Pants
Heiress to the crown ♪
♪ She's got a grin that's saccharin ♪
♪ And the sweetest in her town ♪
[theme music playing]

Crushing It[]

[theme song playing]
♪ When super me Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side ♪
♪ Look out, world We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow! ♪
Diana: [grunts]
Kara: Calling it now... Lady Hamsters ain't losing a game this season...
Babs: Whoo-hoo!
Kara: ...with Diana on the team! Boom!
Diana: [grunts]
Jessica: She's going to crush it tomorrow on debate team. The other day, the topic was "paper or plastic."Diana shut everyone down with reusable canvas bags! Yeah! Pow!
Karen: Dudes! She's my science fair partner on Wednesday! We're gonna kill it with some crazy ancient Greek alchemy! Bam!
Babs: Ooh! Ooh! And on Thursday, she's gonna lead the marching band into leading the football team to world domination! Kapowee!
Zee: Oh, yeah? Well, she's gonna bring down the house as Juliet in the spring play on Friday. My directing debut will be an absolute triumph! Ba-ba-ba-boom!
Diana: [grunts]
[buzzer sounds]
[everyone cheering]
Girls: Go, Diana!
All: [cheering]
Kara: Diana's got the week of her life ahead of her. I mean, can anything stop her?
Diana: [grunts]
[door opens]
Diana: [gasps]
♪ When he walks in
I can barely breathe ♪
♪ He's so beautiful
Beyond belief ♪
[all gasp]
Jessica: What?
Kara: Way to jinx it, Karen.
Karen: Me?
[crowd gasping]
Babs & Jessica: Ooh!
All: Aww!
Diana: [thuds]
Kara: Ow!
[thudding]
[crowd gasping]
[buzzer sounds]
Kara: So, that happened.
Jessica: Diana? Diana?
Diana: [groaning]
Babs: Incoming!
Diana: [gasping] What... What happened?
Babs: You were being totally amazing like usual, and then that boy walked in, and suddenly, you were being totally not amazing!
Diana: Boy? You mean... Steve? Incredibly handsome, alluring, more-beautiful-than-Adonis, Steve?
Karen: Uh, yeah, I guess that was him.
Diana: But why would Steve affect my performance? I barely know him. He's only the first boy I ever saw when I arrived to the World of Man from Themyscira.
Zee: Oh, this is gonna be good.
Diana: After a long and arduous journey across the seven seas, I touched down on the sands of this new world. [grunts]
Steve Trevor: [whistling]
Diana: And there he was. Steve Trevor.
Steve: Oh, hey, a nickel.
Diana: I had only heard the legends... But to see in real life... A boy... Naturally, I offered him my hand in friendship. It was quite congenial. [laughing embarrassingly] It is no large deal.
Kara: It's no big deal.
Diana: Yes. That.
Steve: Hey, Diana. I thought that was you in the game. Great to see you again. And your pals here, too. Hi.
Diana: [giggling]
All: Hi.
Steve: Hey, listen, since we're buds and all, I wanted to share the big news. I didn't get into the military academy like I wanted, so it looks like I'll be right here at Metropolis High with all of you! [chuckles] Go Hamsters!
Diana: [giggles] Hamsters!
All: Go Hamsters.
Steve: Well, I better be off. Lots of extracurriculars to check out. See you later! Oh, great game, Diana.
Diana: [giggling] Your game is-- okay, Steve, bye. [stuttering] Okay, later, 'k? I don't know. Whatever.[swoons] [grunts] Wait, oh, I'm sorry. Oh, oh! Oh, no! [yells]
Zee: This is not good.
Jessica: The Amazons prepared her for everything. Except talking to boys.
Karen: I remember my first crush. It was brutal.
Babs: [gasps] Do you know what this means? Steve Trevor is Diana's kryptonite.
Kara: Hey, guys, let's get one thing straight: Kryptonite is kryptonite. It's extremely painful, and awful, and that dude is not kryptonite. Besides, this is Diana Prince we're talking about. She can handle anything.
Diana: [grunting] [yells] Oh! And so, just as a battalion of warriors must approach an enemy encampment via an over-ground pass, so, too, must toilet paper hang in the over position. Thank you.
[all cheering]
Jessica: Got this in the reusable bag, suckas!
Diana: [gasps]
Jessica: [grunts]
♪ Can't find the words For how he's making me feel ♪
♪ Could this be... ♪
Steve: Well, gee, I guess I don't really have strong opinions on how you hang your toilet paper. If you're an "over" kind of guy, who am I to judge? But if you're an "under" dude, well, you know, that's okay, too.
Diana: [dopey giggling and clapping] Oh, Steve, I have never heard such eloquence. You're so smart. Is he not smart, everyone?
[crickets chirping]
Boy: [coughs]
Diana: I concede.
Jessica: [screams]
Diana: It was noble Hemera, goddess of the daytime, who bestowed the Philosopher's Stone upon my people. We honor the shining light of her sun by transforming the base metal of our armor into pure, shimmering gold.
Karen: This is incredible! With your knowledge of ancient chemical processes, we'e totally gonna win! Uh, Diana. Uh, Diana.
♪ Can it be, really real ♪ ♪ Is it love... ♪
[explosion]
[all screaming]
Boy: [coughing]
Diana: [dopey giggling] [wheezing]
Karen: [sighs]
[cheering]
[band playing]
Diana: [whistles]
♪ In his eyes, do I see love? ♪
♪ Or just surprise ♪
Diana: [whistling]
[band playing]
[crashing]
[cat screeches]
Diana: [whistling]
[dogs barking in distance]
[soft murmuring in audience]
Diana: O, Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo!
Zee: She's amazing.
Diana: Deny thy father...
Zee: This play is amazing.
Diana: ...and refuse thy name.
Zee: I'm amazing!
Karen: [whispering]
Zee: What? But he's supposed to be on stage right now!
Oliver Queen: Unacceptable! You call these pantaloons? If I cannot play an authentic Romeo, I shall play none at all!
Zee: [scoffs] Who needs you, anyway? I've got Diana. And an understudy. Garth? Garth, where are you?
Steve: Garth is sick.
[both gasp]
Steve: Under-understudy Steve Trevor reporting for duty. [whistling]
Zee: Remind me to banish Garth to the 27th dimension.
Diana: Romeo, doff thy name, and for that name, which is no part of thee, take all myself.
Steve: [squeaky footsteps approaching] Um, I take thee at thy word. Call me but love...
♪ Can't find the the words ♪
♪ For how he's making me feel ♪
♪ Can this be real? ♪
Babs: Kryptonite.
Kara: [grunts]
Babs: [hisses]
Steve: "With love's light wings did I o'erperch these walls..."
-♪ ...really real... ♪
Steve: "...for stony limits cannot hold love out.And what love can do, that dares love attempt." [softly] Uh, I think we're supposed to kiss now.
[kettle whistling]
[explosion]
[creaking]
Steve: [grunts]
[audience gasping]
Jessica: Look on the bright side. At least this week is over.
Aiden: I never wanted to love her, Alexandra, but she's the most important thing to me now.
Babs: [munching]
Diana: [groaning]
Aiden: -The most important thing to me ever.
Jessica: Oh, my goodness! Diana, are you okay?
Diana: [sighs] I do not know what ails me. I cannot eat. I cannot sleep. And my stomach is full of something akin to the fluttering of butterflies. The cause of this illness is a great mystery.
Kara: That's it! We're taking you out and getting your mind...
Diana: [exclaims]
Kara: ...off of "Mr more-beautiful-than-Adonis."
All: [shout] Yeah!
[brakes screech]
[cat meowing]
Diana: [gasps] [mumbling]
Steve: Oh, hi, Diana. Hi, Diana. Hi, Diana. [echoing] Hi, Diana. Hi, Diana.Oh, hi, Diana. Hi, Diana. Hi, Diana.
Diana: [cooing] [giggling]
Babs: Incoming!
Karen: Is this how she's gonna be from now on?
Babs: I don't know. Hey, Kara...
[bucket thuds]
Babs: Is this what happens to Kryptonians, when they're repeatedly overexposed to--
Kara: [grunts and yells] Gah! Stop with the kryptonite, already!
Diana: [cooing]
Kara: Come on, lady, snap out of it! You can't let some boy do this to you! You're an Amazon warrior. You're Wonder Woman! You're literally a symbol of female empowerment!
Jessica: Leave her alone, Kara! Poor Diana is entitled to her feelings. This crush is natural and normal. And she'll deal with it on her own time, and in her own way.
Diana: That's crazy, Steve. I like vanilla, too.
Babs: Or, we could just take out Steve Trevor.
All: [agree]
Karen: Let's take him out.
Steve: [whistling] [whistling]
[phone ringing]
Steve: Hello? Jeepers, I got into the Military Academy after all? Neato! How about that?
[disconnect line]
Steve: [continues whistling]
[keyboard clacking]
Babs: What? I took him out. By hacking into the Military Academy and getting him accepted. What were you guys gonna do?
Diana: [grunting]
[audience cheering]
[buzzer sounds]
All: [cheering]
Kara: Thank goodness we don't have to worry about that Steve Trevor guy anymore.
Babs: You mean Steve Kryptonite?
Kara: Let me explain this to you one more time. It's simple. Kryptonite is from the planet krypton!
Zee: Come on, Diana, hurry up.
Diana: I am nearly ready.
[theme music playing]

Misgiving Tree[]

[theme song]
[typing]
[printer whirring]
Jessica: Well, it looks like people are finally starting to read my "EnviroBeat" column. What?
Babs: [slurp]
Zee: Oh, Jess, sorry, but your column might just be a lost cause.
Jessica: [grunt] There's no such thing as a lost cause! That's literally the name of my latest article. You could have at least recycled, you animals! Huh?
Boy: [sinister laughing]
Jessica: Don't you dare!
Boy: [grunt] [laughing]
[growls]
Boy: [gasp] Ugh.
Babs: [slurping]
Jessica: That poor girl. No one to eat lunch with, no one to talk to...No friends, at all!
Babs: [slurp] Oh, Jess! Poor unobservant, unperceptive Jess. Don't you see her hair carefully placed to hide the face? The downward direction of the gaze. The oversized baggy clothes, that tuck her away from society. [chuckle] It doesn't take a super sleuth like me to figure out Pam Isley doesn't want friends.
Jessica: Nonsense! Everyone wants friends. Pam just hasn't met the right one...
Zee: Oh, no, Jess, please don't.
Jessica: ...yet.
Kara: Dude. Seriously, leave it alone. Pam Isley's a lost cause.
Jessica: There's no such thing as a lost cause.
[all groan]
Pam: [sniffing] [gasp] [whimpering] [sobbing] [sniffle]
Jessica: Hi! So, is this your plant?
Pam: This is Phil. He complains if I leave him home alone with the rhododendrons.
Jessica: Oh! How fascinating! I have a peace lily at home who wilts when I forget to water him.
Pam: Do you mind? Phil and I would rather eat our lunch alone. Photosynthesis is most optimal in silence.
Jessica: Oh! [chuckle] I know how that is.Silence is so silency. I love silence.
Pam: Come on, Phil. There's more sunlight out in the quad.
Jessica: Bye! See you around school, friend. That went well.
[fizzes]
Jessica: Oh, hey! What are the odds we'd end up as lab partners, huh?
Pam: I have an agreement with the teacher that I don't do lab partners.
Jessica: Come on! It'll be such a blast! [coughing]
Pam: "Roses are red. Violets are blue. I would really like to be best friends with you." Ugh!
Jessica: [scream] Hi, Pam!
Pam: [shriek] Violets are not blue! That is an unfounded stereotype!
Jessica: [gasp] I love your shoes! Are the soles sustainable rubber?
Pam: [grunt] [panting]
Jessica: Hey! You wanna...
Pam: [panting]
Jessica: ...come help with the community garden this weekend?
Pam: [scream in frustration] Leave me alone!
Jessica: It'll be fun! It's all organic!
Kara: This has gone on long enough, right?
Jessica: Hi, I'm here to help with the...orphaned puppies?
Zee: Jess, we need to talk.
Jessica: Where are the puppies?
Diana: The puppies were a clever ruse. Kind Jessica, it may not be apparent to you, but, Pamela is not exhibiting signs of receptiveness to your amicable advances.
Jessica: What do you mean? We've been chatting all day. We're becoming quite close, actually.
Zee: [yell] Jessica! Wake up and smell reality! She's just not that into you.
[door opens and shuts]
Babs: That went well.
Jessica: Please, please, just take one, please! An ancient tree is about to be destroyed. Knocked down for another LexBucks coffee house! [sigh] Allow me. [sigh]
[paper rustling]
Pam: Is this true? It says you're going down there to try and save the tree.
Jessica: Yup. It probably doesn't matter but I am.
Pam: Can I come?
Jessica: [excitedly] Yes, yes! Oh, my gosh! Yes! I mean, cool. Yeah.
Pam: So, what's the plan?
Jessica: The plan? One, two, three! We love trees! One, two, three! We love trees! One, two, three! We love trees!
Pam: Tomorrow?
Jessca: We shall not! We shall not be moved! We shall not! We shall not be moved! ♪ Just like the tree That stands ♪ ♪ Where the LexBucks Is now planned ♪ ♪ We shall not be moved ♪
Pam: [groan]
Jessica: ♪ For the land of the tree ♪ ♪ And the home of the... ♪
Pam: All right! All right! Stop!
I'm sorry, Pam. I know I got the day wrong but we're still going to--
Pam: Shh! Do you hear that?
[chiming]
Pam: I've been waiting all night, and now, he finally speaks.
Jessica:Um, who?
Pam: Him. He wants to tell his story.
Jessica: Oh, uh, well, that's interesting.
[wind blowing gently]
Pam: He came here, no more than a humble seed... Carried from across the land by a sparrow.
[sparrow chirps]
Pam: The soil welcomed him. He was only a sapling in those days. He never dreamed he'd grow as big as the others. But he did. He cared for his neighbors...
[squirrels chitter]
[birds chirping]
Pam: Providing them homes and nourishment. Centuries passed...
[rumbling]
Pam: He grew as wise as he was magnificent, until one day, he became the king of the forest.
Jessica: Wow! Pam, that was beautiful.
[wind blowing]
[magical chiming]
Pam: And then, the monsters came. They drove off the animals. They murdered all the king's subjects.
[blades swinging]
Pam: They ripped up the earth. Buried it under concrete. They destroyed every last remnant of his kingdom... Leaving him eternally... alone! All he wanted was to protect his forest. Now, he's the one who needs protection.
[engines revving]
Jessica: [gasp] Oh, no!
[engines running]
Jessica: Hang on, Pam! This is the moment we've been waiting for!
[rumbling]
Jessica: [gasp]
Men: Whoa!
[rumbling]
Jessica: Pam, get out of here! [sigh] [grunt] Oh! [grunt] [gasp] Poison Ivy, what are you doing here?
Pam/Poison Ivy: Reminding these people of their place in the world!
[all yelling]
Poison Ivy: I don't know where you came from, but, stay out of this.
Jessica: [grunt]
[indistinct shouting]
[saw whirring]
Pam: [grunt]
Jessica: [grunt]
[machine whirring]
Jessica: I won't let you hurt them, Ivy.
Pam: We'll see about that!
[men yelling]
Jessica: [grunt]
Pam: Oh, having trouble keeping up? Let's just finish this. Shall we?
Jessica: [yell]
Pam: [screaming] NOOOOO!!!
Jessica: Quick! Run!
[branches cracking]
Jessica: You could have KILLED those people!
Pam: You killed this TREE!
Jessica: [gasp] I-- I didn't mean to.
[branches creaking]
Pam: You're unworthy of the color of life, Green Lantern, and one of these days, you will pay.
[chainsaw whirring]
[engine roaring]
Pam: Three hundred years he reigned.
[sad music playing]
Pam: And they just didn't care. People are a lost cause.
Jessica: There's no such thing as a lost cause. Pammy, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Pam: Don't push it.
[theme music playing]

Illusions of Grandeur[]

[theme song playing]
♪ When super me
Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically
Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side
♪ Look out, world
We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together
Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow!
[audience cheering]
[dramatic music playing]
Thank you, thank you.
Please, a round of applause for my charming daughter.
Hey.
[cheering]
[laughs]
And now ladies and gentlemen, we've come to my final trick of the evening.
A trick so risky, so daring, that the squeamish among you may want to look away.
[gasps]
Tonight, I will make my lovely assistant... disappear.
[audience cheering]
Spirits beyond.
I summon thee here.
Heed my command.
Make this girl disappear.
Behold.
[audience exclaiming]
Oh, awesome.
[crowd] Encore. Encore.
Bravo. Amazing.
That was amazing, Zee.
I can't believe this is your life.
You're, like, a total star.
[sighs] Yeah, well...
And the fact that you've spent your whole life traveling the whole world entertaining people with your dad, it's so cool.
Hmm... Indeed.
You're seriously the biggest celebrity I know.
Maybe. But I'm about to be even bigger.
What do you mean?
[gasp] You're not leaving the act, are you?
What? Of course not.
That would break poor Daddy's heart.
But I am working on my own act.
One day people will know the name, Zee Zatara.
And that, my dear Karen, is where you come in.
What?
[groans]
[Zee clears throat]
[yelps]
Whenever you're ready.
[gulps]
[clears throat]
[Karen] Prepare yourselves ladies and gentlemen, for an experience unlike any other.
This is the great and powerful
Zee Zatara,
Princess of Presti...
Prestididge...
Prestidigitation.
Presti... tation.
[grunts] Prestidigitation.
[people exclaiming]
Huh?
[grumbles]
[people chattering]
Wow, Zee, he wears more eye shadow than you.
All right. Look, look.
Right here. Eyes on me.
Ready? Heads or tails?
Heads.
[gasps] Did you see that?
He totally switched hands.
[gasps]
[all exclaiming]
Ugh. A double-headed coin?
Really? How uninspired.
What's he going to do next, the detachable thumb trick?
[people exclaiming]
You have got to be kidding me.
[Ace of Spades] All right.
Pick a card, any card.
Go ahead. Go ahead.
Uh-huh. Okay, ready?
Watch this. Watch.
Ready? Wait for it...
Is this your card?
[sighs]
[thuds]
That isn't magic.
You're nothing but an overly-leathered, flimflam man.
See?
[all gasping]
He's turned them all into aces of spades.
He's incredible.
Ugh! That is not magic.
This is magic.
thearw srewolf ["wreath flowers" with each word reversed]
spriah ["hairpiece"]
naf yawa ["fun away"]
Ta-da!
Fake.
[tourist 1] You could learn a thing or two from Ace of Spades.
[tourist 2] I love his magic.
[tourist 3]
It's so raw, so real.
Raw and real?
Raw and real?
Oh, I'll give him raw and real.
Uh, Zee?
ees yvne sith ["see envy this"]
All right. Look.
Watch. Eyes on me.
Is this your card?
Ta-da!
Uh, that's not even a card.
What kind of magician are you?
[tourist 4] Lame.
So... who wants ice cream?
Uh...
[growling]
What?
[growls]
[exclaiming]
[yelps]
[all laughing]
Oh, my.
[all laughing]
[all screaming]
[children screaming]
So, uh, back there it was, uh...
I know.
A complete disaster.
No, I--
I just want to show the world what I can do.
[people screaming]
The kind of magician
I really am.
I just want to touch an audience.
Don't worry, Zee,
I bet someday you'll be known the world over as the greatest magician of them all.
You really think so?
Yeah. I really do.
[both screaming]
[both] Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!
[screaming]
Karen, what's happening?
Those faces.
Zee. Your spell.
My spell? But how?
My magic can't do something like...
But I was angry.
It was me.
This is all my fault.
What do I do?
What do I do? What do I--
Snap out of it, woman.
This is no time for crying, it's time for heroing.
You're right, Karen.
Let's teach these little monsters some manners.
Ew. Ew. Ew. Get it off.
Get it off. Get it off.
[screams]
Okay. Now it's time for heroing.
[laughs]
[screaming]
[laughing]
[buzzing]
[gremlins cackling]
Come on.
Dang it.
[all screeching]
[Bumblebee gasps]
[gremlins cackling]
[screams]
[all] Aw.
[gasps]
[baby laughing]
[growling]
[screaming]
[baby giggling]
Huh?
[gremlins cackling]
Help!
Zatanna! Help!
Get me out of here.
Back. Little to the right.
A little more.
Would you shush, you're distracting me.
Ugh.
Just fly out of there.
Just teleport me.
Oh, yeah.
[crashing]
[gasps]
What do we do?
They're just so dreadfully evil.
[both whimper]
[both laughing]
Wait a minute.
What if they're not?
What if they're just having fun?
Look at them, Zatanna.
They're just trying to entertain themselves.
Well, if it's entertainment these gremlins want, it's entertainment they shall have.
And that, my dear Karen, is where you come in.
Prepare yourselves, ladies and gentle-monsters, for an experience unlike any other.
This is the great and powerful
Zee Zatara, princess of prestidigitation.
Yeah.
All right, you little beasts, who'd like to be entertained?
[all chattering excitedly]
[giggling]
[all exclaiming]
[whimpers]
[grunts]
[all] Ah!
[gasps]
[exclaims]
[all] Ah!
And now we've come to my final trick of the evening.
A trick so risky, so daring, that the squeamish among you may wish to look away.
I will make my lovely assistant... disappear.
Wait, what?
Trust me.
Uh...
Lovely assistant.
Now watch closely, my fiendish friends...
[all grunting]
Spirits beyond,
I summon thee here, heed my command, make this girl disappear.
Behold.
[all cheering]
Now, do I have any volunteers from the audience?
[laughs]
Hmm.
snilmerg ib enog ("gremlins be gone" with each word reversed)
[panting]
Ta-da.
You did it. It worked.
Fake.
[groans]
[sighs] Why do I even try?
Because how else are you gonna be the greatest magician the world has ever known?
Karen, you're the best assistant a magical girl could ever ask for.
[theme music playing]

Beasts in Show[]

[theme music playing]
♪ When super me
Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically
Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side ♪
♪ Look out, world
We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together
Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow! ♪
[rock music playing over headphones]
That's weird.
[grunts]
Huh?
Hey, you met my dog!
Isn't he the best?
He was Dad's old police dog back in Gotham, but now he's retired, and that means he's all mine!
His name is Ace, but I call him
Ace the Bat-Hound.
Way better, right?
Oh, isn't he just the greatest dog in the entire history of the universe?
Uh-huh. He's great.
The greatest!
He's 26 inches at the shoulder, medium coat, finished first in his class at the academy, extremely intelligent, cleanly chiseled and noble head, four paws, super lovable personality, and the cutest wutest little fuzzy black nose!
Okay, [scoffs] no.
No, actually. He's not.
My old dog back in Smallville?
He was the greatest dog in the universe.
You know what?
Check this out. [whistles]
[thudding]
[Barbara squeals]
[panting excitedly]
Meet Krypto the Superdog.
The actual greatest dog in the universe.
This guy's got some incredible powers.
[rumbling]
[gasps] Earthquake!
Nope.
It's Krypto!
How's that for super strength?
Well, look at Ace.
He's so well trained, he didn't even move when the ground started shaking.
Who's a good boy?
[Kara] Dude, my dog can see through walls.
Whatever, Kara, anyone can see through walls.
Your dog can't.
[Krypto barking]
[car accelerating]
Uh, Kara?
Krypto, no! Krypto, get back here!
[panting]1
[growls]
[Barbara] Oh my gosh!
[man] Somebody help.
My wife's having a baby!
[both gasp]
[man] Oh, wait.
Never mind.
Mm-mm. That's his third delivery this month.
Krypto, no.
We are not playing fetch!
Speaking of nothing to do with fetch. [whistles]
Hey, Ace! Parkour!
[panting]
How's that for training, huh?
Who cares about training when you've got powers, like Krypto here.
Krypto, no! He's got acid--
[sizzling]
[scoffs] Big deal.
All dogs do that.
Watch this.
Krypto, fix hydrant.
Good boy, thy name is Krypto.
Your dog made that mess.
Ace is so well trained, he would never have ended up in that situation in the first place.
Well Krypto is so powerful, who cares what situation he ends up in?
My dog is clearly better.
My dog is clearly better!
There's only one way to settle this.
[commentator]
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to fabulous Shuster Arena for what is sure to be the cultural event of the season.
The 44th Annual Metropolis
Kennel Club Dog Show!
And we'll kick things off with a very difficult obedience trial.
A failure here would be disastrous.
[panting]
[chuckles] Disastrous is right.
I can almost smell that "Best in Show" ribbon.
[exhales]
Okay, Ace. Com--
[laughs] Oh, yeah!
Who's a good boy?
He's a good boy.
[commentator] Well, that was a remarkable display of training and obedience.
It's going to be quite difficult for anyone to top that.
[growls]
And next up, we've got this lovely boy, Krypto.
Krypto?
Yes, well.
After what we just saw with Ace, the pressure is most definitely on.
[exhales] Okay, Krypto, get ready.
And... Com--
Krypto, no. No, bad dog.
No. Krypto.
Krypto, no! Bad dog!
[growling]
Krypto. [grunting]
Oh, my. This behavior is so far below MKC standards.
Krypto. [grunts]
[panting]
Krypto!
[groans]
Krypto, sit.
[barks]
Heel!
[slurping]
[grunts]
[both yelp]
[commentator] Next up is the flyball course.
A thrilling test of agility and skill.
[whooshing]
[commentator]
What a performance by the German shepherd.
Really a remarkable-- Oh, no.
Here we go again.
Krypto will show us how not to do the flyball course.
What's this? I've never seen anything like it.
It almost looks like he's flying over those hurdles.
Good boy, Krypto.
[audience cheering]
Good boy, indeed.
Looks like this competition is getting fierce.
[Barbara grunts]
[whistle blows]
[laughs triumphantly]
[all cheering]
Woo-hoo!
[camera shutters clicking]
[audience cheering]
[gasps loudly]
[sneezes]
[growling]
[commentator] And now, we've reached the deciding event.
The crowd-favorite freestyle competition with the "Best in Show" title on the line.
The pressure couldn't be more intense.
This is it, Ace.
Focus, Krypto.
No matter what...
[both] Don't let anything distract you.
[woman] Run!
[all screaming]
[both growling]
[chuckling]
Oh. Aw, I love you, Lucy.
I love ya, too, Ethel.
You're the sweetest little pooches I ever stole.
[screeches]
Whoa!
[both barking]
Aw, poochies, where ya going?
[dainty instrumental music playing]
[whimpers]
Come here, Ace, we can still get that coat shinier.
Krypto, one last brush and you'll get the win for sure.
No, this is Ace's show!
Krypto's gonna win!
Such a moving performance.
How could this possibly get any more exciting.
[both growling]
[screaming]
Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for Waffles, the Pomeranian!
What's this?
[whimpers]
An unexpected twist at the end of the routine!
[both arguing]
[both growling]
In all my years of dog show commentating,
I have never seen a freestyle routine as thrilling as this tasty little treat
Waffles has cooked up for us.
But wait! What's this?
[all gasping]
It's a whole new element to this freestyle routine!
Bravo, Waffles! What a show!
It's the standoff of the century!
[growling]
[growling and cackling]
[howling loudly]
Way to turn up the volume. [gasp]
Oh, yeah, it is on!
[barking]
[barking]
[whimpering]
Booyah! Strike, baby!
[growling]
I don't think
I'm emotionally prepared for what's gonna happen next.
[thudding]
[rumbling]
[yelps]
[both yelping]
What amazing special effects!
[glass shatters]
[slurping]
Huh?
Lucy! Ethel!
Aw, poochies, what have they done to ya?
[both whimpering]
[all cheering]
[laughing] I've never felt so alive!
[gasps and grunts]
[yelling]
[commentator] You want a winner, folks,
I'll give you a winner.
I couldn't be more clear.
Ace!
Krypto!
The winner for the Best in Show
Metropolis Kennel Club
Dog Show is...
Waffles!
The Pomeranian!
[audience cheering]
[both] What!
Come on!
Even Kara's slobber bag of a space dog is better than that!
Yeah, and so is Babs' broken-down, dead-inside, rule-following, dog-like statue thing!
[whistles]
You know what, Kara,
Krypto really should have won that dog show.
Who says you need discipline to be a good boy?
No way, Ace totally owned it.
You definitely don't need powers to be a good boy.
[both panting]
They're both good boys, aren't they?
The best boys.
[cat meowing]
[screeches]
[Ace and Krypto barking]
No. Bad. Bad boys.
No. Bad boys.
Bad boys!
Bad boys!
[theme music playing]

Gotham Con[]

[theme song playing]
♪ When super me
Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically
Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side
♪ Look out, world
We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together
Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow!
[Harley] Out of my way!
You, shove over!
Babsie-wabsie!
Leenie-beanie!
[both]
Gotham Elementary, grade number two.
Gotham Girls, Gotham Girls, sounding off for you.
Barbara Gordon!
Harleen Quinzel!
Besties through and through!
Aw, I've missed you so much since you moved away,
Babbly Boo!
Are you ready for the best villain convention in the world?
You mean the Annual Convention of Gotham City Enthusiasts, the best hero convention in the world?
Well, duh!
But it's all the way across town!
That means we're going to have to walk through...
[both] Gotham City!
[upbeat music playing]
♪ Today is one of those days
♪ Skipping away
Filling the streets
With laughter ♪
♪ See what we wanna see
♪ Be who we wanna be
♪ Happily ever after
♪ Feet on the ground
Head in the clouds ♪
♪ What's better than now?
♪ In the city we love
♪ We push and we shove
♪ So we won't miss
A single thing ♪
♪ In the city we love
♪ There's never enough time
For all the frolicking ♪
♪ Some adventure might
Come our way ♪
♪ Around the next corner
Or alleyway ♪
♪ Carefree, floating above
♪ The city we love
♪ La, la, la, la, la
La, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la, la
♪ In the city we love
♪ La, la, la, la, la
La, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la, la
♪ In the city we love
[both] Ooh!
Ah!
Ooh!
[screams excitedly]
[laughs maniacally]
This is it, Babs!
The actual steamroller used by the Joker in his infamous
Crushin' Christmas caper!
This is my Annual Convention
Of Gotham City Enthusiasts thing this year!
The one thing
I wanted to see more than anything else!
Hey! What's your thing to see at the Con this year, Babbles?
Something Batman-y,
I suppose?
Mmm. Mmm-hmm.
"Surprise Special Guest"?
I thought you said it was Batman.
Of course it's Batman.
He's the most special guest you can get!
I've been working on my
Q&A question for weeks.
He's sure to be impressed!
And maybe even more!
[announcer] Welcome to the Annual Convention...
[gasps]
...of Gotham City Enthusiasts!
Are you ready to meet our very s pecial guest?
[crowd cheering]
Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for...
Batman!
Robin!
What?
[heroic music playing]
[crowd cheering]
And then Batman looks at me and he says, "Thanks, Robin.
Thanks for being so darn awesome."
[audience clapping]
[Robin] All right, who's got questions?
This is it! Your thing!
Go ask your question!
Uh...
So, um...
[mic feedback whines]
[meekly] I had a question for
Batman, but...
There's nothing that guy knows that Robin don't, all right? [chuckles]
[audience laughing]
Okay. Batman.
I mean, Robin.
When investigating a crime, a good detective will uncover dozens, if not hundreds, of facts.
What techniques do you employ to differentiate the...
[snoring]
What'd you think you was gonna do, impress Batman with some smarty-pants question?
And then what, he'd be so impressed he'd be your best pal?
And, oh, I dunno, maybe make you his new sidekick or something?
[laughs heartily]
[all laughing]
[laughter continues]
[laughter distorting]
[growls angrily]
[laughing maniacally]
[panting]
[laughter continues]
Hey, uh, I just remembered another thing I wanted to do at the con.
Meet at the coffee cart at 4:00, okay?
[gasps] Harley Quinn!
[crowd gasping]
Cosplay contest is later, little goil. Security!
[grunts]
Robin!
[maniacal screech]
Whoa!
Stay outta my way, Bratgirl,
Robbyboy's got what-for coming, and I'm the one who's gonna give it to him!
Well, that sounds awesome!
But I'm gonna stop you anyway.
[both grunt angrily]
[Batgirl straining]
[speaking indistinctly]
[blows]
[floor rumbling]
[grunts]
Ugh. I am so beat.
[slurping noisily]
Ugh. Tell me about it.
[slurping]
Did you get to do that thing you wanted to do?
[slurps]
Eh. No.
The Annual Convention Of
Gotham City Enthusiasts totally stinks this year.
[spits] What!
Harleen, just because the Annual Convention
Of Gotham City Enthusiasts was ruined for me,
I can't let it be ruined for you!
You gotta go do the thing!
If not for yourself, do it for me!
[man] There he is!
There he is!
There he is!
[crowd cheering]
You're right, Babs.
This Con ain't ruined yet.
And I got a sneaky feeling that it might even turn around for you.
That's the spirit.
[slurping]
[vehicle roaring]
[Harley laughs maniacally]
Oh, no! Robin!
Get out of the...
[Harley continues laughing]
Oh, Robin!
This is all my fault!
[sobbing]
I'm so sorry!
[wailing]
Oh, my!
What has happened?
He's gone.
He's really gone.
Yeah, but that's the clown who humiliated you, right?
I thought you'd be happy.
[wails] Happy?
Sure, he's a jerk.
And he did embarrass me.
But I didn't wish his untimely demise!
[sobbing]
Oh, I feel awful!
[Harley] Oh...
[Robin] Outta my way!
Coming through!
Robin?
Cosplay Contest starts now, chumps!
And your boy Robin's gonna do what he does best, judge you.
[all cheering]
He's alive!
He's alive?
Stop hoggin' the cutout!
Cutout?
Isn't it wonderful,
Harleen?
He's alive! He's alive, he's alive, he's alive!
Huh. Who knew?
[gasps]
Uh-oh.
[camera shutters clicking]
Outta my way, losers!
Forget it, Harley Quinn!
I won't let you hurt him!
Wait! I'm actually trying to save the yutz this time!
[exclaims]
Their costumes are so cool!
They're totally gonna win.
[grunting]
[yawning]
[crowd clamoring]
What da heck is this?
[both straining]
[both] Huh?
[both gasping]
Huh?
[screaming]
[punches thumping]
[man] Is that a bomb?
[all screaming]
[screams]
[grunts]
[panting]
[people exclaiming]
[grunting in panic]
[Harley] Over here!
[Batgirl grunts]
[grunts]
Huh?
Whoa!
[door opens]
[door slams shut]
Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb.
[exclaiming]
[blowing]
[gasping]
[whimpering]
[Batgirl] Harley!
[Harley grunts]
Hold this.
[exclaiming]
Huh?
[crowd cheering]
[Harley laughs maniacally]
Aw, Babbles, I'm sorry the Annual Convention Of
Gotham City Enthusiasts wasn't what you hoped for this year.
So I gotcha something.
Aw, Harleen!
You shoul...
...dn't have?
I didn't realize what a big Robin fan you were until I saw you blubbering all over his body. Ha!
So I tracked him down and got it for ya.
Sign it! Sign it now!
[whimpering]
[chuckles]
Oh, Leenie-Beanie, you're the best.
See you next year!
[chuckles]
Maybe sooner if we're lucky,
Babsie-wabsie.
[theme music playing]

DC Super Hero Boys Part 1[]

[theme song playing]
♪ When super me Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side ♪
♪ Look out, world We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow! ♪
Jessica: Just like the others. We've got a tagging crew on our hands.
Karen: [groan] That's six so far. They're spread all across the whole city.
Zee: And now they've defaced Metropolis' most iconic landmark.
Diana: Vile fiends. We Amazons recognize when a rival clan intends to invade.
Kara: Yeah! Creeping in on our turf?
Babs: Not on our watch. Unless my bat-sleuthing skills deceive me, these tags seem to be appearing at specific times in specific places. If I can just triangulate these coordinates, we'd be able to predict where the crew is gonna strike.
Karen: Metropolis Shipyards.
Babs: Touche, Bumblebee. Touche.
Karen: Which is in... [scream] [gulp]
Kara: Sinister Slum.
Jessica: It's seedy.
Zee: It's filthy.
Karen: It's scary. [scream]
Babs: [wistfully] It's just like back home... [grunt]
Karen: We're here.
[birds squawking]
Karen: And if my calculations are correct, the new tag should show up any second. Right in... here!
Babs: Uh... anybody see a light switch?
Karen: [gasp] What was that?
[all gasp]
Kara: Ooh, I'm so scared. Seriously, you guys, these punks are no match for-- [grunt]
[all gasp]
Kara: I'm okay, I'm okay...
Diana: Prepare yourselves, sisters, for these are no petty criminals. To battle!
[all screaming]
Diana: [grunt]
Karen: [whimpering] [screams]
Carter: [growl]
Karen: Eek! Eek!
Babs: [yelling] Ooh.
Zee: [yelling]
Jessica: [grunts] [yells]
Diana: Ah, the lasso. A wise choice.
[all gasp]
Babs: That was weird.
Kara: Wait a second... [gasp]
[all gasp]
Jessica: Green Lantern?!
Hal: Green Lantern?
Jessica: What are you doing here?
Karen: And why do you have the same name as her?
Hal: Uh... it's like, super complicated.
Zee: Hold on. You know these ruffians?
Jessica: I know that ruffian. But I had no idea he belonged to a vicious gang of vandals.
Hal: Ha! We're not a vicious gang of vandals. We're a vicious gang... of heroes. Green Lantern!
Man: Yeah.
Barry: The Flash.
Oliver: Green Arrow.
Carter: [squawk] Hawkman. [squawk]
Hal: Super Hero Girls, meet the--
Garth: And Aqualad.
Barry: Oh, um, hey, Aqualad. Maybe a couple beats faster next time, okay?
Oliver: This is why rehearsal matters.
Hal: Super Hero Girls, meet Da Invincabros.
[airhorns blaring]
All: Yo bros!
Kara: So... you're the Super Hero Boys.
Hal: No, Da Invincabros.
[airhorns blaring]
All: Yo bros!
Hal: And we just caught you taggers red-handed.
Diana: Deceiver. It was we who subdued you!
Hal: Us? We're not the taggers, we're investigating the taggers. [scoff] Sheesh, what's up with your friend, Jessica?
Jessica: Ah! Ix-nay on the ame-nay, Al-hay...
Garth: Wait a minute... Jessica... Cruz? From school?
Jessica: Well, it was a real nice secret identity while it lasted. Thanks a lot... Hal!
Babs: [gasp] Hal Jordan? The dumb jock?
Hal: That's me.
Zee: [gasp] It is you.
Oliver: Oh, don't be so bland and overly dramatic. [gasp] Wait. Bland and overly dramatic? Zee Zatara! My onstage nemesis.
Zee: And you are?
Oliver: Behold! It is I.
Zee: Uh... yeah, I don't, uh, should I know?
Oliver: Oliver.
Zee: [inhale] Sorry, I just... I meet so many people...
Oliver: O-Oliver Queen? I was Tristan to your Isolde? Seriously, how can you not remember me?
Zee: What? Batgirl is Barbara Gordon?
Babs: Hey...
Barry: Barbara Gordon? No way. You mean, uh... Candy-Cake Triple Ripple Tower with rainbow sprinkles Barbara Gordon?
Babs: Barry Allen, from--
Both: [excitedly] Sweet Justice!
Barry: Yeah, it's totally me.
[indistinct chatter]
Karen: I'm Karen Beecher!
Hal: Uh, who's Karen Beecher?
Karen: Um, me? Bumblebee?
Oliver: Who's Bumblebee?
Karen:[groan]
Kara: Ugh! This is taking too long. The birdie is Carter Hall, emo guy, spends all his time in shop.
Carter: [grumbles]
Kara: Water kid is the water boy for the football team, Garth what's-his-name.
Garth: [gasp] How could you tell?
Kara: Your mom writes your name on the inside of your clothes.
Garth: Aw, Mom!
Kara: I'm Kara Danvers, Wonder Woman is Diana Prince.
All: Oh, yes, makes sense.
Barry: Yeah, that makes sense.
Jessica: So wait. If you guys aren't the taggers...
Hal: And you girls aren't, then--
Diana: Whoever is has taken us for fools. Behold.
Barry: Whoa!
Oliver: Oh, irony. You cunning mistress.
Zee: Oh, yeah. Now I remember you.
Diana: Enough! Bumblebee, can the Oracle inside your phone device predict where the next mark will appear?
Karen: Uh-huh. Right here!
Diana: Comrades... We must set aside our differences and find the real villains. Together we could be an unstoppable army of heroes, but only under the right command. From birth I have trained in the Amazonian art of war, where my courage was forged in the flames of battle. Allow me to lead us, and we will surely triumph!
Hal: Uh, look, you got a great outfit, but no thanks.
Diana: Very well. Then we shall not share the location. So there.
Hal: Yeah, no offense, we already kind of have a leader... And he's done all sorts of cool war junk, too. So...
Kara: [laughter] Really? Was his courage forged in the flames of battle?
Hal: Well, uh, actually he goes to a military academy, so that's basically the same thing.
Babs: Military academy?
Steve: Hello?
Babs: [gasp]
Steve: Sorry, I'm late. I tried taking the rapid bus, but I guess it can only go as fast as traffic, right? [laughter] Oh, well, live and learn, live and learn. Oh, hi, Diana. What you got there?
Diana: [nervous laughter]
Steve: The LexBucks by Centennial Park?
Garth: Yes! Steve Trevor does it again.
Hal: Well, looks like we'll be the ones solving this case, ladies.
Kara: Oh, yeah? Not if we get there first.
Carter:[growls]
Kara, Jessica, & Zee:[hostile snarling]
Kara:[hostile snarling]
Hal:[growls]
Babs:[hostile snarling]
Diana:[nervous giggles]
Kara: Hey!
Barry:[chuckles]
Babs: They seem nice.
Kara: [grunts]
Man: [gasps]
[thudding]
Hal: Give it up, ladies. [scoffs] We got the Flash!
Jessica: [laughs] You also have the Flash's metabolism!
Barry: Gotta refuel. I'll catch up.
Babs: How many calories do you burn? In kilojoules. Is it mostly carbs? What's your basal metabolic rate? I have so many questions.
Hal: Ha! Double fault, Green Lantern.
Jessica: Don't know what that means, Green Lantern.
Hal: [grunts] Okay, can we stop this name thing? I'm Green Lantern. You're... Green Lantern Girl? Green Lantern-ette? Oh, I know, Green Lantern Babe!
Jessica: Ugh, you better hope I don't catch you.
Diana: I shall outpace you, Birdman.
Carter: [grumbles]
Diana: There's nothing you can do to stop me.
Steve: [grunts] Hey, sure beats the bus.
Diana: [chuckles nervously] "Bus."
Karen: I'll "bee" seeing you, honey. [laughs]
Carter: [growls]
Karen: [screams] Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Zee: Ooh!
Oliver: [humming and blows raspberry] [yelps]
Kara: Sheesh. Racing me. Seriously?
Garth: Well, well, well. Good evening, Ms. Danvers.
Kara: 'sup, kid.
Garth: I suppose Da Invincabros, Yo Bros, would want me to stop you.
Kara: I understand. Do your worst.
Garth: [grunt]
Kara:[scoffs] That's it?
Garth: Trust me, it would've been so awesome in the ocean... or, like, a big community pool.
[all panting]
Steve: Hey, hey, we all made it safe and sound. Yay us!
Diana:[sighs]
According to this the taggers' next target... is in this alley.
Hal: So, looks like it's a draw. Well done, Super Hero... Now!
[all grunting]
[indistinct chatter]
Zee: We were here first.
Babs: Look!
Hal: Hey. Ya know what I'm thinking? That that's not graffiti.
Garth: What is it?
Kara: Ursa? Non?
Zod: Kneel before me.
Kara: [gasp] Zod.
Alura Zor-El: Cover me.
Zod: Council member Alura Zor-El. Come to grovel before your new Emperor? Seize her, Non.
Alura: [growls] End your insurrection now, General.
Alura: [grunts]
Zod: Tell Jor-El and his men to stand down.
Alura: That was no bomb, Zod. All of Krypton is collapsing on itself.
Ursa: Do you really think a force field can hold us?
Alura: No. I don't. You'll all stand trial for your crimes. But until then... enjoy imprisonment in a Phantom Zone.
Kara: Mom?
Alura: Kara!
Kara: Who were those people? Where's Kal?
Alura: Don't worry about them, they can't hurt you where they're going. And your baby cousin is somewhere safe. Now it's time for you to join him.

DC Super Hero Boys Part 2[]

Ursa: People of Earth, this is General Zod, your new emperor. His planet, Krypton, is gone. He must find a new planet to rule. And well, this is it. So...
Zod: Kneel before Zod!
[all gasp]
Kara: Look, you guys, if we can't get these three clowns back through that portal before it closes, then we all better get used to kneeling.
Zod: Now, you miserable peons, all of Earth will suffer unless you bring me the heir to the House of El.
Jessica: Supergirl!
Zee: No!
Babs: What are you doing?
Kara: If it will save the people of Earth, I turn myself in.
Zod: And you are?
Kara: Are you-- Are you-- I'm Supergirl! Kara Zor-El? My mom sent you to the Phantom Zone!
Zod: Never heard of you. I want the son of Jor-El! Bring me Superman!
Kara: Kal? Why does this keep happening to me? Look, dude... Trust me, I'm just as good as Kal. So, zip your lip and take me prisoner. Or me and my gal pals are gonna kick your butts back through that portal!
Hal: No. We're gonna kick their butts back through that portal. InvinciBros!
InvinciBros: Yo, Bros!
Hal: Hike!
[woman exclaims]
Man: Yeah.
Hal: [yelling] [grunts] [groans]
Oliver: Ha! [whimpers]
Garth: [grunting]
Non: [gulp]
Garth: Uh...
Carter: [grunt]
Garth: [exclaiming]
Carter: [yelling]
Garth: [gasp]
[boys exclaim] [boys groaning]
Ursa: Well, boys, that was just very embarrassing for you.
Zod: [neck cracking]
Kara: What do you say we show these superhero boys how it's done.
Zee: Yeah! How is it done?
Kara: You, um-- You know, just-- And-- Get 'em!
[all yell] [girls exclaiming] [girls grunting] [all groaning]
Zod: If they will not bring Superman to us, then we must draw him out.
[people screaming]
Zod: The son of Jor-El has till the count of ten to kneel before me. One!
[people screaming]
Karen: Oh, no!
Zod: Two!
[people continue screaming]
Jessica: Supergirl, can't you just call your cousin or something?
Kara: Okay, okay, fine.
[dial pad beeping]
[line ringing]
Kara: It's ringing. He never picks up. He-- Hi, Kal! Kal, listen, you have to come home stat! Zod is back! Yeah, but the last time, I was joking. And this time, it's totally real! He's literally standing right in front of me!
[line clicks]
Kara: Kal, hello? Kal? Hello? Uh, bad connection?
Zod: Three!
[people screaming]
Babs: The portal is closing! What are we gonna do?
Zod: Four!
[metal crushing]
Diana: [giggling]
Karen: Wonder Woman, you have to snap out of it! We need you!
Zod: Five!
[metal smashes]
[people screaming]
Hal: I know what to do. Steve!I got a hankering for some donuts.
Steve: I am on it. [whistling tune]
Hal: [blows]
Jessica: Donuts? Really?
Diana: [whispering indistinctly]
Karen: Wonder Woman?
Diana: We Must work together!
Hal: All right, Wonder Woman, let's see some of that courage-in-the-flame stuff! You call the play and we'll follow. Right, guys?
All: Yo, Bros!
Hal: And girls.
Diana: First order, we pair up. And then we send these demons back from whence they came.
Oliver: Yoo-hoo!
Non: Hmm?
[rock music playing]
Oliver: [exclaims]
[squishing]
Oliver: [groaning]
Non: Ooh!
[metal creaks]
[people exclaim]
Babs: Hey, Ursula! Is everything in the Phantom Zone made of trash bags or just your outfit?
Ursa: Huh?
Babs: Ursula! Hey, Ursula, who did your hair? Calendar Man? 'Cause it's dated!
Ursa: My name is Ursa!
Babs: Ha! Nice shot, Ursula! Your aim is just as on point as your boots. [laughs] Missed again!
Ursa: [growling]
[squishing]
Oliver: [groaning]
Non: [laughing gleefully]
[people screaming]
Diana: [yells, grunts] [groans] [yelling, grunting]
Kara: [yelling, grunting]
Diana: [yells]
Garth: Um, Ms. Woman?
Kara: [yells and grunts] [groans]
Garth: Ms. Girl? I'm ready to help, just let me know when you want me.
Kara: Just stay there, squirt. Do not move from that spot.
Garth: Aw.
Karen: Hey, wait up. So sorry. [gasps] There's the Kryptonite!
[alarm beeping]
Karen: [gasps]
Carter: [grunting]
Karen: Oh, so, you want me to...
Carter: Hurry!
Karen: [exclaims] [grunting]
Carter: [continues grunting]
Karen: [continues grunting]
Barry: What's wrong, Wursa? This relationship moving too fast for you?
Babs: [blows raspberry]
Ursa: One the contrary. [inhales, blows]
Babs: Whoa!
Ursa: I find the pace glacial.
[applauding]
Zee: And now for the grand finale. [grunts]
Oliver: [groaning loudly] Oh, I am slain!
Non: [exclaims gleefully]
Zee: Ta-da!
Oliver: Not a scratch.
Non: [whines] [growls]
Zee: I think he expected some gore. Get back inside.
Oliver: Are you mad?
Non: [growling]
Zee: shinav ["vanish" backwards]
Diana: [yelling]
Zod: Enough!
Diana: [exclaims and groans]
Zod: [grunts]
Diana: [grunting, groaning]
Zod: You've lost, Kara Zor-El. All of Earth will kneel before Zod. Zod!
Kara: Oh, yeah?
Zod: Yeah. Now, kneel! [scoffs]
Ursa: Or run like a coward. That works, too.
[all laughing] [all coughing]
Zod: What? What's this? [gasps]
Karen: Oh, my gosh, you guys! I was all like, "Ah!" And he was all like, "Just go under the door." And I was all like, "Oh! Kryptonite! Whoa!" [laughs] Um...
Carter: [growling]
Karen: Oh, sorry, sorry.
Carter: [grunts]
Diana: Now!
Oliver: Ha! Huh?
Babs: [grunting] Hey, Ursula! You're looking a little green!
Ursa: [gasping and whimpering]
Non: Hmm? Grr!
Zee: Wait, what's that behind your ear?
Non: [groans]
Oliver: Thank you! You've been terrific. Ha!
Non: [yelping]
Diana: [yells]
Zod: [gasps] [grunting]
Hal: Dude!
Zod: Foolish children, even Superman knows that Zod is a force of nature. Only another force of nature stands a chance against me!
Kara: Good thing we got one of those! Hey, Aqualad! Heads up!
Garth: [yells]
Kara: Go for it, squirt!
Garth: [grunting]
Water Dragon: [snarling]
Zod: [yelling]
Kara: Ha! Take that, sucka!
Garth: Huh? [laughs]
All: [cheering]
Kara: We did it, Mom. We got him.
Steve: It was touch-and-go for a while I thought I was really gonna let you guys down coming back without sprinkles. But then the lady found some more in the back, and the day was saved.
Diana: [giggles] [sigh]
Barry: You know, when you really think about it, if Steve hadn't left to get those donuts, then Wonder Woman never would have had the idea to get the Kryptonite, and that "Kneel!" guy would have totally taken over the world.
Steve: Steve Trevor did it again!
Boys: Yo, Bros!
Girls: [annoyed groans]
[theme music playing]

Frenemies Part 1[]

[theme song playing]
♪ When super me
Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically
Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side ♪
♪ Look out world
We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together
Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow! ♪
[roaring]
[people screaming]
[all yelp]
[all gasp] Huh?
[Wonder Woman] The days of terrorizing this planet with your evil schemes are over, Starro.
After a long and perilous quest,
Bumblebee has located the Hatorei crystals!
Once these crystals are joined, we shall have the power to send you back to the dimension from whence--
[cell phone ringing]
Oops. Hang on.
Sorry, gotta take this.
-[beeps]
-Hello? Nah,
I can totally talk now.
Harleen. It's been for-evs!
[muffled speaking on phone]
Guess where you are?
Hmm... I don't know,
Gotham Zoo?
Gotham Comics.
No, Gotham Zoo.
[grunting]
[gasps] You're in Metropolis?
[gasps] You moved here?
[gasps] You'll see me in school tomorrow?
[gaps] I've never gasped so much in my life.
Oh, Harls, this is the best news since ever.
I can't wait to see you.
[thud]
[all groaning]
Hooray, you beat Starro.
No. Starro beat us.
Over and over again.
We only just managed to send him to another dimension.
[Zatanna] I hope that other dimension's okay.
Bottom line, we lost.
Well!, pfft.
We may have lost that but we won at life because... my best friend is moving to
[yells] Metropolis!
[Bumblebee sighs]
[yelps, groans]
[all laughing maliciously]
Hmm. It appears Selina Kyle has acquired some new friends.
Did somebody say
"New friend"?
No. I said, "New friends."
Plural.
Yay! Leeny-Beanie.
Babsy-wabsy!
[laughs maniacally]
Are you just getting here?
Gotta be fashionably late on my first day.
Everyone, this is Harleen, my GBFF.
Gotham Best Friend Forever.
Oh!
It is our pleasure to welcome you to--
[grunting]
[cackles] Ah! Hand buzzer.
Classic Harleen.
Isn't that high-larious?
You have not changed a bit.
Not true.
I got a new flower...
[glugs] Whoa!
...a new whoopee cushion and I got this here invisible ink...
Ugh! [annoyed grunts]
Oops. That's the one with the super permanent industrial ink.
Sorry.
Argh!
[laughs]
So funny.
But you got to save some jokes for after school
Harley-Barley.
Uh... after school?
Yeah.
I thought we could give Harleen a tour of Metropolis.
Doesn't that sound fun?
It would be our honor.
See youse all then then.
What are you doing?
I can't get that out with magic.
-She is cray-cray!
-The worst 20 seconds of my life and I've been to the Phantom Zone.
[inhales] It is our divine duty as hosts to offer hospitality to this new guest.
Plus, she is very important to Barbara for some reason.
Therefore we must make an effort.
[farts]
[laughs mischievously]
[grumbles]
[laughs mischievously]
What do those things do?
How come ya hit that button?
Which pigeon are you?
That one? That one?
-[chicken clucking]
-[beeping]
Hmm. Not very good, are ya?
[annoyed grunt]
[Harleen gobbling]
[exclaims in disgust]
[woman on screen]
The Legion is trying to keep us apart.
Uh... do you... do you like this series?
Love it.
That's why I read all the spoilers.
[whispering]
[cackles]
[bees buzzing]
You gotta manage your finances better, babe.
[grumbles]
So happy I can't feel pain right now.
Babs has to know what a disaster that was.
Whoo-hoo!
So? Best day ever?
Ah! I knew you'd love Harleen as much as she loves you.
Which is why
I booked activities for us for the entire next year.
Boop!
[cell phones beeping]
I know what you're thinking.
Why stop at one year?
We could do five years.
Boop. Or 50 years.
Boop. Ooh, we should make sure we get old and die on the same day, and can have one big besties gravestone.
I'll invite Harleen over and we can figure out what it'll say.
Um... you, uh...
You want to tell Harleen about our secret headquarters?
I do not believe that is prudent.
Super not prudent.
Huh? Why?
Um... because, because, um, because...
There aren't enough chairs.
-[Jessica] Aw, too bad.
-[Diana] Aw, too bad.
If only we had the chairs.
[Karen] Yeah.
Can't sit on the floor.
[Zatanna] So dirty. [chuckles]
Wait. Do you... not want to hang out with Harleen?
-Of course we do.
-Where did you come up with that?
-[Jessica] Oh no! She's great.
-[chuckles nervously]
Lasso of Truth!
How 'bout now?
-Harleen is the worst.
-Worse than a worst.
Just when I thought she couldn't get worse, she got worse.
I do not enjoy her company.
It's like if an evil scientist wanted to create the most annoying person ever, they still wouldn't come close to competing with her.
[gasping]
Harleen has been trying so hard to be friends with you guys and this is how you repay her?
Babs, we didn't mean--
Yes you did mean.
You meaned a lot,
You mean meanies.
And I'm sorry, but if this is how you're gonna treat my best friend, then, then, then... maybe we shouldn't be friends.
[all gasp]
-[Jessica] Babs, no.
-[Diana] Sorry.
We are so sorry.
[yelps]
[yelps]
Whoa!
Ooh, Babsie, look.
A Space Joker versus
Caveman Batman one shot variant cover.
What's the matter?
It ain't in mint condition?
Hey, Freckles, what kind of shop you running here?
No. It's not that.
It's just...
My Metropolis friends are being jerks and, and... we can't hang out with them anymore.
But it's okay.
It'll be just you and me against the world.
Just like it was in
Gotham City.
Aw, Babsie-Wabsie...
We can totally hang out, if that's what you want,
Or... we could go for a nice drive in the country with some girls I met.
It'll be fun
[grunts]
Home run!
Grand slam!
[all laughing manically]
You okay, Babsie?
-Yeah, sure...
-[bat thuds]
Um, just so I understand, we're destroying mailboxes so we can replace them with nicer, better mailboxes, right?
No! We're destroying them because they're wooden stumps of death that people stuff full of other dead trees.
Babs, honey, don't you listen to Pam.
We're doing this because it's fun.
[tires screech]
[all laughing maniacally]
Whoo-hoo.
Stop the car!
[brakes screech]
Sorry. I, uh... just remembered
I have, um...
I have a library book I... need to write for the library.
So people can read it.
Because you gotta have books for the library.
Otherwise, it's just a big empty building, I guess.
I think they bought it.
Okay, let me call my dad.
Maybe he can take us to the movies or something.
Babsie...
I, uh... don't wanna go to the movies.
Oh, well... what do you want to do?
Come on, these mailboxes aren't gonna smash themselves.
Sorry, Babsie.
I'll, uh, see ya tomorrow, all right?
Oh, okay.
[girls laughing manically]
All right, Harleen.
Your turn.
Smashing mailboxes is nice and all, but you wanna have some real fun?
[cackles]
Now that's how you smash a mailbox.
Not bad, Harleen.
But how'd you like to have some real, real fun?
[snarling]
[gasping]
Youse guys are villains?
Why didn't ya say somethin'?
[birds chirping]
[cackles]
[all laugh manically]

Frenemies Part 2[]

[theme music playing]
[dramatic music plays]
♪ It's cute you think ♪
♪ I think about
What you think of that ♪
♪ I care about your dumb opinions anywhere we go ♪
♪ We gonna do
Just what we want ♪
♪ We're on a mission ♪
♪ We're the ignition ♪
♪ Can't be outrun
Can't be outdone ♪
♪ Better recognize ♪
♪ Too much fun! ♪
♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪
♪ Too much fun ♪
-♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪
-[engine revving]
[tires screech]
♪ The light is red ♪
♪ And we don't wait
For the green ♪
♪ Wreckers gonna wreck
If you know what I mean ♪
♪ Can't be outrun
Can't be outdone ♪
♪ Better recognize ♪
♪ Too much fun! ♪
♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪
♪ Too much fun! ♪
-[cackling]
-♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪
-[howling]
-♪ Too much-- ♪
[soft instrumental music]
What do you guys call a carbonated beverage?
Soda.
[chuckles] We say pop.
What do you call a drinking fountain?
Bubbler.
We say water fountain.
What do you call bugs that light up?
Uh, fireflies?
Yeah, see, we say fireflies in Metropolis, too.
Everyone finished?
♪ Too much fun! ♪
♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪
-[car approaching]
-[muffled] ♪ Too much fun! ♪
-[engine roaring]
-♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪
[all] Nerds!
[cackling]
[tires screech]
Check, please.
Come, sisters, to battle!
Shouldn't we call Babs?
Batgirl will join us when she is ready.
[triumphant music plays]
[vibrato intensifying]
[whimsical music plays]
[upbeat instrumental music]
[heavy metal music plays]
[dramatic instrumental music]
[engine roaring]
[menacing music plays]
Did you honestly think this sort of antisocial behavior would not attract our attention?
Of course, we did.
Why do you think we did it?
[snarls]
[grunts]
[explosion]
Hmm.
[Giganta groans]
[grunts]
[grunts]
[shrieks]
Ha!
[grunting]
Looks like we're evenly matched.
Evenly matched?
Do not make me laugh--
Sure made me laugh!
[Harley cackling]
Meet Harley Quinn.
[goofy laugh]
She's fun.
[Giganta screams]
[Giganta groans]
[grunts]
Glad I could give you something to reflect on.
I don't get it.
[Bumblebee] Gotcha!
Here comes the SWAT team!
[gasps]
[Bumblebee screams]
Check out my new website, it's www.look-what-I-got.Bomb!
[cheerful music plays]
[all laughing]
[moans]
[sighs]
Oh hey, Babs.
What's up?
You just missed your friends.
You're right, Barry.
I do miss them.
Uh-oh. I know the blues when I see 'em.
Hey! Hey! Hey!
I got an idea.
Wanna try my latest ice cream concoction?
It's a jalapeno toffee twirl sundae!
Thanks.
[belch]
That's awful!
-Oh, uh, too much jalapeno?
-[belches]
Not enough toffee?
I knew it needed more salt!
No, no, I like the jalapeno.
And the toffee.
[belches]
I just can't deal with both of them at the same time.
Oh, well, maybe you can just enjoy
'em separately?
Like this. Or this? Or this?
[tense music plays]
[dramatic gasp]
"Maybe I can enjoy them separately..."
Yeah, that's what
I just said, remember?
I have to make a call.
-[grunts]
-[screams]
[both] Argh...
[groans]
[grunts]
Ha!
[cackles] Yeah!
[Catwoman laughs wickedly]
Looks like you've been declawed,
Super Hero Girls.
Harley, why don't you put an end to this cat and mouse game?
[mimics gun cocking]
[menacing music plays]
[cell phone rings]
Oops, hang on.
Sorry, gotta take this.
Hello, yeah I can totally talk now.
Uh, what, no, you can't just...
We're in the middle of something here!
Babsie, what's goin' on?
-[Giganta screams]
-[loud thud]
Harleen!
You're my jalapeno!
And my Metropolis friends are my toffee!
And I don't need to eat you both at the same time!
Babzadoodles, I love ya, but I got no idea what your talkin' about.
Don't you see?
You don't have to get along with my Metropolis friends.
And I don't have to get along with your Metropolis friends.
We can both still be best friends and do the stuff we like to do.
-Like go to the comic shop...
-Babsie?
...or go hang gliding,
-which I know we've never...
-Babsie...
...actually done, but I have this feeling--
-Babsie!
-[explosion]
Yeah?
There's no one I'd rather hang glide with than you.
-[explosion]
-Oopsie, gotta run.
Or like this.
Or, ooh, like this.
Uh, Barry?
I'm going to need those ingredients to go.
I have to find my friends.
What, you mean them?
-[explosion]
-[dramatic music plays]
[gasps]
[grunts]
Time to uneven the odds.
[Harley] Huh?
[all] Batgirl!
Ugh! Batgirl!
I thought I finally saw the last of you in Gotham.
What gives?
Miss my explosive personality?
[dramatic music plays]
In your dreams,
Harley Quinn!
In fact, I'm gonna make sure
I never see you again!
[both growling]
[screams]
[screams]
[siren blaring]
[gasps] The cops. Let's go!
Nuts to that!
-Hey!
-[Giganta grunts]
No, no. Please!
I was gonna hit her with this, and say I'm "board" with her.
[shrieks] Please!
You thought we was enemies in Gotham, Bratgirl?
Well, you ain't seen nothing yet!
[yells] Not by a long shot!
[gasps]
-Batgirl, I am--
-No, I am so sorry.
I am really, really, really sorry.
I shouldn't have ditched you guys and--
Wait. There's only one way to know that I mean it.
We are sorry as well.
And we are happy that you have returned.
Yeah.
No more splitting up ever again, okay?
Not with Catwoman and her crew out there.
Totally.
We need each other now more than ever.
Aw, I missed you, SBFFs!
Super Best Friends Forever.
Yeah.
[gasps] Ooh.
Harleen, I found it!
[Harleen] Issue six of the Gotham Crow limited series!
Finally!
Hey, what happened to your wrist?
[hesitantly] Oh, I, uh...
Gots the cord on the hair dryer caught on it.
[suspiciously]
What happened to your neck?
[hesitantly]
Oh, um...
I was, uh, also using a hair dryer and just got a little too close.
Hmm...
Hmm...
[aggressively] Hmm...
Hmm...
You know...
If I didn't know any better, I'd say...
That this is a brand spankin' new Joker vs. Batman imprint!
What?
Let's read it together right now.
See, why's the first panel always gotta be Batman?
And is his razor broken?
Why does he always have stubble?
Can't he make himself look presentable like the Joker?
Um... Excuse me.
The fact that he doesn't shave shows the commitment he has to the city.
He's not even taking time out for personal hygiene.
He cares that much.
[closing theme music plays]

Soul Sisters Part 1[]

[theme song playing]
♪ When super me becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side ♪
♪ Look out, world We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together gonna get that super life ♪
♪ Wow! ♪
[electricity buzzing]
[garbage cans rattling]
[cat yowls]
Old Lady: Phew. [cries out]
Robber: If you're thinking of doin' anything besides handing me your purse, trust me, it ain't worth it. [chuckles] Too easy.
[glass bottle rolls]
Robber: Who are you? One of them Super Hero Girls? [chuckles] All right, I give up, take me in. Doesn't matter, I'll be back on the street in a week. I said, I give up! [grunts]
Diana: En garde! Ha ha! Excellent work, Nathaniel!
Nathaniel: Are you kidding? I lasted two seconds.
Diana: Yes! And that is twice as long as last time! Does anyone desire a rematch?
Boy: [gulps]
Nathaniel: Sorry, Diana, I think we're all done losing for the day. I assume you're staying to train, even though you just beat the entire Metropolis Fencing Club?
Diana: You assume correctly.
Nathaniel: [chuckles] Turn out the lights when you're done.
Diana: Ah, greetings! Are you new to the club? I joined recently. I find the simulated combat most invigorating. Very well then. We shall let these do the talking. Your footwork is impeccable. You are using the Danpei technique, yes?
Fencer: I thought it appropriate, since I don't know your weaknesses. Now I do. Why are you smiling? I am clearly better than you.
To give the fencing club a chance, I fight left-handed. And I... am not left-handed.
Fencer: Well then. There is something I must tell you.
You are not left-handed either?
Fencer: No, I am. But there is something else that I am not.
[thud]
Fencer: Distracted.
Diana: Touche! Oh, it is so thrilling to finally experience a loss! You are incredible. Diana Prince.
Tastu: Tatsu Yamashiro. I just moved here from Japan. You are the first worthy opponent I have met.
Diana: You must teach me how to parry like that one day.
Tastu: How about now? Watch my left foot carefully...
[fencing grunts]
Diana: [laughs]
[sword clatters on floor]
Tastu: Great work! You are quick study.
Diana:You are an excellent teacher. By Cronus, where has the time gone? I must be going. But it would please me greatly if we could meet for a normal teenage activity. We could, uh... What do you do for amusement when you are finished training?
Tastu: I, uh, train more.
Diana: Ha! I as well!
[clash]
[school bell ringing]
Jessica: All right, it's settled. We are seeing Exploding Ninja Pirates from Outer Space IV. It has a good story for me, lots of special effects for Karen, great costume design for Zee, a ton of action for Kara, and Babs doesn't care what we see as long as she can sneak in a bucket of burritos.
Babs: Soon, my pretties! Soon! [kisses]
Jessica: You sure you can't come, Diana?
Diana: I apologize, but I have already made plans with Tatsu.
Kara: Oh, right, your mysterious training partner. Are we ever gonna get to meet this "Tatsu"?
Tatsu: If that is your desire.
[all yelp]
Babs: Wow, you just came out of nowhere.
Tastu: Yes.
Jessica: It's, um, nice to meet you. We've heard so much about you.
Tastu: Direct me to these rumor-mongers, I will ensure they never speak again.
Jessica: No! I meant, we've heard good things. From Diana.
Tastu: Ah, I see.
Zee: So! Where are you from?
Tastu: A place I can never go again.
[eagle calls]
Kara: [clears throat] Hey, uh, I didn't think it was possible, but Diana says you like training as much as she does?
Tastu: The strong are driven by discipline, not desire.
Diana: Is she not great?
[all chuckle awkwardly]
Diana: [chuckles] Is something wrong, Tatsu? You have not punched me in the face once.
Tastu: [sighs] I do not believe I made a good impression on your friends.
Diana: What do you mean?
Tastu: Ever since leaving home, I have had trouble fitting in. People always think I am strange or too intense.
Diana: One can be too intense?
Tastu: Exactly! You gave me hope that Metropolis would be different, but it seems that I am once again destined to be a loner.
Diana: I love my friends, but I must confess, I, too, often feel out of place in my new home, as though no one truly understands me. But you do. And if you understand me, and I understand you, then at least we have each other.
Tastu: I am glad for your friendship, Diana Prince.
Diana: And I yours. Now let us try most vigorously to injure one another!
Babs: I didn't hate it, it just felt like a set up for Exploding Ninja Pirates from Outer Space V.
Kara: [exclaims] Yo! Quiet for super-ears. The jewelry store!
Jessica: Should we get Diana?
Kara: No time. Let's do this! All right, loser! You picked the wrong night to... fall asleep mid-robbery?
[all gasp]
Jessica: Ah!
Karen: Is she...
Jessica: No, she's alive. I'm actually not sure what's wrong with her.
Zee: [chants spell] Okay, this isn't good. Someone used dark magic. I mean the real icky stuff to take her soul!
[all gasp]
Karen: Now what?
Kara: We really can't just leave her for the cops?
Jessica: They wouldn't know what to do. She'd be stuck like this forever.
Kara: Ugh, fine, but you do realize this is just like that scene in Exploding Ninja Pirates from Outer Space II. And remember how that turned out?
Jessica: The first thing we need is a safe place to keep her.
Babs: Oh, so we need to hide a body? No problem. I grew up in Gotham. Besides, it's just one measly body-- [yelps] [gasps]
Zee: You were saying?
Karen: Now, now what?
Jessica: I don't know about this. I'm not supposed to have friends in my mom's car, much less soulless supervillains. [gasps] Supergirl, stop that!
Zee: Is that my lipstick?
Kara: Sorry.
Babs: Relax, GL. Everything's gonna be fine. It's a short trip to my house, and besides, it's just two measly bodies-- [yelps]
Zee: I'm detecting a pattern.
Karen: Now, now, now what?
[car engine starts]
Babs: So we have to hide three bodies. Big deal! Back home I used to hide three bodies before breakfast.
[all shriek]
Karen: Now, now, now, now what?
TV Announcer: This week on Make it Wayne...
Alfred: Please tell me you didn't buy another boat, Master Wayne.
Commissioner Gordon: [snoring]
Bruce Wayne: What else am I gonna use in my new lake?
Karen: [strained effort]
Jessica: [strained effort]
Kara: [strained effort]
Commissioner Gordon: [snoring continues]
Babs: Phew! Mission accomplished.
Jessica: Supergirl! Come on!
Karen: Wait. We're missing one. Where's Poison Ivy?
Jessica: [gasps] We left her on the roof rack!
[car lock beeps]
Jessica: [panting]
Karen: Now! Now, now, now, now, now what?
[cell phone ringing]
Diana: What is going on here?
Babs: What don't you get? We found a bunch of villains missing their souls and decided to stash 'em here until we could fix 'em!
Diana: Yes, but why are they...
Babs: Oh, heh, my dad got suspicious, so I had to make it look like we were having a slumber party.
[knock at door]
Commissioner Gordon: Everything okay in here, sweetie?
Babs: You know it, pops! Just doing makeovers!
Commissioner Gordon: All right, looks good to me.
Babs: What do you expect? He still hasn't figured out I'm Batgirl.
Diana: We must discover who is responsible for this immediately!
Kara: Yeah, duh! But how are we gonna do that?
Diana: Do not worry. I have a plan. This villain is targeting other villains. We must find the next target before anyone else loses their soul.
Karen: But where are we gonna find more--
Katana: Villains!
[all gasp]
Katana: Your souls are tainted. And now, they will be mine.

Soul Sisters Part 2[]

[Katana] Villains!
Your souls are tainted.
And now... they will be mine.
Sorry, sis.
I like my soul right where it is.
[attack yell]
[Supergirl grunts]
-[all gasp]
-Supergirl!
[gasps]
[gasps] What?
Well, at least we know where the souls are now.
Let's show this one-trick pony what real magic looks like.
[casting spell]
[cheering] Yeah!
Whoa!
[both teeth chattering]
Now, now, now, now, now... now, now what?
[screams] Run!
[attack grunt]
You'll never escape my blade.
Soultaker will find you!
[sadly] My friends...
I... I led you to this.
What have I done?
Now, now, now, now, now... what?
-[lasso chimes]
-[Wonder Woman grunts]
I have to save my friends.
To have any chance of doing that...
I must know what I am facing.
[gasps]
"The Soultaker."
[fire roaring]
"A samurai blade... forged in the
14th Century...
[bubbling]
...during a time of war, by the legendary swordsmith,
Murasama Sengo.
[arrows whooshing]
The sword is rumored to have the power to steal the souls of its enemies.
These souls can only be freed if whoever wields Soultaker says the following incantation..."
[sighs] It is written in Japanese Kanji.
Hmm.
Maybe Tatsu would know.
[dial pad beeps]
[upbeat music blaring]
[dial pad beeping]
Diana?
[automated voice]
You've reached the Metropolis Department of Water and Power.
-[music blaring]
-[loudly] Hello, Tatsu.
I was just trying to call you.
[automated voice]
If you know your party's extension, enter it now.
[blaring music continues]
Huh? Oh!
[loudly]
Ah. My apologies.
[automated voice]
Turn left on
Longshore Avenue...
-...Recalculating...
-[frustrated] Silence!
...turn left on Butler Street...
[phone disconnects]
[softly]
What are you doing here?
I find that training the mind is just as important as training the body.
[chuckles] We are so alike!
Why were you trying to call me?
I require your help to translate a passage from Japanese.
[gasps]
Why are you interested in Soultaker?
How do you know about Soultaker?
It is you.
You are the stranger from the roof.
And you are the villain that got away.
I thought we were friends, Tatsu.
So did I.
Which is why I take no pleasure in this.
[grunts]
[grunting]
[object clattering]
-[grunts]
-[groans]
[loud thud]
Shh...
Sorry, sorry.
[loudly]
Does that say--
[librarian] Shh...
[whispers] Does that say no loud fighting?
It's Metropolis, that's the best we can hope for.
-[embarrassed laugh]
-Sorry. We will be quieter.
[whispering grunts]
[whispering] You stole the souls of my friends!
They were interfering with my mission.
And now so are you!
-[muffled scream]
[softly] Ha!
[suspenseful music plays]
[muffled sneeze]
[both sigh in relief]
[both gasp]
[both sigh in relief]
[creaking]
[growling]
Uh, sorry. Sorry.
We are so sorry.
We are both usually much more respectful of rules.
[wind blowing]
So... it has come to this.
I am...
Katana!
My mission is to find villains and punish them for their evil deeds.
That... is what a hero does.
You are wrong about that.
Heroes do not punish, they protect the innocent.
Now, hand over your sword that I may free those you have trapped inside.
You desire my blade?
Come and get it.
[wind blowing]
[grunts]
[grunting]
[straining]
Ahhh!
[grunts]
[grunts]
[both gasp]
Huh?
[groans]
[moans]
You have a good heart, Diana.
And for that reason
I will not take your soul.
But you might as well give up now.
You cannot defeat me!
[Wonder Woman breathes heavily]
[shaky voice] Perhaps...
But I will not allow my friends to remain trapped in that sword.
[scoffs]
Ahhh!
[grunts]
You do not understand.
To free one soul is to free them all.
You cannot release your friends without releasing the souls of hundreds of evildoers.
And I cannot allow that.
I have met "heroes" like you before.
Your methods are weak and allow villains to return again and again.
My methods actually work.
[creaking]
Take this lawbreaker, for example.
One strike from me, and he'll never steal another car again.
Stop!
You cannot do this!
You beg for this criminal's soul?
[softly] Not his soul.
Yours.
If you continue to act as judge, jury, and executioner, you shall be no better than the villains you punish.
Mmm.
[dramatic scream] No!
[screams] Diana!
[whooshes]
I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
I just locked my keys in the car.
This is your car?
-You are not a thief?
-No!
But you can have it, all right?
[shaky voice]
Just don't do that to me!
Begone.
-Now!
-[gasping]
What have I done?
[blows]
[sighs]
[speaking Japanese]
Gi. Yu. Jin. Rei.
Makoto. Meiyo.
Chugi. Jisei.
[speaking English]
In the name of
Murasama the maker,
I command you all, vacate the sword and return to life!
[whooshing]
[squeaking]
[gasps]
-[squeaks]
-[screams]
Rats! Rats!
[intense music plays]
[gasps]
[gasps]
[gasps]
[gasps]
[gasps]
[gasps softly]
I am alive!
You released the souls?
But why?
What you did for that young man inspired me.
You did not punish, you protected.
You were right.
That is true heroism.
What will you do now?
Well, I did just free hundreds of criminals.
Someone should probably start recapturing them.
This time,
I will do it the right way.
Not as an executioner, but as a hero.
Soultaker.
It is the source of my power.
How can I shoulder such responsibility without it?
You will not have to.
Soultaker can be a force for good.
But... how?
We will train.
Ow, my head.
Ugh. Magic is the worst.
Uh, hello?
I'm right here?
So...
Let us never speak of this again.
-Works for me.
-Mmm-hmm. Uh-huh.
-Great idea.
-Yeah. Good call.
Um... I don't hate this.
Ugh!
[theme music playing]

Abracadabrapalooza[]

[theme song playing]
♪ When super me Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side ♪
♪ Look out, world We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow! ♪
Zee: [inhales] Ready, Karen?
Karen: Uh. I... I guess so.
Zee: Let's begin.
Karen: [gasps]
Zee: Foundation. Shade and highlight. Powder.
Karen: [sneezes]
Zee: Blush. Eye shadow.Mascara. Lipstick! Ta-da!
Karen: Oh. Oh. Um...
Zee: [scoffs] I know what you're thinking, Karen, but I've been performing in front of crowds for years. The secret is to look exaggerated up close, so you look fabulous from afar. Trust me, I've been doing this forever.
Karen: Ooh... [screams] What is that? [nervously] I... Is that a zit? Zee, you have to help me.
Zee: Oh. Sweet Karen, please, this is nothing to panic about.
Karen: I just...
Zee: We all go through changes at a certain point of life. Sure, it can be uncomfortable. Confusing, even.
Karen: But I--
Zee: Why, I remember when I first had to deal with something like this... When Daddy and I first started out, we traveled the country trying to get our act off the ground. I didn't know anything about stage makeup in those days. Most of the time we didn't even have a stage.
All: [exclaiming in awe]
[thuds]
Both: [laughing]
Zee: But no matter how hard it was, no matter how small the crowds...
[thuds]
Zee: ...we were happy.
[both laughing]
Zee: Because we were together.
[both laughing]
Giovanni: Forgetting something?
Zee: [giggles] Never.
Giovanni: Across the land... Across the sea... Together our hearts... Will always be.
Zee: Our act wasn't the greatest and we didn't have much money. But we always had each other. I never wanted anything to change. [yawns]
[chimes] [chimes]
Zee: Mmm?
[squeaking]
Zee: Hi, Daddy.
Giovanni: Morning, love. Um... Zee? You got a little...
Zee:[gasps] [squeals]
[pops]
Zee: [gasps] Wha... [gasps] [gasps] [gasps] [whimpers] [exclaims in panic] What is going on?
Giovanni: Zee? Everything all right in there? Where did all these rabbits come from?
Zee: All good, Daddy.
Giovanni: Oh. I thought I heard a crash.
Zee: I dropped a few things. [nervous laugh] Silly me.
Giovanni: [suspiciously] Okay...
Zee: I didn't know what was happening. All of these strange things I couldn't control. [sighs] Sound familiar, Karen?
Karen: Well, um, actually--
Zee: I thought my troubles were over. But they were just beginning...
[coin rattling]
Little Boy: [whimpering]
Zee: [exclaims in panic] [whimpers] [yelps]
[thuds]
Zee: [nervously] Ta-da! [gasps]
Worker: Welcome to Big Borger. How mayo I help you?
Zee: [casting spell] Eno obmoc rebmun evif... [gasps] Eno yrrehc eip... Eno redro fo noino sgnir... Ta-da? [exclaims in panic] These changes were coming so fast I... I thought I was losing my mind.
[knocking at door]
Zee: I didn't know what was happening to me. And to make matters worse, I didn't have anyone to talk to.
[sawing]
Zee: Um... Daddy?
Giovanni: Oh. [chuckles] Oops.
Zee: Are you all right?
Giovanni: [sighs wearily] Oh, Zee... I wanted to wait until dinner to tell you, but I can't keep it in anymore. We got into... Abracadabrapalooza!
What?
Giovanni: We're gonna perform at the biggest magic showcase in the country.
Zee: [shrieks excitedly]
Giovanni: It's the break we've been waiting for! This is our chance to show 'em just exactly who we are!
Zee: [whimpers] [nervously] Just exactly who we are?
Giovanni: I knew you'd be as excited as me, I'm going to confirm the booking.
Zee: All these strange things that had been happening to me. I couldn't control them. If the new, freaky, weirdo me stepped out onto that stage, I knew I'd ruin everything my father had worked so hard for.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Abracadabrapalooza!
[crowd cheering]
Giovanni: Ah, there you are! Ready, love?
Zee: Yeah. Sure.
Giovanni: Across the land...
Zee: Daddy...
Giovanni: Across the sea...
Zee: Daddy...
Giovanni: ...together our hearts--
Zee: Daddy, listen. I can't go on with you. I'm sorry.
Giovanni: What? Oh, don't worry, love, everyone gets cold feet with a crowd this size.
Zee: [hesitantly] You know, it's not cold feet, Daddy. I...I can't be a part of the act anymore. I've... changed.
Giovanni: [disappointed] Oh, well... It's okay, love. I'd never make you do something you don't want to do.If you don't want to go out there with me... I understand.
Zee: [bursts into tears] [sobbing] [gasps] [scared gasp] [frightened] Huh? No! Oh... oh no! Ahh! Stop it! No, no, no! [shrieks] [yells] No, no, no! Help! This isn't happening!
Giovanni: Zee? Everything all right in there?
Zee: Nothing, Daddy. Everything's fine!
Giovanni: Zee, open the door.
Zee: Everything's fine!
Giovanni: Zee? Are you all right? Zee!
Zee: [screams]
[dramatic music plays]
Zee: Ta-da!
Giovanni: [casting spell] Oh, Zee, love, I'm so proud of you! I didn't know if you were going to have magical powers! I kept my own a secret because I didn't want to hurt your feelings.
Zee: Um, magical... powers?
Giovanni: But now we're both magical! Isn't that amazing? Ooh, I've been carrying this everywhere, waiting for the day when your powers might appear. This belonged to my grandfather, Luigi Zatara, who gave it to me when I got my powers. And now, it's yours.
Zee: You mean... all this stuff that's been happening to me is... magic? Real magic?
Giovanni: That's right! Here... This book will teach you everything you need to know to control what's inside you. Repeat after me... [casting spell] Daer retpahc eno!
Zee: Daer retpahc eno? [gasps]
Giovanni:You just learned your first spell.
Zee: It's all so clear now.
Giovanni: And that's just chapter one. Don't worry about all the changes you've been going through. Change can be a very good thing. Zee... Come and do the act with me. I need you. I've always needed you. This is our show.
Zee: Okay, Daddy. In that moment, we were the same team we'd always been. Though it felt like nothing had changed... everything had changed...
[crowd cheering]
Zee: ...for the better. It was that performance at Abracadabrapalooza that brought us here today. There was a booking agent in the crowd who got us our first tour. From there we travelled the country steadily improving our act, and that led to this residency at the casino. We never could have done any of it if not for that show. So you see, Karen, the secret is to embrace these changes when they come. They might seem strange at first, but often times change can be a very good thing.
Karen: So... can I borrow your makeup or not?
Zee: [groans]
[closing theme music plays]

Rage Cat[]

[theme song playing]
♪ When super me Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side ♪
♪ Look out, world We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow! ♪
Male Volunteer: All right, team, gather round. [sighs] Okay. So today, we're gonna try to beat last year's goal and get... ...three pets adopted.
Jessica: Three? Why stop at three? I say, we get all these pets adopted. Who is with me? Forever homes! Forever homes! Forever homes! That's the spirit. Now... Let's house some pets.
[dogs barking]
[panting]
[inaudible cheer]
[squawking]
[hissing]
[squeaking]
Male Volunteer: Wow, Jess. You've got a real gift for pairing animals with families.
Jessica: Well, I believe there's a perfect owner for every pet. It's up to us to find them. [humming]
[electricity crackling]
Jessica: [gasps]
[lights switching on]
[electricity crackling]
Jessica: Hello?
[thudding in distance]
Jessica: Dexter. How did we miss you, sweetie?
Female Volunteer: Back away from that cage if you know what's good for you.
Jessica: Wha... What?
Female Volunteer 1: I used to think Dexter was sweet, too. [chuckles] [inhales deeply] Until the day I tried to feed him... ...dry cat food.
Male Volunteer: I called him Dexy. Big mistake.
Female Volunteer 2: Remember what happened when Monica touched his tail?
Monica: Here kitty, kitty. Meow... Meow...
Jessica: [chuckles] Come on, you guys. He's just a cat.
Male Volunteer: No! He's a bad cat. And besides, it's almost his... "time."
Jessica: [gasps]
Male Volunteer: Just leave it alone.
Dex-Starr: [purring]
Jessica: Leave it alone? I don't know the meaning of the words.
[bolt clanking]
[all whimpering]
[purring]
Monica: No! That purr! Everyone, run!
Jessica: They don't understand you, Dexter, but I know you're a good cat. Hi, there! Interested in a sweet, adorable, cuddly little kitty?
Mother: Oh, I don't know. We're not much of an animal family.
Jessica: Well, having a cat like Dexter can teach your son all sorts of valuable life skills.
Dex-Starr: [purring]
Jessica: Aw, I think he likes you. [gasps] [grunts]
Dex-Starr: [snarling]
Jessica: Wait! Please! Whoa!
Dex-Starr: [snarling]
Jessica: Whoa! Ow.
Dex-Starr: [snarling]
Jessica: [yells]
Dex-Starr: [meowing]
Male Volunteer: [panting] Jess, I told you to leave it alone! No one on Earth is going to adopt this cat.
Dex-Star: [snarling]
Jessica: What you need is an owner with a strong will, a leader you can follow...
Dex-Starr: [meows softly]
Diana: Certainly I will help this creature in need.
Jessica: I knew you'd be perfect for each other. He's strong and independent, just like you.
Diana: Fear not, Jessica. Oftentimes I cared for others' animal companions on Themyscira. I even became known as the Minotaur whisperer. [chuckles] See? He is pleased. [sniffles] [chuckles nervously] Oh! Ahhh! [sneezes] What is this witchcraft?
Jessica: Oh no!
Diana: [sneezing]
Jessica: You're allergic to cats!
Diana: [sneezing uncontrollably]
Jessica: Dexter, no! Get off of her! Get off!
Diana: [muffled] Remove this demon at once!
Jessica: Maybe what you need is a more traditional environment, a family structure to make you feel safe.
Dex-Starr: [purring softly]
Babs: [squealing] Jess, I've always wanted a cat! I'll call him Batkitten.
Jessica: Why not Batcat?
Babs: No, that's dumb. Batkitten!
Jessica: Oh, I think we've found you the perfect owner, Dexter. Er... Batkitten. [chuckles]
Dex-Starr: [purring]
Babs: [nervously] Uh, careful, Batkitten, that's one of mommy's favorite Batman figurines!
Dex-Starr: [purring maliciously]
Babs: [gasps, grunts] Phew. That was a close one, huh? [gasping, grunting]
JessicaL Dexter, stop that!
Babs: Batkitten, don't even think about it. It took me thirty-two hours of painstaking--[yells] Batkitten, no! [thuds]
Jessica: Maybe what you need is a real animal lover.
Garth: He's cool with fish, right?
Dex-Starr: [burps]
Jessica: Okay, so I have no reason to think this next one will be the perfect owner, but you never know!
Hal: Oh, sure I'll take him, I love these things. I'll teach him to catch a tennis ball, let him do his thing on a few hydrants.
Dex-Starr: [purring]
Hal: We're gonna bro-down hard. Right, D-Money? Who's my D-Money?
[door slams]
Jessica: [sighs in relief]
Dexter: [snarling]
Hal: [screaming painfully]
[alarm blaring]
Jessica: [groans in dismay] Don't worry, Dexter. We just need to cast a wider net, show the world how amazing you are!
Dex-Starr: [growling]
Smile, Dexter. Once the world sees how amazingly cute you are, you'll get adopted in no time.
Woman: Aw, look at his little hat.
Girl 1: He's so cute. Can we get him, Mommy, can we?
Jessica: [grunts, gasps] nervously] Let's just...
[all cooing]
Jessica: ...give him a little space.
Woman: So cute.
Jessica: Maybe not quite so close,
[indistinct chatter]
Jessica: [chuckles nervously]
Man: Oh, so cute.
Girl 1: Listen to him purr, Mommy! I saw him first.
Girl 2: I want him!
Dex-Starr: [purring]
[rumbling]
[all exclaiming]
Girl 1: Look, Mommy. He's levitating.
Jessica: Wait. Is that......the power ring?
[all screaming]
Jessica: [grunts] [groans]
Dex-Starr: So......you want to play dress-up with the sweet little kitty-cat, eh? How do you like......this outfit?
Jessica: [whimpering] D... Dexter?
Dex-Starr: Dexter? [chuckles maliciously] I'm afraid not. From this day forward I shall be known as Dex-starr of the Red Lantern Corps.
Jessica: Red Lantern Corps?
Dex-Starr: Indeed. Our members are chosen from the angriest beings in the universe, and our rings are fueled by the red light of rage!
Jessica: Oh, it was the bowtie, wasn't it? I knew that was too much.
Dex-Starr: [hissing angrily]
Jessica: Okay, Jimmy, we just have to get that ring off of his...
[running footsteps receding]
Jessica: [sighs] ...tail. [gasps] [whimpering] Nice kitty...
Dex-Starr: [growling] [angrily] I am not a nice kitty! [retching]
Jessica: Dexter, please! Let's talk about this.
Dex-Starr: Wearing collars. Eating kibble. Forcing me into a forever home. My forever home is suffering! My forever home is pain! And soon, yours will be, too! [retching]
Jessica: [grunts] Everyone, out the back! Go!
Dex-Starr: Cat and mouse, Jessica Cruz? Very well. Come back, scaredy-cat. [laughs maliciously] Meow?
Jessica: [gasps] [gasps]
Dex-Starr: [purring] You couldn't just leave it alone, could you? No, you don't know the meaning of those words! [chuckles] Well, then... It appears someone else has a new outfit, too.
Jessica: It's over, Dex-Starr. Hand me the ring.
Dex-Starr: Never! You shall pay for your crimes against felinity. You could never escape me. I am the ultimate hunter! [coos] [meows] [meows] [frustrated snarling] Enough! Let's see how you like being toyed with. [growling]
Jessica: [coughing] [thuds] Argh!
Dex-Starr: Oh, Green Lantern. [meows, laughs] Is this what you're looking for? You'll have to be faster than that. Over here...
Jessica: [grunts]
Dex-Starr: Let's stop pussyfooting around.
Jessica: [grunts, groans] [coughing] [coughing]
Dex-Starr: And now,Green Lantern, it seems it is almost your "time." Then, this whole stinking planet will be my forever home! [growling]
Jessica: [gasps] Give me the ring!
Dex-Starr: My tail! [snarling]
[ring surging]
Dex-Starr: [purring softly]
Jessica: Aw, Dex. What are we gonna do with you? [softly] Okay, Dexter. It's almost time...
[bell dings in distance]
Jessica: [excitedly] ...for dinner! Well, what do you think? Am I the perfect owner or what? [gasps] Oh, you!
[theme music plays]

The Good The Bad and the Bizarre[]

[theme song playing]
♪ When super me
Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically
Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side
♪ Look out, world
We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together
Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow!
[alarm beeping]
[reporter] ...and in this morning's headlines, our beloved hero is at it again...
That's right, Supergirl saved Metropolis yesterday, trouncing a squadron of deep space invaders
as they attempted to enslave us all...
[sighs]
[British reporter] ...after such a trying ordeal, it was all thanks to Supergirl that the orphans were saved.
In other news, Supergirl...
[overlapping reporter] ...Metropolis's Ballistic Miss, Supergirl.
[crowd chanting] Supergirl.
Supergirl.
Supergirl.
Supergirl.
Supergirl.
Supergirl.
Supergirl.
Supergirl.
Supergirl.
Supergirl.
Um, Kara?
I tell ya, Babsie, everything's coming up Danvers.
After months of,
"Superman, Superman, you're so cool," people are finally giving Supergirl the respect she deserves.
Yo, Kara.
Way to kill it in Chemistry.
Ha. See?
Everyone's finally seeing the real--
[Mr. Chapin] Kara Danvers!
To the principal's office, now!
This is it, Danvers.
This time you've gone too far!
And I don't mean your spelling.
Okay, first of all,
I didn't do this.
And second of all, I know
Chapin has two "P"s, right?
It does not have two "P"s!
You stole the roof off my convertible.
You threw the bell from the tower in the pool.
You TP'd my house.
And you even flipped our beloved Lady Justice statue upside-down!
[laughs] That last one's super funny and totally something I'd do, but I didn't.
And I didn't do any of that stuff.
Seriously, Mr. Chapin,
I'm one of the good guys!
"Ever since arriving at Smallville High...
Hey, hey, wait!
...Kara Danvers has displayed antisocial tendencies.
[Kara] Wait a second.
This weekend's incident leaves us no choice but to... expel her."
Somehow, you destroyed the entire gym at your old school, Danvers.
That wasn't me!
I was framed!
[sighs] I'm suspending you for a week.
Get it together or you'll find yourself expelled from your second school.
...and there I was, surrounded by a completely demolished gym.
What did you do?
What could I do?
They already decided
I was the bad guy.
So then I was like, fine, whatever.
And... [scoffs] then I got expelled.
Well, I for one totally and completely believe you, one thousand and one percent!
Thanks, Babs.
Well, maybe Kara Danvers' rep is in ruins, but at least people still love Supergirl.
[long gasp]
Kara, what did you do?
[yelps]
Whoa... Supergirl's a bad guy?
I can't believe it.
[woman 1] She's just a super-powered juvenile delinquent!
[woman 2] And here I thought
Supergirl was one of the good guys.
How could they think that was me?
I don't spell that bad.
Hmm...
It wasn't me, Babs.
No, no, of course not.
I believe you one thousand and one--
[news reporter] This just in.
Supergirl strikes again!
This time ripping the entire roof off the world-famous Taj Mahal.
Wow, Kara, you're fast.
[Kara groans]
First Smallville High, then Metropolis High, now this!
Come on, Babs.
Someone's out there trying to frame me and I won't let it happen.
Not again.
China, then India...
If my calculations are correct, then you'll strike next in--
Babs! Seriously!
It wasn't me!
Well, whoever it is that definitely isn't you will strike next in...
England!
How'd you figure that out?
Science. Math. I dunno.
My word, never seen anything like it.
[woman] That's 'er!
She threw our beloved
Stonehenge in the river!
Me? I just got here.
Poppycock!
[crowd mutters and growls]
Saw her do it with me own two eyes, I did!
Quick!
I know where you're going to strike next!
[grunts]
Where I'm going to strike next?
[giggles] Look!
[Supergirl] What is going on?
[people growling]
Smotret! Smotret!
[gasps] Supergirl!!
[men muttering]
[Supergirl groans]
Seriously, Babs?!
Hmm...
[Supergirl groans]
[Batgirl] Hey! It's just like when you flipped
Lady Justice at school!
[Supergirl] Just stop it, will you?
[people growling]
Gah! It wasn't me!
None of it was me!
Someone is trying to make me look like a bad guy!
And I'll prove it by being a good guy.
[grunts]
Yeah.
[Bizarro yells]
[grunts]
Huh?
Me. Am. Bizarro.
Me going to mess up whole world and Ugly Me no can stop me!
[grunts]
[groaning in pain]
[groaning]
Okay, I believe you now.
[sighs]
Wait? You've got one too?
"Too"?
What do you mean, "too"?
Well, Bizarro's a nemesis
I face pretty often.
He's basically a weird-looking version of me, and, unlike you, I...
You know... defeated him.
[groans]
If your Bizarro's like my Bizarro, she should be the exact opposite of you.
You know, smart and pretty?
Hardy-har.
Is that all you got on these freaks?
Yeah, there's not much to Bizarros.
They're big, weird monsters that look like us and destroy things for no reason.
[gasps]
Kara Danvers destroyed the gym!
[girl] She'll be expelled for sure!
Why would she do something so bad?
[boy] 'Cause Kara Danvers is a bad guy, or I mean girl.
You know what I mean.
[gasps]
Bizarro got
Kara Danvers expelled from Smallville High!
She made everyone hate me there, and if I don't stop her, she'll make everyone hate Supergirl all over the world!
[laptop keys clicking]
[Clark] Yeah, uh-huh, you're burning my minutes here.
[huffs]
Next target...
Metropolis.
But you know what
I'm not buying?
If Bizarro's the opposite of you, why isn't she super weak?
And how come she can fly?
The real question is, where--
See? She's angry and violent.
[breathing heavily]
You're angry and violent.
Stay out of me way,
Ugly Me!
No!
See, now that's opposite.
[both growling]
Yup. That, too.
[breathing heavily]
[yelps]
[screams]
Okay, she's three for three.
[groans]
Say hi to space, sucka!
[grunts]
Ha.
Oh.
Yeah, I guess that works.
Yeah!
Huh?
Let Bizarro destroy!
[grunts] Not a chance.
You may have destroyed my gym, but you ain't gonna destroy my city!
[grunts]
[grunting]
[grunts]
[gasps]
Uh-oh.
[angry muttering]
Supergirl's at it again!
Worst villain since Starro!
[angry crowd muttering]
Don't listen to them.
You can still stop her!
What's the point?
It's Smallville all over again.
I always take the blame, no matter how hard I try.
[Batgirl grunts]
[panting] Come on.
Isn't there something you can try even harder with?
One last superpower in your arsenal?
Well... there's one thing.
Clark told me about it.
[sniffling] It's called... a Super Flare.
It uses all the solar energy in my cells, concentrating all my Kryptonian strength into one powerful blast.
But when it's done,
I'll be left powerless for who knows how long.
Oh. Yikes.
[woman yelps]
[crowd screams]
[roars]
[boy 1] Kara Danvers destroyed the gym!
[boy 2] Why would she do something so bad?
[boy 3] 'Cause Kara Danvers is a bad guy.
...a bad guy...
...a bad guy [echoes]
You know what? Fine.
Whatever.
That monster has ruined
Kara Danvers' rep forever, and all because
I wouldn't stick up for myself.
Well now, I'm gonna lay it all on the line... for Supergirl!
[cries]
[roars]
[Supergirl] Hey, Ugly Me!
You no learn, huh?
Me learn you.
[growls]
[yells]
[crashing]
Did it work?
Did I beat her?
[breathing heavily]
[Batgirl] Nope!
I did!
Huh?
[groans]
[sobbing]
Aw, don't feel bad, villain.
No one escapes Batgirl.
[crying] No, that not it.
Bizarro Supergirl want to be great villain.
Now Bizarro Superman keep getting glory.
"Bizarro Superman so great.
Bizarro Superman so evil."
[sobs] Me just want to prove me bad, too.
Oh, please! Do you believe this baloney Supergi-- Huh?
Okay see, that is not opposite.
See? I'm back in school,
Supergirl's back in favor, and we both got our reputations back.
And dumb cousins not on front page.
Hmm?
Nope.
[theme music playing]

Back In a Flash[]

[theme song playing]
♪ When super me Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side ♪
♪ Look out, world We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow! ♪
[Mr. Chapin] Settle down, now.
This is a morning assembly, not recess.
[students chattering]
[munching]
[gasps] How rude of me.
[clears throat]
Morning burrito?
It's got six kinds of beans in it.
Oh, well, not everyone likes haute cuisine.
[chomps]
Everybody, sit down!
[Batgirl farts]
It was Barbara Gordon.
[laughing]
[students sniggering]
[murmuring]
[all chuckling]
Hit me again, Barry.
Uh, I don't know, Babs.
Don't you think you've had enough? I mean,
I know that much dairy--
After what happened today, my life is over!
So, hit me again!
Okay, yeah, okay, I get it.
But, listen, maybe everybody's talking about you today and making up nicknames and changing the lyrics to pop songs.
♪ Her tale
Of stinkiness started ♪
♪ The moment
When young Babs far-- ♪
Thank you for that.
[squishing]
Oops, sorry.
[all laughing hysterically]
[student] Classic.
[bell ringing]
Barry: [whistles]
Babs: Barry! [grunts]
Barry: Hey. Uh... Did you change your hair?
Babs: Barry, I was up all night, well, week. And, look! It only took eighty hours of intense calculating but I did it. See! I can fix EVERYTHING!
Barry: [gasps] You can?
Babs: Actually, I can't.
Barry: Ah, emotional roller-coaster.
Babs: [deep voice] We can! All we have to do is go back in time and make sure I never eat that breakfast bean burrito in the first place. This altering the very fabric of space-time wrapping us into a parallel timeline where on that morning in front of the whole school I did not toot my own horn. So to speak.
Barry: It's cool how you make impossible stuff sound like, super easy.
Babs: That's 'cause it is. If this morning's calculations are correct, you've had the power to travel back in time all along and we just never knew it. All you have to do is synchronized non-thermionic cork spin with a semi-hyperbolic region of n-dimensional space. All you have to do is run around in a circle really really fast.
Barry: Oh, yeah, right, totally, duh.
Babs: All right, The Flash, let's unmake history.
This assembly is going to save a lot of lives.
We did it.
He's still setting up.
Now to swap out my yet to be eaten traitorous morning burrito.
Good riddance.
And putting one without beans.
Yes,
I carry a variety of burritos with me at all times.
Come on.
Let's see if it worked.
Oliver!
At what moment did my tale of stinkiness start?
Answer in a song.
What are you talking about?
It totally worked!
Oh, Barry, who knew changing the past would feel so amazing?
When I think of all the things
I regret in life... the movies I missed, the words I mispronounced, the Robins I didn't tell off.
[gasps] Hey!
If we could somehow go back in time, we could go back and tell you to tell me...
What were we talking about?
You're right!
We should go back in time and fix every regret we've ever had.
You're a genius, Barry.
Vamanos.
[bell chiming]
Remember Batman vs. Pizza Rat, number 77, limited edition, foil cover?
The one that was sold out everywhere in three hours?
"Was" being the operative word.
I'd like one copy of your finest
Batman vs. Pizza Rat number 77, limited edition, foil cover, my good sir.
Cash only.
Barry!
Hang on, I got you,
I got you.
I have five cents.
Where am I going to get $3.50?
Or when...
Think of it as investing in your future, kid.
[crying hysterically]
How do you like me now?
[cash register dings]
[Barry] That was so cool.
Speaking of cool, you thinking what I'm thinking?
Doubtful.
-[bullets fired]
-[crowd exclaims]
Wow! I get all those memes now.
Can you believe they banned this candy just 'cause some kids blew up?
[crackling]
Nice try, mud.
You gotta get on this, Barry.
I don't know.
It's like I think my life's, you know, my life is pretty great the way it is.
Come on.
There's gotta be something.
What's the biggest mistake of your life?
Your biggest regret?
[gasps]
[shudders] There it is.
How could you be so stupid?
I'm sorry, what?
Yeah, so this birthday card, it's for my nana.
It was her 70th birthday.
Look here.
I wrote,
"Happy Birthday Nana!"
But I only put one exclamation point.
I was way happier than that.
She must have thought
I was a monster.
[sighs]
Now I can stop being so burdened all the time.
Oh, now that we've solved all of life's problems, shall we return to the present and bask in the awesomeness we just created?
[gasps]
Barry, how could you be so careless?
[gasps]
[Barry] This is my fault?
You're the one who had to go sticking punctuation where it didn't belong and now you've messed up the space-time continuum.
[sobbing] I'm so sorry.
Babs, doesn't this kinda look,
I don't know, way worse?
All will kneel before Zod.
Classic Neil.
Hate that guy. [groans]
I mean, I love that guy.
Ow! Babs!
Come on!
[bubbling]
[both exclaiming]
[growling]
Now a star is destroying the planet?
But we undid everything.
Yep, we sure did that.
Undo all the things...
Fine! I admit it.
I didn't undo the-- hmm, you know, don't make me do it, Barry.
It's too embarrassing.
You're putting me in an impossible position,
Barry.
Sorry.
What's more important?
My dignity or six billion human lives?
I think it's seven billion, actually.
So, it's a few more than I said.
Also, all the plants and animals too.
But you heard the song.
No, you're right.
It's a tough call.
-What would you do?
-[people screaming]
Well, the ground disintegrating beneath my feet makes me lean towards saving the world and all, but still...
You're my best friend, Babs.
Whatever you decide,
I'll support you.
[shudders]
I've made my decision.
[Batgirl]
I tried blaming the burrito.
I tried blaming Barry.
But the truth is
I only have one person to blame, myself.
And putting one without beans.
Yes, I carry a variety of burritos with me at all times.
Come on, let's see if it worked.
[sighs]
[groans]
Huh?
That's right, Babs.
I'm you!
You know, from a future timeline where nobody knows what happened?
Oh, you mean a timeline where I didn't go back in time to re-switch the burritos with the one with beans, so I can re-humiliate myself so I can undestroy the world?
Yes!
And I've come to stop you from stopping you.
It's over, me.
This burrito is not going back in our locker.
Not if we can help it, me.
We hate our futures and we won't let you let them have it.
Oh, yeah?
Well, we're okay with our horrific futures and we won't let you re-humiliate us for a second time.
[all screaming]
[all exclaiming]
Oh, hey, I'm Barry.
No way!
That's my name too.
[all] Wow! What are the odds?
[grunting]
[grunts]
[gasps]
[grunts]
Humanity has been reduced to post-apocalyptic asteroid caves.
But it's better this way.
If it means saving the world,
I would cut a thousand cheeses.
Uh, what's going on?
[grunts]
Heads up, me.
Hey, look, a burrito.
No!
[exclaiming]
I know everything.
[Mr. Chapin] Settle down, now.
Everybody, sit down!
-[Batgirl farts]
-[crowd complains]
-It was--
-Me!
-You're welcome.
-[girl] Gross.
[theme music playing]

Power Surge[]

Scrambled Eggs[]

Drama Queen[]

Ally Cat Part 1[]

[theme song playing]
♪ When super me Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side
♪ Look out, world We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow!
[helicopter whirring]
Mr. Luthor. Welcome.
It's an honor.
Are we ready?
Whenever you are, sir.
Activate The Lexcavator!
Uh, you know, if it were up to me,
I'd just blow the whole thing to bits.
[laughs]
But I guess this works too.
[blows]
I told the British government that if I was going to dig under Stonehenge,
I insisted we do it without damaging the monument.
Ah, man, Lex Luthor.
What a guy.
You know, I've been searching for this particular text for years.
I hope the knowledge it contains will help make the world a better place.
[spits]
Lex Luthor just found the Book of Eternity!
The what of what now?
The Book of Eternity.
The great wizard Merlin wrote it over 1,500 years ago.
It gives whoever holds it the power to know, and thereby control, the future.
The Ancients buried it under Stonehenge to keep it out of the hands of mortals.
Nobody should have that book!
Not even a kind-hearted philanthropist like Lex Luthor?
No. Not even Lex Luthor.
So what are we gonna do, ask for it nicely?
He just spent a fortune to get that thing.
Well, he can't keep it, it's too dangerous.
Guess we'll just have to sneak into Lexcorp Tower and take it.
You want us to commit a crime.
No. Stealing a car is a crime.
This is friends coming together to pull off a complicated plan that's legally dubious but morally correct while trading banter and wearing cool outfits, all to awesome music!
This... is a heist.
Heist! Heist! Heist! Heist!
No?
Assuming this is the course of action we choose, where would we even begin?
I was born for this, you guys!
I have plans, gadgets, disguises.
I mean, I'm supposed to go to my grandma's in Gotham this weekend, but I'm sure
I can get out of that.
[car engine revving]
Does anyone know someone else who can help us break into the most heavily fortified, technologically advanced building in the world?
Um, I might.
[Catwoman] Purrfect.
[Catwoman exclaims]
[grunts]
Fine.
Go ahead, take me in so I can start working on my escape plan.
We're not taking you to jail.
Yet.
We have a proposition for you.
You will help us infiltrate Lexcorp and recover an item of great importance.
If you do this, we will let you go.
But if you don't, boom, straight to the slammer.
Wait, I'm being blackmailed?
By the Super Hero Girls?
It is not blackmail!
We are simply using your situation to make you do something you would not usually do.
Sweetie, that is the definition of blackmail.
I love it! I'm in.
All right, listen up.
Here's our plan.
The book is being kept in Lex's private suite.
The only way in is with Lex's private elevator.
The elevator itself is protected by a security guard and camera.
We'll need to get past those.
We'll also need
Lex's personal keycard.
His thumbprint. And his voice.
Lex. Rules.
[Catwoman] Thanks to Zatanna, we have tickets to Lex's charity gala tomorrow.
We'll arrive at 8:00 p.m. sharp in dresses and disguises.
We will look spectacular.
Then the fun begins.
[Bumblebee buzzing]
[beeping]
[both laughing]
[Lex Luthor]
Oh, I'm funny. [laughs]
[glass breaks]
[cracks knuckles]
-[grunting]
-[guests gasping and screaming]
[beeping]
[Lex Luthor's recorded voice]
Lex. Rules.
And that's our plan.
Now we just have to do it for real.
-[all talking at once]
-Oh, yeah.
-That sounds easy.
-It's wonderful.
We are gonna look so cool!
[groans]
-[clears throat]
-Shall we?
[Karen grunts]
[groans] Uh! Uh, guys,
I may need a moment.
A fine start.
Okay, keep things moving.
Assume your positions.
[laughs]
Hey there.
Oh, so where was I?
-Excuse me. Hi. Hello?
-Oh, that's right.
I was about 1,500 push-ups in when I realized, you know what,
I might just be pushing it--
-[grunts]
-I am most sorry.
Excuse me. [groans]
I have it.
Finally.
At least someone is doing their job.
[Diana] I am mistaken.
This is a library card.
Did you know Lex's middle name is Joseph?
-Um, hi. Uh, sorry.
-...realized, you know what,
I might be pushing it just...
-Excuse me!
-[Lex Luthor laughing]
[Zatanna chanting spell]
Can I help you with something?
Uh, yeah. You can.
You know, it is very rude to ignore someone who's trying to talk to you, especially when they are like way out of your league.
-Yes! [gasps]
-[shattering]
Uh, Catwoman, small problem.
[guests gasping and screaming]
What are you doing?
You're not supposed to start the fight yet!
I wasn't trying to.
Some of the guests here just think they're better than other people.
-[man groans]
-We're cool. We're cool.
[Bumblebee] Come in, Catwoman.
I'm almost...
[grunts]
...free!
Yeah!
[low growl]
[Bumblebee screaming]
Well, this has been enchanting, but--
Wait! What's your name?
You know it's Lex.
And what do you get in trouble for breaking?
-Laws?
-No, not that, I mean...
-[grunts]
-What the--
I am so sorry!
Uh, my vision is most clouded this evening!
[chuckles]
This says it is a platinum card, but it appears to be made of plastic.
Ugh. Fine. Just try again.
No, look. All games have them?
Starts with an R?
Uh, regulations?
[Jessica] I'll take that!
[sighs]
[groans]
-[rock music playing]
-Ugh! Can you just say--
Uh, hold on.
This song rules.
[grunts]
Again?
You must think me cursed with clumsiness.
Who invited you anyway?
Huh?
No. No, no, no. Wait.
[Zatanna] Too late.
Lex is onto us!
Supergirl! Distraction, now!
Hey, hey, meathead!
Where'd you get your face?
The ugly store?
Oh, oh, I'm so sorry.
Uh, did I do something to offend you?
If so, please, please just let me know how to make it right.
Seriously?
Excuse me!
You're not allowed to--
[groans]
[groans]
You are, without a doubt, the most incompetent, bumbling, half-witted crooks
I've ever worked with!
It is pure dumb luck that every part of this plan still worked.
[Bumblebee] Uh...
[chuckles nervously]
Not every part.
[gasps]
[guard groans]
I like that trick.
[groans]
[Lex Luthor's recorded voice]
Lex. Rules.
[Super Hero Girls chattering]
All right, everybody decent?
Secret identities safe?
-[Wonder Woman] Yep.
-[Bumblebee] You got it.
-[Supergirl] Good to go.
-[Zatanna] I am decent.
[all groan]
[all gasp]
[Green Lantern]
What is all this creepy stuff?
[Bumblebee] Uh, guys, could Lex Luthor be evil?
[Lex Luthor]
You might say that.
But I prefer the term "visionary."
I don't know, that chair spin definitely reads "evil."
Relinquish the book,
Lex Luthor!
[laughs] Yeah.
I don't think so.
Very well.
Then prepare to face--
Hold on a sec.
There's one part of the plan
I left out.
The part where I betray you.
Ooh, you should've seen that coming.
[all gasp]

Ally Cat Part 2[]

[theme music playing]
[theme song playing]
♪ When super me
Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically
Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side
♪ Look out, world
We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together
Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow!
Excellent work this evening, Catwoman.
I like how hard you made them work for it.
Really felt authentic.
Our heist was part of your plan?
I do not understand.
Well. That's probably because you don't have a book that tells the future.
-[all gasp]
-See, this bad boy said you were going to ask
Catwoman to help rob me.
So I simply got to her first and made a better offer.
Believe it or not, his pockets are a little deeper than yours.
It was actually quite convenient.
II needed to bring you all here anyway.
You did?
Oh, yes. The Book of Eternity has helped me make some big plans.
And, for those plans to work,
I need there to be a distinct lack of superheroes in Metropolis.
So you're gonna try and capture all the heroes in town?
Tsk!
"Gonna?" "Try?"
[scoffs] Please.
[all gasp]
Hey! What's up, you guys?
Ha ha!
I mean... Oh no!
Lex caught Superman!
[laughs]
Shut up... doofus...
This, ladies, is only the beginning.
For the rest of my plan to work, you're just have to wait and see.
[yawns]
Now, I know you're gonna wanna try and stop me.
But I'd recommend just getting in the cages.
Because I've read ahead and, hey, spoiler alert:
You lose.
Hmmph.
Oh, predictable.
Just have a seat, enjoy the show.
[dance music playing]
No, not the song again!
Grrr!
[Supergirl grunting]
[groans]
Hmm. Still warm.
[yelling]
[grunts]
[grunts]
Ah. Much Better.
All right, enough fun.
[all yelling]
Agh!
[coughing]
[screaming]
Tsalb Xe--
[mumbling]
[grunts]
Agh!
[groaning]
Ha... ha!
[sighs]
Very impressive.
I think you'll like this more.
The amount we agreed on has already been transferred to your account.
And I didn't even have to invoice.
Ha ha ha!
Shall we?
Ta-ta, girls.
Always fun catching up.
You will regret allying yourself with that villain.
You don't know what you're doing!
That book is dangerous!
Please don't leave me in here where I have to look at Superman!
[Catwoman]
Purr!
You even called me a ride.
What a gentleman.
It's the least I could do.
You're not going to want to be anywhere near the city tonight.
Really? Why's that?
Ah... You know what?
What the heck.
We're on the same side.
[laughs] It's pretty cool.
[Lex] The book told me that tonight, a few minutes before midnight, a meteor will hit Metropolis.
And not just any meteor, either.
We're talking death-of-the-dinosaurs stuff, an extinction level event.
When it hits, the people of this city will lose everything.
They'll need food, shelter, resources.
And most importantly, leadership.
Metropolis is only the first step.
I'm going to build a new world.
A better one.
I call it LuthEarth!
Huh? Huh?
Okay, yeah the name needs a little work, but you get the idea. Right?
Here's the best part.
I already know it works.
Every single step.
All right, wait, hey, now you say...
-You're insane.
-You're insane.
Oh! So much fun!
You're really gonna let all those people die?
I don't expect you to understand.
I'm a ninth level intellect.
You're a common thief.
Please trust me when I say your best course of action is to get on that helicopter.
Atta-girl.
Darling, there's nothing common about me.
[groans]
I can't believe
I'm doing this!
[elevator dings]
[powering off]
[chuckles]
[chuckles]
Two break-ins and two betrayals in one night.
Oh, you truly are the best.
Hehe. I'm looking for the bathroom.
There she goes!
Grab her!
All right, all right, who wants to put the cuffs on me?
Agh!
Next?
[all yelling]
Ow!
Now, where was I?
Great idea trusting
Catwoman, Bumblebee.
Me?
If I ever see that slimy, two-timing, sociopathic crook again, I--
Well. If that's how you feel.
[all] Catwoman!
I knew there was good in your heart.
Save it, girls.
Lex is letting the world be destroyed by a huge meteor.
I need you to stop it.
What can I say,
I like the world.
It's where I steal stuff.
So...
A huge, world-destroying meteor?
My favorite kind.
What? Wait.
No, that's...
Somebody altered the future, but...
But that's impossible!
Well, that's not strictly true.
You... You betrayed me?
I don't understand.
I mean, obviously,
I understand, it's you.
But why didn't I see it coming?
[chuckles]
Let's just say,
I took a page out of your book.
You see,
I had a little peek when you weren't looking.
Didn't like what I saw, no no no.
So I tore out the page that said I got on that copter, so you couldn't see it coming.
How I changed the story.
The ending too.
[chuckles]
No book tells me what to do.
You ruined everything!
Agh!
[chuckles]
I know you're already thinking about what you'll do if we ever meet again.
Trust me, we won't!
Hmm.
Stupid heroes!
Won't let a girl totally control the future.
[Barbara] Wait, so I didn't just miss a heist,
I missed saving the world?
And finding out that Lex Luthor is a super-villain?
And canapes?
Aw, don't worry,
I'm sure we'll break into another high-security building soon.
No, we will not.
Oh! Shh! It's on!
We're here at City Hall, where Lex Luthor is preparing to give an official statement after having been cleared of all charges.
What? He's free to go?
It is true, I detained some superheroes last night, but they were trespassing in my office.
And as for these accusations that I was going to
"let Metropolis be destroyed?"
Ridiculous.
I didn't do a thing.
That is all technically true.
I'm just glad we could clear up what was merely a misunderstanding between me and those dangerous, vigilante
Super Hero Girls.
I'm sure they'll be much more careful in the future.
But, we just saved the world.
Why do I feel like he won?
[Lex whistling]
Huh?
[gasps]
[yells]
[panting]
So, uh...
Whatever happened with that meteor?
[groans]

Retreat[]

[theme song playing]
♪ When super me
Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically
Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side ♪
♪ Look out, world
We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together
Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow! ♪
[screaming]
Holy potatoes, Jess!
Your parents' cabin is so awesome.
Forget the cabin, how 'bout that lake? Huh? Huh?
Look at all that water!
-[Garth grunts]
-And no worries about tonight's entertainment,
'cause I got it covered.
Nothing goes better with nature and fresh air than...
[ominously] The Cabin Massacre weekend trilogy.
On a retractable
3D theater screen with ultra 4K resolution display and 10.2 surround sound that runs on... this!
A nanotech pocket generator that will run our electronics the entire time we're roughing it!
I'm sorry, Babs, but "roughing it" means no tech.
-What?
-What?
You heard her. No tech.
That also means no powers, Hal.
-What?
-What?
But... lake.
[objects rattle]
-[grunting]
-[object thuds]
[Jessica] Don't give me that look.
We couldn't use our powers even if we wanted to.
Did you forget about...
[crow cawing]
Um, why is she here?
Um, why am I here?
Because it's a weekend surrounded by the glory of nature.
And who would enjoy it more than ultimate nature lover,
Pam Isley?
-[branches snapping]
-[gasps]
[nature screaming]
[gasps]
[nature screaming]
[gasps]
[sighing]
-[scraping]
-[nature screaming]
[shudders]
[screaming continues]
[Pam] Monsters.
[all laughing]
[Pam shivering]
Isn't this great?
The stars, the campfire, the camaraderie.
I thought you might be hungry, so I made us... veggie-kabobs!
[Pam gasps]
I've gotta go.
Don't get lost, all right?
[Hal] That chick is weird.
[laughing]
You could try to make her feel more welcome, you know?
Hey, I built a super-welcoming fire, what do you want from me?
[Barbara] She shouldn't have gone out there.
She could fall victim to...
The Witch of the Wood!
[both scream]
The Witch of the Wood?
Ooh, The Witch of the Wood.
Ooh, ooh, I'm so scared.
[scoffs]
Oh, it's no story.
The only reason no one knows about her is because no one's lived to tell her tale!
[both gasp]
A tale of tragedy and horror!
You see...
The Witch of the Wood was once a beautiful woman who lived long ago.
She was mother to 13 little children.
But a deadly plague swept through the village, taking all her darlings with it.
Driven mad with grief and despair, she vowed to bring them back to life!
But to do so, she knew she must find them amongst the graves of the plague's victims.
[plant zombies groaning]
[Jessica] Hang on, hang on.
There's no such thing as witches or zombies, Babs.
Stop trying to scare everyone.
[all shivering]
It's totally not...
[clears throat] ...working.
Then you won't mind if I continue.
Ugh, whatever.
I'm going to get more marshmallows.
Hopefully this nonsense will be over when I get back.
Oh, it will...
-[yelling] ...or will it?
-[Karen, Hal, Garth shuddering]
Falling deeper into madness, she pulled more and more mangled corpses from the earth... sending them forth to find her children.
[plant zombies groaning]
And should they, destroy those who would do them further harm.
[Pam screaming]
[gasps] Was that Pam?
[gasps] The Witch of the Wood got her!
[all screaming]
Come on, you guys.
I totally made that story up.
-There's no such things as witches or--
-[plan zombie groaning]
[gasps]
[roaring]
Zombies! [screams]
[roaring]
[all screaming]
[plant zombies groaning]
[panicking] They're everywhere!
[all screaming]
[screaming]
[Karen] Oh, no, Garth!
What do we do?
-Jess took all our power thingies.
-[water bubbling]
[Garth] Fear not, young Karen.
For unlike you mere mortals,
I need no power thingy to become the mighty master of the deep.
Aqua--
[all screaming]
[gasps] The cabin.
It's our only hope.
Run!
[all panting]
-[Hal grunts]
-[Barbara and Karen] Hal!
-[Hal gasps]
-[plant zombie groaning]
[all gasp]
[all screaming]
-[both panting]
-[Jessica] Hey, guys?
Do you know where are the gluten-free graham crackers are?
I found the...
Um...
What's going on?
We're under zombie attack!
They took Pam! They took Garth!
They're here for our immortal souls!
Oh, please.
You think I'm falling for that?
There's no such things as witches, and there's no such thing as--
[plant zombies groaning]
[Karen, Jessica and Barbara screaming]
[Barbara grunting]
[grunting]
Hey, Hal.
How about some help here?
[gasps]
[groaning]
Uh-oh.
[groaning]
Hey, uh...
I don't feel so good.
Can one of you girls, like, make me a sandwich or something?
Hal...
Are you okay?
[groaning] Oh, yeah.
Totally fine.
[voice distorting]
Put me in, Coach,
I'm ready to...
[Jessica] Hal?
[Hal moaning]
-[grunts]
-Babs! Over here.
[Barbara grunts]
Our strikes have no effect on him.
He must be completely brain-dead!
I want a sandwich.
How can you tell?
-[groaning]
-[Barbara and Jessica grunt]
'Sup, ladies?
[Karen grunts]
[groaning]
Um, guys?
[Jessica] The door isn't gonna last long.
-We're trapped!
-We need our power thingies.
Where are our thingies?
It's in the sack... hanging from the tree outside behind my mom's minivan.
What?
We're doomed.
No. No, we're not.
We don't need powers.
We're three intelligent, capable young women.
We'll just have to... improvise!
Ready, girls?
Wait a minute, Jess.
Are you sure about this?
[stammers] I mean, aren't you a pacifist?
Ah, but you forget, Karen,
I'm also vegan.
And I eat plants for breakfast.
[groaning]
[all grunt]
[Karen and Jessica grunting]
[screaming]
-[Barbara grunts]
-[plant zombie gasps]
-[grunting]
-[groaning]
Ya!
[plant zombie groaning]
-[roaring]
-[Karen screaming]
You're coleslaw, sucker!
[Karen grunts]
Almost there.
[moaning]
[plant zombie screams]
-[Barbara grunting]
-[screams]
I always knew this is how I'd go out.
I always hated vegetables!
[grunting]
Yes! [exclaims]
[groaning]
Oh, no.
[screaming]
Now, this is the glory of nature.
[Green Lantern screaming]
[chainsaw whirring]
[breathing heavily]
[all breathing heavily]
[grunting]
I am Aqualad, king of the oceans.
[grunts]
[engine starts]
Look!
Pam, you're alive!
Hey... you're alive, too.
Yay.
-[Jessica gasps]
-[tires screeching]
We forgot Hal.
[Hal] Um, hello?
Not funny, guys.
It's cold in here, and I'm hungry. Can someone make me a sandwich?
Please?
[theme music playing]

Dinner for Five[]

Living the Nightmare[]

[theme song playing]
♪ When super me
Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically
Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side ♪
♪ Look out, world
We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together
Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow! ♪
[Kara snoring]
[exhales]
[yawns]
Ugh!
Yah!
Yah!
[grunting]
Yah!
[screaming]
[grunting]
[yells]
[panting]
[exhales]
[screaming]
Kara, are you okay?
Um... [chuckles]
Yeah, yeah.
Just a little nightmare,
I guess.
Ooh! I read in Batman's Guide to Criminal Psychoanalysis,
12th Edition, that nightmares are how our subconsciousnesses force us to look at our deepest insecurities and fears, and the emotions in them are actually the emotions we need to be examining in the real world because they always connect to whatever's happening in our lives and they always tell us things about ourselves that our conscious minds can't handle.
Or did I dream that?
Oh! Nightmares are the worst.
I despise nightmares.
I do, too.
What? Since when are all of you so nightmarey?
What, you don't have bad dreams?
I don't have fears or insecurities, hidden or otherwise, and I simply don't understand why you girls would, either.
You're all too fabulous for that sort of thing.
Can we please stop talking about this?
Don't worry, Karen, there aren't gonna be any bad dreams at this sleepover
'cause we're gonna party all night long.
[snoring]
[all snoring, sighing]
Ugh!
[grunts]
[grunts angrily]
Kara?
[grunting]
[whimpering]
[grunts, mumbles]
[grunts]
[whimpers]
What is going on?
[gasps] Magic.
[whispering spell]
[gasps] Oh...
Oh, my.
[all whimpering]
Well, if that's what it takes.
[casting spell]
[whimpers]
[Kara's voice echoing] Hello?
-Hello?
-Karen.
Oh, thank goodness you're all right.
[stammers]
I'm Karen Beecher.
And I'm here to... to...
[male voice]
Get on with it, kid.
We ain't getting any younger, you know?
I'm here to... to... give a speech about the quantum mechanical model of the atom!
Oh, no. Public speaking.
Karen's greatest fear.
[Karen breathing heavily]
Oh, no. I forgot to study!
[male voice] Tsk, tsk, tsk!
So irresponsible.
[laughing maliciously]
Karen! This isn't real.
If anything, you study too much.
This is just a dream.
[screams]
Not the bunny jammies from Aunt Carol.
-[laughter]
-[male voice mocking]
Aw, the baby's cwying... in front of the whole school!
[laughter continues]
[giggling]
She won't wake up.
I've gotta find another way.
-[rustling]
-[distant howling]
[grunts]
Silence. They approach.
Jaws of steel, fangs like swords.
Their kind have terrorized the forests of the Earth since time immemorial, ravaging whatever creature they should find for their supper.
Yet, in the world of man, they place these monsters in the cradles of babes!
[teddy bear]
I like to hug.
Wow! Really, Diana?
[both] I like to hug.
[all] I like to hug.
I like to hug.
-[screams] Demons!
-[teddy bears chanting]
I like to hug.
[Wonder Woman]
Ugh! Their horrible softness!
[chanting continues]
[laughing wickedly]
-Hello?
-[Batgirl exclaiming]
Zee! Quick! Run!
[scoffs] What now?
Easter bunnies?
-[roars]
-Oh, yeah, that's much scarier.
[both screaming]
[both exclaiming]
Quick. Throw me the shark-repellent Bat-Spray!
The what-y what what now?
Hurry!
Geez, Babs, your nightmares are weirder than you are.
[fast-paced music playing]
[laughing wickedly]
You. What are you doing in my friends' dreams?
[laughing]
Riding a flying shark.
Typical Wednesday.
-[grunts angrily]
-[laughing]
[screams] Help!
Who are you, you little creep?
[male voice]
I am the bump in the night.
I am the monster under the bed.
I am Fuseli,
Lord of Night Terrors!
What, am I supposed to be impressed?
Why are you in my friends' dreams?
Ah-ah-ah. Nightmares.
That's where the real fun is.
Them delicious fears and insecurities to feed off of.
[laughing wickedly]
[Fuseli] This one here, there's a gold mine of fears and insecurities in these types.
You just have to dig deep enough.
[female voice echoing]
You're not good enough,
Jessica Cruz.
You're weak!
Useless!
The Green Lantern Corps made a huge mistake.
[Fuseli laughing]
These shelves sound just like my ex.
Jess, hang on!
[casting spell]
My powers!
These nightmares belong to me.
You ain't got no power here.
-[grunts angrily]
-[shelves creaking]
[straining]
I have no power... here.
[casting spell]
Where you going?
Things were just getting fun.
Ugh, what's this?
The "before" on a home makeover show?
This, my rude little friend, is you making a critical mistake.
-[upbeat music playing]
-You see, you're in my dream now.
And since I have no fears or insecurities, that means you have no power.
But I do!
[music continues playing]
What, am I supposed to be impressed?
[grunts]
[Zatanna]
Why you slimy little...
[grunts]
[Fuseli] Speaking as a monster under the bed, you find the most entertaining things under here.
[gasps]
What, you didn't know about this?
Everyone's afraid of somethin'.
Even you.
Ooh, someone else magically locked these fears away for you.
[laughs] Very interesting.
It's, like, foreshadowing or something.
[gasps, stammers]
But that's... me.
[Fuseli] Your fear is the funnest kind.
[grunts]
[straining] What is this?
You.
You're afraid of yourself... and what your magic might do.
[Zatanna grunts]
[gasps]
[laughing]
-You're afraid that somewhere deep inside is something dark.
-[gasps]
[casting spell]
-No!
-Just like her.
Crush!
[straining]
[Zatanna grunting]
So much for... [mimicking]
"Ooh, I'm Zatanna,
I don't have no fears or insecurities."
Wrong!
-[straining]
-[cracking]
I am not afraid!
[casting spell]
[grunts]
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What do you think you're doing?
[grunts] You're right, Fuseli.
This is my magic!
All of it.
What I know, what I've yet to discover, good or bad, dark or light, it's mine to do with as I choose!
And I choose to end your reign,
Lord of Night Terrors.
[screams]
[casting spell]
[grunts] Let me go, you little...
[girls groaning]
Huh?
Oh! Uh, girls, meet Fuseli...
-[straining]
-Lord of... well, nothing now. [chuckles]
He was causing your nightmares.
But don't worry.
Outside the dream realm, he's completely, totally, and utterly powerless.
Hmph!
So, what do we do with him?
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe something to do with hidden fears and insecurities?
[gulps]
That'll be... I don't know,
800 bucks or somethin'.
But, like, it says 49 cents.
Make sure you're giving our customers the fair prices and quality product they expect from
Burrito Bucket.
Remember, if you can make it through your six-month quality control audit without any errors, you're eligible for a bonus.
That'll sure help with the bills, am I right?
And if you can make it to a year, you'll be on the middle management track.
Gotta have dreams!
What a nightmare.
[theme music playing]

All About Zee[]

[theme song playing]
♪ When super me
Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically
Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side ♪
♪ Look out, world
We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together
Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow! ♪
[bell ringing]
[Casey] Ugh! Uh!
Grr! Ugh!
[sighs]
[Casey and Zatanna groan]
Oh, no. I'm so sorry.
I am such a klutz.
[Zatanna] Are you all right?
[Casey gasps]
You're... you're...
I should be asking if you're all right.
Silly ol' Casey Krinsky.
Of course
I bump into Zee Zatara, the most popular girl in school.
[gasps] Your bag?
It's yours now.
Really?
The most popular girl in school.
And the nicest.
[giggles] Oh, you.
What did you say your name was? Cassie?
Uh, well, sort of.
It's Casey... Krinsky.
-Nice to meet you, Casey.
-Huh?
[gasps]
See you around.
You'll... see me around?
[gasps]
Come on, dude, or we'll be too... late.
Did we miss it? Again?
Deceivers.
How can they call it "Tot Day" if the supply of tots do not last a full day?
[Casey] Hey. Hey, Zee.
Over here! Over here!
Look, it's my new friend.
Ladies, I'd like you to meet... eh...
Oh, um, Casey Krinsky.
Here, I, um,
I got you all some tots.
No way.
You got us tots?
That's so sweet!
Thanks, Kazinsky.
You're all right.
Oh, it was my pleasure.
I'd do anything for Zee Zatara.
[enunciating] Anything.
[Zatanna chuckles nervously]
-[Zatanna gasps]
-Hi, Zee!
I typed up your itinerary for the whole day and picked up a half-caf vanilla latte.
Your favorite, right?
[chuckles nervously] Thanks.
[gasps]
I noticed a conflict on your calendar, so I had Roxanne move her dance recital to next week so you can attend
Sandra's quinceanera.
How did you get my calendar?
It's on your phone.
[Zatanna gasps]
How did you get my phone?
It was in your purse.
You should get a lock on that.
Here's a lock. The combination is your great-grandmother's birthday backwards.
See you tonight.
Uh, tonight?
-[Casey] Check your calendar!
-[phone beeps]
Yo! Where's Carly?
I asked her to go across town to get my
Stella-Gabrielles re-heeled.
Uh! On Tot Day?
I need to talk to you. Alone.
That girl is obsessed with me.
Who, Kerry Clemente?
She's the nicest person ever.
That's what she wants you to think!
Meanwhile, she's getting me lattes, helping me with my math tests, rearranging my social calendar so I can attend every event I want to!
Uh, and?
Oh, Zee.
[Kara] Hey, there she is.
-McCloskey, you made it.
-[Zatanna whimpers]
And you brought tots!
I cut a deal with the lunch lady before I left, and I re-heeled the Stella-Gabrielles, and I got a little gift for everyone on the way back.
[meowing]
[all cooing]
So adorable.
I named this one Zee.
[yelps]
[Zatanna sighs]
[yelps]
That's it, that's it, that's it!
I've had enough!
I am not your BFF, Caitlyn!
You've got to stop following me around like... like some little lost kitten!
Uh, I'm sorry. It's just...
Oh, it's all right.
I wouldn't want to be friends with me either.
[sighs]
Katie, wait.
Casey.
I... I'm sorry, too.
I guess I just misunderstood.
You were really nice to do all those things for me.
Anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend.
[Zatanna chuckles]
Okay.
Okay, that's good.
It's, uh...
[chuckles nervously]
Time to let go now.
-Let go? [grunts]
-[Zatanna groans]
[gasps]
You have everything a girl could ever wish for.
Popularity, beauty, friends.
And I'll never let go until...
[gasps]
I have it too!
What... what are you?
[chanting spell]
Huh? My magic...
Your magic?
[chanting spell]
[grunts]
[Zatanna groaning]
[gasps]
You mean... my magic.
You really are the most amazing girl in school.
[laughs] Oops. I mean...
"were" the most amazing girl in school.
That's how it was on Themyscira.
Hi!
[chuckles softly]
-Okay. Hmm...
-Hey!
[groans]
That girl is an imposter!
You mean Zee?
Yes! I mean no. I mean...
I mean, come on, just look at her.
See? Totally obsessed with me.
Wow, Zee.
You were right about her.
Yeah. No tots are worth this.
Can't you see it?
She's not Zee, I'm Zee.
Me. Not her. I'm Zee Zatara.
I'm Zee Zatara!
[slurping and munching]
Is something wrong, Zee?
Oh, no. Not at all.
I just don't see how life could ever get any better than this.
I can. Hot sauce!
[Barbara grunts]
[yelps]
[screaming and groaning]
[gasps]
You're the... the Super Hero Girls?
Uh... yeah.
[laughs wickedly]
Not for long.
[Casey laughing wickedly]
Kneel before me, Metropolis.
For I am Mega Casey Krinsky!
[crowd gasps and screams]
I will be the most popular girl in school... and the most powerful hero in the world!
Plus, I'm super-hot!
Dude, did she just say
Mega Cammy Kombucha?
Who cares!
We got some hero-ing to do.
[grunts]
I think they took our powers.
Fear not, Kara.
If we work together, this villain is--
We have no chance.
[laughs wickedly]
It's the ultimate makeover.
Finally, that mousy, sad little girl is gone!
[laughs wickedly]
Or at least she will be.
[whimpers]
[continues whimpering]
Face it, old me, it's over!
[screams]
[coughs]
[groans, gasps]
[Mega Casey] Hmph!
You can't hide forever.
[grunts]
[Mega Casey] Hmph!
Smoke and mirrors,
Princess of Prestidigitation?
I expected better from you.
Come out here and fight!
[grunts]
[Mega Casey] I'm sick of seeing my pathetic little face!
I mean your face!
I mean... [screams]
What's the matter, Casey?
Don't like what you see?
No! Nobody does!
You're wrong! I liked you.
-[Mega Casey grunts]
-At first.
So did my friends.
It was the evil plot to change who you are that mucked it all up.
[Mega Casey grunts]
Stop it! Quiet!
You could have had the friendship and acceptance you wanted if you had only accepted yourself.
[chanting spell]
[Mega Casey] No!
[Casey sobbing]
[Zatanna] How about a fresh start, Casey?
Friends?
[Casey] Oh.
Forget it!
I'll get you for this,
Zee Zatara!
Soon the whole school, the whole city, will know who the Super Hero Girls really are!
Your crime fighting days are over.
Over!
We are so sorry, Zee.
[sighs] It's okay.
You know who I am now.
And so will everyone else,
I suppose.
[Casey] They're lying to you, everyone!
Diana Prince is Wonder Woman!
And Kara Danvers, she's Supergirl!
And I'm Bumblebee.
No, Karen Beecher is.
Oh. And you're
Zee Zatara, right?
That's what you said yesterday.
No, I was Zee Zatara, but now I'm not.
Now I'm me again.
I'm Casey Krinsky!
Casey Krinsky!
[theme music playing]

Tween Titans[]

[theme song playing]
♪ When super me
Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically
Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side ♪
♪ Look out, world
We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together
Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow! ♪
[Alfred] Ah.
Pardon me, Master Dick.
Getting a head start on your homework?
Oh, it's not homework, Alfred.
I just felt like writing a report on the plight of those poor tsunami victims in--
Alfred!
Bring the elephant around back, will ya?
Of course, Master Bruce.
[women cackling]
Bruce, I thought you were gonna help me with my report.
Oh, right. Maybe later, huh?
I've only got the band for three more hours.
Oh, that Bruce.
Ugh. Bruce Wayne is the worst.
You always say that.
Why do you even watch this show?
Uh, I don't.
I'm only watching it because you like it.
I hate it.
Except for that poor little orphan, Dick Grayson.
He's super sweet.
Oh, I just hope Bruce and Vicki get together this season.
[car horn honking]
Oh, gotta go.
Sure you don't wanna come?
It's only two hours of babysitting and Jess is total pro.
Nah. I got lots to do today.
Okay then. Bye.
[door opens and shuts]
[Bruce on TV] Alfred, refill the caviar fountain.
[growling]
[Karen]
I've never babysat so many kids before.
How will we manage it?
Well, it can be tough to keep things under control.
The important thing to remember is that kids crave guidance.
As long as you're the adult, the kids usually fall in line.
Trust me,
I'm the proud owner of a rare and coveted five-star review on
MetropoSits.com
[Karen] Whoa!
Yes, yes. It is impressive.
[doorbell rings]
Now, don't be nervous, Karen.
You? You... You. You're...
Alfred Pennyworth, at your service.
Welcome to
Wayne Manor East.
So, then I put the pool next to the other pool, but that meant the lake had to move.
[Alfred] The birthday chaperones have arrived, sir.
Excellent. Uh, who's birthday is it?
Uh, Master Dick's, sir.
Ah, of course.
I assume I got him something nice?
As always, sir.
And here's the birthday boy himself.
Master Dick Grayson.
These are his friends,
Kory, Victor, Garfield and Rachel.
Hi, kids.
I'm Jess and this is Karen.
Happy birthday, Dick!
Thank you, Miss Jess.
[Bruce]
Alfred! To the Bruce-mobile.
May I suggest a few guidelines?
For their safety, the children should not be permitted in the east wing.
Floatation devices are by the pool, pre-inflated.
The safety latches on the cabinets must be used...
[continues indistinctly]
And please refrain from giving sugar to little Kory.
It doesn't particularly agree with her.
No sugar for Kory.
Got it!
Excellent.
Well, then, good luck.
We're the Tween Titans!
Happy birthday to me.
[crashing]
[gasps]
[laughing] Titans, roll call!
Starfire!
Cyborg!
Raven!
Beast Boy!
And me, Robin.
And you can't tell us what to do!
Yeah, we're too old for babysitting.
And too powerful.
[screaming]
Okay... So, I think these kids might have powers.
[grunting]
Well, so do we.
There's only one thing to do.
No. Karen...
They're young.
They don't know any better.
Besides, we are the adults here.
[mechanical squeaking]
[laughing manically]
We mustn't stoop to their level.
The only powers we need are the powers of
patience, understanding...
[clamoring]
...and the wisdom to give all children, super or otherwise, plenty of freedom to express themselves.
My mom says kids need boundaries.
[piano keys strike]
Oh, sweet Karen.
Boundaries only keep things from growing.
[laughing]
[Jess] Treat them with love and they'll fall right in line.
Watch and learn.
Hey, kids!
How would you like to get to know your new best pals,
Miss Jess and Miss Karen?
See, kids love it when you try to connect with them.
Raven.
As your babysitter,
I'm interested in your feelings.
Is there anything you'd like to share?
In the dark realm of Azarath, my babysitter was the deceitful eight-legged Spider Gorgon.
Okay. Enough bonding.
Who likes party games?
See, Karen?
If you redirect kids' naturally high energy, you not only keep them under control but you earn their gratitude and respect.
Whoa!
Uh-oh.
Re-direction time.
[Robin grunting]
Do me! Do me!
[Robin grunts]
Tell you what, guys, let's just cut to the chase.
[all laughing]
Mine! Mine! Mine!
No, no, no. No sugar!
[groans]
Uh, how about another game, like...
Now maybe?
Great idea.
But first, we've got to clean up this mess.
Right, kids?
In the dark realm, children who make messes are fed to the demons.
Sounds like someone's volunteering.
Very mature, Raven.
Thank you.
Come join us when you're finished.
[casting spell]
Ooh, sorry Jess.
[Starfire screaming]
I thought pin the tail on the donkey would calm them down.
[donkey braying]
[Cyborg] Bet you I can.
[Beast Boy] Bet you you can't.
That can't be good.
[all] Go! Go! Go!
[both] Don't go! Don't go!
Don't go!
[elevator bell dings]
[both gasp]
Cannonball!
[both gasp]
[both gasp]
Oh, yeah!
I bet you can't do a flying Jet Ski.
Bet I can!
[all cheering]
Hey! Hey!
Time for birthday cake.
[all] Cake!
[chanting] Cake! Cake!
Okay... Now, let's all sit nicely and quietly for--
Hey, where's Starfire?
[squishing]
[laughing]
[screaming]
Powers?
Powers.
[laughing]
[both gasping]
That's it! Forget patience.
Forget understanding and forget the gosh darn self-expression.
It's time the
Tween Titans had a--
Karen, no.
Time out!
[panting]
Hey, it worked.
[laughing]
Bleh!
I'm sorry, Karen.
I didn't mean for all this to happen.
It's okay, Jess.
No, it's not.
Because of me, we're gonna spend eternity in a demon realm.
Cyborg will probably fly the kids into the sun.
And worst of all, my
MetropoSits rating will tank.
You're right, it's not okay.
[laughing]
So much for being the adults.
Hey, that's it.
Don't you see, Jess?
We're not adults.
Well, I guess not technically.
So, it's time to stop acting like we are.
The only way to defeat the Tween Titans is... to stoop to their level.
Hey, Cyborg, bet you can't get past my mega hi-tech locking mechanism in my locket.
Bet you I can.
Booyah!
[buzzing]
Hey.
Time to put these babies to bed.
Who are you calling babies?
[all exclaiming]
[blows raspberry]
[bike revving]
Vroom-vroom! Vroom!
[Bumblebee]
Coochee coochee coo!
[laughing]
Don't look at me.
Don't look at me!
[screaming]
Shh!
[all moaning softly]
[all snoring]
[both gasp]
[cawing]
[roaring]
[both gasp]
[lock clicking]
In the dark realm, displays of respect and affection are considered symptoms of sleepwalking.
[casting spell]
[yawns]
[continues casting spell]
Good... heavens!
It almost looks cleaner than when we left.
Here you go.
[camera crew cheering]
Uh, tell me ladies.
Might we book your services for next Saturday?
[tires squealing]
[Alfred] Wait. Don't leave me.
Oh...
[theme music playing]

Emperor Penguin[]

Breaking News[]

Crash Course[]

♪ When super me
Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically
Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side
♪ Look out, world
We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together
Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow!
[alarm ringing]
[train horn blowing]
Is everyone ready for a morning of sisterhood and strenuous exercise?
Where's Karen?
I thought we said 8:00.
[phone ringing]
Hi.
I feel so bad for Karen.
She left her house at 2:30 in the morning and she still didn't make it!
Well, that's what you get for being 14 and too young to drive.
I do not understand the importance of "driving" in the world of man.
Do you not have feet to carry you?
Oh, come on, Diana, having a license is all about freedom.
The open road, not missing out on cool stuff because the Metropolis mass transit system is a total mess and you won't be able to get your license for two more years.
But mostly freedom.
And if I were to acquire a driving license, then I could transport
Karen to "cool stuff"?
-Yup.
-Exactly!
Very well, then acquire a driving license I shall!
Yes, yes, yes!
If anyone is going to ace this test, it's you after studying nonstop for two weeks!
-Public transit can take a--
-[woman] Name.
I am Diana,
Princess of Themyscira.
Uh, her name is Diana Prince!
She's an exchange student.
[nervous laugh]
From Greece.
I seek a driving license, which shall bestow upon me the freedom of a Creten ibex summiting the Samarian Gorge after...
Congratulations.
Go outside and wait for the road test instructor.
-Yes!
-Yeah!
-A perfect score!
-[child wailing]
You're gonna ace the behind-the-wheel test too,
I just know it.
What do you mean "rejected"?
Don't you know who I am?
Garth!
Listen, lady, I'm the heir to an underwater kingdom.
Garth! What are you doing?
These people are telling me
I don't qualify for a boating license.
Me! Can you believe... Agh!
Trust me, you want to see this.
After crushing this driving test, she'll drive us both home.
All right,
Ms. Prince.
Let's begin.
Guide me, O Helios.
[nervous chuckling]
[car starts]
Did you just stall the car?
It's almost impossible to stall an automatic transmission.
[engine revs]
[brakes screech]
[heavy breathing]
[Diana] One must allow the proper number of car lengths for braking distance.
Look! A family of ducklings.
We must yield!
[quacking]
Okay, Ms. Prince, let's try normal traffic speeds this time.
You can do this!
[engine revs]
-[cheers]
-[laughs]
[cheers]
Don't do it, Diana.
I thought you were ready, but you're so not--
[screaming]
[laughing]
Remember when I stole this car, and then you hot-wired it, and then you drove it?
You mean two minutes ago?
Yeah.
Memories.
Uh-oh, Kit Kat, we got company.
Wait a minute, is that
Diana Prince from school?
When did she get cool?
If Little Miss Perfect wants a race, she's got one.
What are you doing?
Pull over!
Fail me if you must, but it is my solemn duty to bring these lawbreakers to justice.
[bluegrass music playing]
Weirdest car-chase music ever.
-[engines revving]
-[tires screeching]
[people screaming]
This is an automatic.
How are you doing that?
This is not on the test!
[brakes screech]
[villains laugh]
[both gasp]
-[screaming]
-[retching]
Are you kidding me?
Uh, "kitten me."
You should have said,
"Are you kitten me?"
Rats! You're right.
[laughs]
Sorry!
She's good.
Unfortunately for her,
I'm better.
"Un-fur-tunately"!
Stop distracting me!
Rawr! Such cat-titude.
[laughing]
That is it! I am too old for this.
You pull this car over...
Hey! Hey! What are...
What are you...
[screaming]
[all screaming]
Whee!
Time to shake these fleas.
Rwar!
[tires screech]
[cheering]
[screaming]
Whee!
[whimpers]
We got 'em, Diana!
She's got us, Kit Kat!
Rawr.
No!
Nice racin' with you, ladies! [laughs]
[gasping]
I have failed, Karen.
Not only have those villains escaped unpunished, but it is possible I will not pass my driving test either.
Oh, you failed, kiddo!
You failed hard!
Teacher! In my quest to catch those lawbreakers,
I myself have disrespected your laws.
Forgive me.
Well they're not my laws, uh...
Perhaps you might offer me one more chance.
All right, fine, just get up.
-[squeals]
-That's really weird.
But if you go so much as one mile per hour too fast, you'll never get a driver's license.
Understand?
That's more like it.
Don't even think about it.
Fear not! All laws shall be obeyed.
Yeah! They're headed north on Second!
Take Fourth to Allenford and we'll bypass all the bus traffic from 23rd!
Ooh! Can I do the next chase song?
[pop music playing]
♪ You can always come back to me ♪
♪ I'll be here
♪ If you only believe
♪ You can always come back to me ♪
No way!
Phew!
♪ Where'd you go
♪ Go
♪ You go
Oh no ♪
♪ And I hope your return
Won't take too long ♪
♪ I lost
This ain't fun no more.
Lose her, will ya, Kit Kat?
[grunts]
Oh! They just made a left on De Vries!
Hurry! Right on 17th!
They're putting in a new LexBucks on 23rd and they're bound to hit traffic on Ninth!
They'll have to make the turn!
Make the turn!
How did they find us?
It's impossible!
"Im-paws-ible"!
Come on!
Look out!
[screams]
Look out!
[quacks]
[tires screech]
[all screaming]
[all panting]
One move.
That was the best parallel park
I've ever seen.
Well, Karen, now that I've acquired my driving license, where shall we licensed drive first?
I'll just take the bus.
[theme music playing]

League Of Shadows Part 1[]

[theme song]

Aiden: I never mean to love you, Alexandra. It was your texts. They... awaken something in me.
Alexandra: What about Kaitlyn? She'd block me if he ever found out about this.
Aiden: I don't care if she blocks...
Kara: You guys! Con you believe it? There's a secret show at the Lazarus Pit tonight. I'm finally gonna get to see them live! The greatest band in the history of the universe... Ra's Al Ghul and The League of Shadows.
[heavy metal music playing]
Kara: Guys, hear Kitty Kumbata? She shreds harder than every other guitarist combined. And White Willow, I mean, she positively screams rock and roll! And Zeddmore Washington, no drummer in the world has more attitude than this guy. Ooh, and let's not forget the legend behind it all, the coolest musician ever to walk the Earth... [plays metal guitar lick] My personal guitar hero, Ra's Al Ghul!
[amp crackles]
Zee: [blow]
Hal Jordan: Never heard of him.
Kara: [huff] He's only a legend to people with real taste, which you guys obviously don't have.
[pop music playing]
Kara: [gasp]
Karen: Oh, hey, guys. Have you heard the latest hit from my... favorite band... um... Up Past 8?
Hal Jordan: Wait. Did you say Up Past 8? [laughs] I can't believe you listen to that boy band garbage. What are you, 14?
Karen: Um. Yes?
Kara: Ugh. That is not music.
Karen: Well, I think they're cute and have very nice singing voices.
Kara: [groan]
Karen: Especially Braxton McNair. His voice is so dreamy! And CJ Casablanca writes the lyrics. Pure poetry! And Ashton Van der Wurf's moves make me want to dance all day long! Their music just makes me feel so good. And I have two tickets for tomorrow's show! Who wants to go with me?
Aiden: I never mean to love you, Alexandra. It was your texts.
Karen: [groan]
Kara: Ah, forget them, Beecher. Some people just don't get music, you know, like we do.
Karen: So you'll go to the show with me?
Kara: Um, yeah, no.
Karen: But I thought--
Kara: Beecher... Ah, Beecher, Beecher, Beecher. Here's the deal. Music is about being cool, and Up Past 8? Well, they're just way too popular to be cool.
Karen: That doesn't make sense.
Kara: Tell you what, I'll see your two tickets and raise you two cooler ones. You, my friend, are coming with me to see Ra's and the League. But first... we gotta work on your image.
Karen: [gulp]
[rock music playing]
Karen: [gasp]
Kara: Not bad, not bad. I still think a nose ring and a sick neck tattoo would pull the look together.
Karen: [screech] A what?!
Kara: Dude. You don't know what you're missing. I'd be covered in those things if it weren't for this dumb, impervious super skin. And don't even get me started about my hair, it'd be like ten colors! Ugh! Come on, we're gonna be late!
Karen: [shudder]
[heavy metal music playing]
Karen: I don't know, Kara. I feel a little weird about all this.
Kara: Oh, pumpkin, who cares how you feel. You look cool. Now that you're not so you, they're sure to let us in. All right, kid, show me what you got. Get your freak on.
Karen: [grunting]
Kara: Oh, whoa, okay, okay, not... not that freaky. All right, watch me. [breathes deeply] Yeah! Now, you try.
Karen: [deep breath] Yeah! [groaning]
Kara: You're doing great, kid! [whooping]
Karen: [screaming]
Ra's Al Ghul: Bring her to me.
Kara: [laughing]
Karen: [gasp] Ah! [grunt]
Kara: Okay, okay. We gotta work on your dismount.
Ubu: You have been summoned.
Karen: [gasp]
Kara: Summoned?
Ubu: Backstage.
Kara: [whispering] Backstage. [normal voice] Yeah!
Karen: Uh, Kara? Kara! Oh, no! Oh, sorry. Um, excuse me. Oh! Whoa! Kara! [exclaims] [gasps] [yelps]
Kara: There you are.
Karen: Oh, thank goodness.
Kara: Come on. [exclaiming]
Ubu: Come. The band awaits.
Karen: [gasp]
Kara: [exhale] All right. Okay, let's be cool. Remember, Karen, bands can smell the lame a mile away.
[guitar power chord]
Ra's Al Ghul: Please. Step inside.
Karen: Um, Kara, can we, like, maybe, just go?
Kara: Karen, how many times I gotta tell you, just be--
Karen and Kara: [gasp]
Ra's Al Ghul: Welcome, Kara Danvers. I am Ra's Al Ghul.
Kara: [gasp] Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh! Ra's Al Ghul knows my name! How does Ra's Al Ghul know my name?!
Karen: How does Ra's Al Ghul know your name?
Ra's Al Ghul: Of course I know your name, Kara Danvers. I'm very much aware that you are a super fun. One of my most faithful Shadow puppets.
Kara: The faithfulliest!
Ra's Al Ghul: Indeed. I have tour the world with The League of Shadows many times over, as I have amassed an army of the most discerning Shadow puppets. True believers to my cause.
Karen: Um... cause?
Ra's Al Ghul: Oh, rock and roll, of course.
Kara: Yeah, Karen, rock and roll. Duh. I mean, best cause of all, am I right, Mr. Al Ghul?
Ra's Al Ghul: I can tell that you, above all, could be my ultimate Shadow puppet. In fact, I've rarely met someone so cool.
Kara: [gasp] I'm cool?
Ra's Al Ghul: Because of your dedication, I wish to bestow upon you a gift.
Kara: [gasp] The Demon's Fang.
Ra's Al Ghul: My signature guitar pick. Enjoy the show. [laughter]
Kara: [whooping]
[Ra's Al Ghul]
We will purify the world
Of all atrocities!
And all who remain
Will be ruled by me!
Karen: Uh, are you hearing this?
Kara: What? It's just metaphors. They don't really mean it.
[Ra's Al Ghul]
Our lyrics aren't metaphors!
We really mean it!
Karen: Yeah, okay. And I really mean it when I say I really think we should go.
Kara: Huh? Oh, you and your feelings. Can't you just bask in the coolness of Ra's Al Ghul? Huh?
[crowd cheering]
Ra's Al Ghul: This one goes out to a very special Shadow puppet... Kara Danvers.
[rock music playing]
Karen: Kara. Kara? Kara, can you hear me?
[Ra's Al Ghul]
Welcome to my show
I'm happy that you're here
Basking in the glow
Of The League of Shadows
All I ask of you
Is possession of your soul
That will do just fine
When you're mine
Don't ask why
Every good Shadow Puppet will do what I say
It's your power that I covet
And you will obey
You're mine
Follow blind
Your weakness is my strength
And the Demon's Fang
Will guarantee fidelity
And you will obey
Now, you belong to me
You're under my control
You'll do all that I say
I will choose your role
Just let go
Every good Shadow Puppet will do what I say
It's your power that I covered
And you will obey
You're mine
Follow blind
Nothing can save you from my sinister dream
The shadows have awakened
You must obey me

League of Shadows Part 2[]

[theme song]

Hal Jordan: Ugh, I hate cut scenes! Let's go already!
Garth Bernstein: Cut scenes are essential to advancing the story, and ultimately...
Hal Jordan: All right, here we go.
[video game beeping]
Hal Jordan: You're done for, dude. The Just Before Duskgame is my jam.
[video game beeping]
Hal Jordan: Ha! Eat it, Garthexandra! Your heart meter, just like you, is going down!
[computer beeping]
Garth Bernstein: Plat it right, Hal! Kaitlyn would never do that!
[video game beeping]
Garth Bernstein: [whimper]
Hal Jordan: I'm gonna take all your hearts, and then I'm gonna take Aiden!
Barry Allen: Ooh.
Karen: [sliding] [sigh]
Hal Jordan: Ha! Check it out, it's Karen Danvers!
Jessica: Whoa, looks like someone had fun.
Karen: Yeah, I guess.
[heavy metal music playing on headphones]
Karen: Ugh.
[upbeat music playing on headphones]
[rumbling]
Karen: [whimper]
Kara: What up, losers? You so missed out last night. Ra's Al Ghul and the League of Shadows were the bomb! The bomb!
[feedback whine]
Babs: [gasp]
[static crackling]
Babs: [gasping]
Kara: Yo, Jess. Wanna play Kick the Can?
Jessica: Kick the-- Oh!
Kara: I win!
Jessica: [groan]
Kara: Hey, Zee-kazoid.
Zee: [gasp]
Kara: I got a game for you, too. 52 pick up! BOOM!
Karen: [gasping]
Kara: [laughter] Man, what's with you guys? It's lame city in here. Hey, Prince, you look like you need a breather. Excuse me. Oops. [scoff] First, no taste in music. Now, no sense of humor? I don't even know why I bother coming over here. I'm out.
[ceiling smashing]
[debris clattering]
Karen: Um, is it just me, or is Kara acting a little different than usual?
Barry Allen: That was different than usual?
Karen: [scream] My tickets! Where are my tickets?
Hal Jordan: Ha! They probably spontaneously combusted from sheer lameness. Ooh, baby, baby Ka-boom!
Jessica: [grunt]
Karen: They were just here, and now they're gone. [gasp] Do you think... Do you think Kara took them?
[all laughing]
Karen: Hmm. [gasp]
Kara: In my way! In my way! In my way! In my way...
Karen: No.
Kara: Coming through.
Karen: [gasp] How could you, Kara? Actually, why would you?
[girls groaning]
Girl: Hey, watch it!
[men groaning]
Man: No.
[buzzing]
[crowd cheering]
[laughing]
Karen: [gasp] Eep! Hmm. Something funny's going on [gasp] Ra's Al Ghul. What's he doing at an Up Past 8 concert?
Ubu: Uh... What are we doing at an Up Past 8 concert?
Ra's Al Ghul: Why, Ubu, don't you remember? Tonight, my friends, our glorious work begins! Ra's Al Ghul and the League of Shadows will take our place as the great purifiers of the world! For too long, humanity has infested this planet. Now the time has come to eradicate humanity and all its evils form the world. We shall start anew!
[all cheering]
Ra's Al Ghul: [panting]
Crowd: [chanting] Up Past 8! Up Past 8! Up Past 8!
Ra's Al Ghul: Our Shadow Puppet is ready. Tonight, my acolytes, we shall rid the planet of mankind's atrocities, and we shall start with the most obscene example of human weakness. Bad music!
Karen: [gasp]
Ra's Al Ghul: Prepare, my minions, to behold our newest, most powerful weapon. One that can be controlled with... a stone from outer space.
Karen: Stone form outer space? Computer, analyze substance.
[beeping]
[electronic voice] Cross-referencing. Molecular analysis suggests Kryptonian orin.
Karen: [gasp] Kryptonite! But I thought Kryptonite was green.
[electronic voice] The alien substance known as Kryptonite is found in multiple colors. Red Kryptonite is the most unpredictable. Computer modeling indicates a range of possible effects on Kryptonians, including excessive hair growth, moodiness, transformation into ant-headed humanoids, susceptibility to mind control, and mild acne.
Karen: Mind control? [gasp] Ra's Al Ghul's using Red Kryptonite to take down Up Past 8! [hyperventilating] What do I do?! What do I do? [gasp] [computerized beeping] It's Bumblebee. I need help. Fast.
Crowd: [cheering] [chanting] Up Past 8! Up Past 8! Up Past 8! Up Past 8! Up Past 8!
[thud]
Ra's Al Ghul: And now, the cleansing begins.
[Hal Jordan, Barry Allen and Garth Bernstein]
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Karen: Sorry, guys, this is for your own safety. But for what it's worth, I think you're all the cute one.
[Hal Jordan]
You gotta listen to me girl
What I see is gonna rock your world
That guy is not the one for you
When you look a little closer
[Garth Bernstein]
Now
[Hal Jordan]
You can see it's just a poseur
[Barry Allen]
Ow!
[Hal Jordan]
And I'm the one that's true
[Hal Jordan, Barry Allen and Garth Bernstein]
Let me save you with my love
Zee: Is it me, or is Hal really into this?
[Hal Jordan, Barry Allen, and Garth Bernstein]
And I'm never giving up on us
Let me save you with my love
Can you see through all the fluff
And let me save you with my love
Kara: [grunt]
Diana: Supergirl, we will not allow this villain to control you!
[Hal Jordan]
Girl, look into my not-red eyes
When you're gonna realize?
All he does is tell your lies
[Hal Jordan, Barry Allen, and Garth Bernstein]
Let me save you with my love
I will fight, I'll be tough
And I'm never giving up on us
Let me save you with my love
Can you see through all the fluff
And let me save you with my love
[Supergirl]
You belong to me
You're under my control
You do all that I say
I will choose your role
Karen: [yelp] [scream]
Hal Jordan: Oh, hey, BB baby, enjoying the show?
Karen: Hal! Supergirl's got Ra's Al Ghul's mind-control song stuck in her head. The only way to get it out is to hit her right in the heart. You gotta make her feel something.
Hal Jordan: I got just the thing.
Karen: [gasp]
Hal Jordan: Up Past 8, up too late, break it down!
[Hal Jordan, Barry Allen and Garth Bernstein]
Let me save you with my love
That love is super strong
And his power's super wrong
We wrote this super song to shake you, wake you up
So snap out of it, girl
Let's save the world with your love!
Let me save you with my love (Let us save you)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (Let us save you)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
[Hal Jordan, Barry Allen and Garth Bernstein]
Let me save you with my love
I will fight, I'll be tough
And I'm never giving up on us
Let me save you with my love
Can you see through all the fluff
And let me save you with my love
[crowd cheering]

House Pest[]

♪ When super me
Becomes super we ♪
♪ Suddenly, magically
Pretty automatically ♪
♪ Crushing it side by side
♪ Look out, world
We're Super Hero Girls ♪
♪ Now that we're together
Gonna get that super life! ♪
♪ Wow!
[yawn]
Studying is hard you guys.
[alarm ringing]
Hey! Diana's bag.
[Jessica] Oh no problem
We'll drop it off to her.
Wait a minute.
Where are we going?
Huh?
[brakes screech]
So, you're telling me
that we've known Diana
for months now
and absolutely, positively,
none of us know
where she lives?
I don't know.
Well, I don't know
where she lives,
but I do know she's
in Centennial Park right now.
How do you know that?
The tracker
on the phone! Duh.
You all have one.
Babs, can you just one
not be creepy?
[Barbara] Weird.
It says she's right here.
[Diana] Sisters!
I did not expect to see you
until tomorrow.
Dude, have you been living
in a tree this whole time?
Of course.
When Amazons take up a quest
far from home as I have,
they sleep where
the day lands them.
Diana Prince, you simply
cannot live like this.
Yeah, come on.
We can't let you
stay out here.
Well, then where
would you have me live?
Welcome to your new home.
[Diana] This is most
unexpected kind Jessica.
We adopt all kinds
of animals in need.
Why shouldn't we adopt
a stray friend in need?
Here's the living room.
Wonderful!
And where is the dying room?
And here's the bathroom.
Hmm. At school there are
porcelain thrones for all.
Oh, yeah. Well,
in most people's bathrooms,
there's usually just one.
I shall not fight you
for your throne, Jessica.
I submit.
Or you could use this one
and I'll use
the one downstairs...
I have to run to the airport
to get my parents.
Just do what you do
at your own home.
Run a bath,
make a snack, relax.
[Jessica] Don't worry,
Diana is incredibly
conscien...tious.
[sizzle]
Parents of Jessica,
I am preparing
the evening feast.
Your neighborhood
is rich with game.
[crumble]
[scream]
I have also run a bath,
as you suggested.
[nervous laugh]
Then two dabs of
overnight rejuvenating
sunflower extract
and rice serum and...
Voila! That is the patented
Zee Zatara bedtime ritual.
Fascinating.
This is the most
important part.
The secret ingredient
that makes it all work.
Beauty sleep.
Many thanks
for your kindness Zee.
May Posidia guide you
on your dream journey.
[Zatanna snoring]
[Diana chanting]
Posida! Posida!
[Zatanna rouses]
[gasp] Diana?
Ah! You have awoken.
Now, I may share
my bedtime ritual.
[vocalizing]
[Diana breathing heavily]
Posida! Posida!
[Zatanna snoring]
[Diana] Zee! Zee!
Are you awake?
I am thirsty.
Can I have some water?
[metallic scraping]
[grumble]
This carpeting is
much too comfortable.
What is a concierge?
Do you hear that?
Was that the Chimera?
DIANA! I have been
incredibly tolerant
of your bedtime rituals,
your vandalizing of my bedroom,
and your multiple requests
for room service.
But the time has come
for you to GO TO SLEEP!
[breathing heavily]
[sigh]
[alarm ringing]
[shriek]
[hiss]
Huh?
[yawn]
-[bird chirping]
-Oh! [laugh]
[growl]
[shatter]
[Karen] Don't worry, Diana,
everybody loves staying
at my house.
We've got every
modern convenience.
[gasp]
[devices whirring]
Watch this.
Athena, television on.
[Athena] Initiating
entertainment protocol.
[whale sing]
Athena, blinds closed.
Initiating light control
protocol.
You try.
Just ask Athena
for anything you want.
Athena, O Goddess of Wisdom,
rain courage down
upon my soul
so that I may withstand
Karen's modern conveniences.
Initiating lawn irrigation
protocol.
Uh-oh.
Here. You find
something good to watch.
I'll be right back.
Uh...
[whale sing]
Uh...
She just needs time.
-[exclaim]
-[TV continues indistinctly]
♪ [dance music] ♪
Help me, Athena!
I AM UNDER ATTACK!
Initiating security protocol.
WHOA!
Diana! Diana!
You're going down! CEASE!
The console on the wall!
Press the buttons.
Wait...
-[grunt]
-[beep]
Deactivating security protocol.
[gasp]
[sigh]
I did not fare well
with the other families.
What if yours
does not like me neither?
Diana, the Danverses
never have anything bad
to say about anyone.
And I mean anyone.
It is such a treat to have
someone from another culture
join us for dinner Diana.
I am humbled
by your kindness.
[grunt]
[slurp] Mmm.
Oh, I love it.
So freeing.
What other mealtime rituals
do you practice back home?
Mmm!
Well, after the strongest
warrior opens the feast
by taking the first bite--
[fake sneeze]
Second strongest.
...it is time for the nightly
proclamation of deficiencies.
Oh, how fascinating!
What is that?
It is when my mother pronounces
my failing and shortcomings
for all to hear.
So that I may improve.
Allow me to demonstrate.
Eliza, your decorative
plate collection
is worthy of severe ridicule.
This is a hobby for children,
not grown women.
Jeremiah, you have the reflexes
of an ancient crone.
[grunt]
You will never be able
to defend a tribe.
See? Like that.
[laughing]
[Jeremiah] Oh, so true.
Nothing bad to say about any--
My turn!
Kara, you're not very good
at remembering
-your pleases and thank yous.
-Huh?
Your bedroom smells
like rodents.
-Huh?
-Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
Your hostile attitude
is just a front to mask
your deep insecurity.
Your rebellious nature
is a sad desperate cry
for attention.
[laugh]
[growl]
[Barbara] Welcome
to the Gordon family, Diana!
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED A SISTER!
I accept your welcome.
For I, sculpted from clay
by my mother's hand,
have always wanted a father.
YES! And my dad
is the best dad ever!
Everything's perfect.
Night, girls.
See you tomorrow.
Good night, Dad!
[objects clattering]
[gasp] Diana?
Diana!
-[crash]
-[gasp] Diana!
[grunt]
[Gordon] OK, let's see here.
[muttering]
[grunt]
-Diana, what are you...
-[Diana grunting]
[humming]
-[Diana grunting]
-[Barbara] No, no, no.
-[yell]
-NO!
Sorry it didn't work out.
Sorry I tried
to vanquish your dad.
[whimper]
[sigh] My friends were right.
A tree is no proper home.
Ever for an Amazon.
Now that I'm reminded
of the love and warmth
of a real home,
I long for one more than ever.
Yet I cannot return
to Themyscira.
until I complete my mission
to save the world of man.
[sigh]
There is only one way.
If I desire to find a true home
in the world of man,
I must cease to be
Diana of Themyscira
and become, one and for all,
Diana of Metropolis.
[grunt]
-[woman] OW!
-[gasp]
[groan]
[gasp]
Is that a Hestian xiphos?
And a dory engraved
with the symbols of Artemis?
My apologies. Are you hurt?
You...
-You're an Amazon!
-[gasp]
[Diana] "Julia Kapatelis
Professor of Archeology."
That's right. My specialty
is ancient Greece,
but my first love
is Themyscira.
[gasp] This once belonged
to my Aunt Antiope.
And this...
This is Jumpa.
She was mine
when I was only 72.
[gasp] Mother.
No.
No, I must put my past aside.
I am Diana of Metropolis now.
[Julia] A warrior's home
is where she needs no armor.
[gasp]
An Amazon proverb.
Well, here in the world
of man, we say,
"Home is where the heart is."
Wherever your heart is.
This room used
to be my daughter's.
She's away at college now.
Diana, I know what it's like
to feel alone.
Out there, you can be Diana
of Metropolis if you must.
But here, if you care to stay,
you can always remain
Diana of Themyscira.
[chuckle] Mmm!
[happy sigh]
♪ [theme music] ♪

It's Complicated[]

The Bird and the Bee[]

Fantastic Beasts and How To Mind Them[]

Awesome Aunt Antiope[]

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