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Tween Titans (episode)GalleryTranscript

Speaker Dialogue
Alfred Ah. Pardon me, Mr. Dick. Getting a head start on your homework?
Robin Oh, it's not homework, Alfred. I just feel like writing a report on the plight of those poor tsunami victims in--
Batman WOO! Alfred. Bring the elephant around back, will ya?
[Everyone cheers.]
Alfred Of course, Master Bruce.
Robin Bruce, I thought you were gonna help me with my report.
Batman Oh, right. Maybe later, huh? I've only got the band for three more hours.
Robin Oh, that Bruce.
[Sign says "Make It Wayne".]
Batgirl Ugh, Bruce Wayne is the worst.
Bumblebee You always say that. Why do you even watch this show?
Batgirl Uh, I don't. I'm only watching it because YOU like it, I hate it. [sparkles] Except for that poor little orphan, Dick Grayson. He's super sweet.
Bumblebee Oh, I just hope Bruce and Vicki get together this season.
[Car beeps.]
Bumblebee Oh, gotta go. Sure you don't wanna come? It's only two hours of babysitting and Jess is a total pro.
Batgirl Nah, I got lots to do today.
Bumblebee OK then. Bye.
[Batgirl turns on TV again.]
Batman [on TV] Alfred, refill the caviar fountain.
Bumblebee I've never babysat so many kids before. How will we manage it?
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) Well, it can be though to keep things under control. The important thing to remember is that kids crave guidance. As long as you're the adult, the kids usually fall in line. Trust me, I'm the proud owner a rare and coveted five-star review on MetropoSits.com.
Bumblebee Whoa!
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) Yes, yes, it is impressive.
[Jessica Cruz holds the doorbell.]
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) Now, don't be nervous, Karen.
[Alfred appears.]
Bumblebee You?-- You... You. You're.......
Alfred Alfred Pennyworth, at your service. Welcome to Wayne MonaEast.
Batman So, then I put the pool next to the other pool, but that meant the lake had to move.
Alfred The birthday chaperones have arrived, sir.
Batman Excellent. Uh, who's birthday is it?
Alfred Uh, Master Dick's, sir.
Batman Ah, of course. I assume I got him something nice?
Alfred As always, sir.
[The Teen Titans appear.]
Alfred And here's the birthday boy himself. Master Dick Grayson. These are his friends, Kory, Victor, Garfield, and Rachel.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) Hi, kids. I'm Jess, and this is Karen. Happy birthday, Dick.
Robin Thank you, Miss Jess.
Batman [o.s.] ALFRED! To the Bruce-Mobile!
Alfred May I suggest a few guidelines? For their safety, the children should not be permitted in the east wing. Floatation devices are by the pool, pre-inflated. The safety latches on the cabinets must be used...
[Alfred continues speaking.]
Alfred ...And please refrain from giving sugar to little Kory. It doesn't particularly agree with her.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) No.. sugar... for... Kory. Got it!
Alfred Excellent. Well, then, good luck.
[Jessica Cruz and Bumblebee look.]
Robin We're the Tween Titans! Happy birthday to me.
[The Teen Titans run away and crash things.]
Robin [laughing] Titans, ROLL CALL! Starfire! Cyborg! Raven! Beast Boy! And me, Robin. And YOU can't tell us WHAT TO DO!
Cyborg Yeah, we're too old for babysitting!
[The lights crash.]
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) OK... So, I think these kids might have powers.
Bumblebee Well, so do we. There's only one thing to do.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) No! Karen... They're young. They don't know any better. Besides, we are the adults here. We mustn't stoop to their level. The only powers we need are the powers of patience, understanding, and the wisdom to give all children, super or otherwise, plenty of freedom to express themselves.
Bumblebee My mom says kids need boundaries.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) Oh, sweet Karen. Boundaries only keep things from growing. Treat them with love and they'll fall right in line. Watch and learn. Hey, kids! How would you like to get to know your new best pals, Miss Jess and Miss Karen? see, kids love it when you try to connect with them. Raven. As your babysitter, I'm interest in your feelings. Is there anything you'd like to share?
Raven In the dark realm of Azarath, my babysitter was the deceitful eight-legged Spider Gorgon.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) OK. Enough bonding. Who likes party games?
[Time-skip. Living room.]
Green lantern (Jessica Cruz) See, Karen? If you redirect kids' naturally high energy, you not only keep them under control but you earn their gratitude and respect.
Bumblebee WHOA!!
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) Uh-oh. Redirection time.
[Robin hits Beast Boy, Starfire, Raven's book.]
Cyborg Do me. Do me.
[Robin hits Cyborg. Everyone is fighting.]
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) Tell you what, guys, let's just cut to the chase.
[The treats appears. The Teen Titans jump to get the treats.]
Starfire Mine! Mine! Mine! MINE! MINE!!!!!!
Bumblebee No, no, no!! NO SUGAR!!!
[Bumblebee pushes Starfire. Starfire is getting angry.]
Bumblebee Uh, how about another game, like... now maybe?
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) Great idea. But first, we've got to clean up this mess. Right, kids?
Raven In the dark realm, children who make messes are fed to the demons.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) Sounds like someone's volunteering. Very mature, Raven. Thank you. Come join us when you're finished.
Raven Azarath Metrion Zinthos!
Bumblebee Sorry, Jess, I thought pin the tail on the donkey would calm them down.
Cyborg Bet you I can.
Beast Boy Bet you you's CAN'T!
Bumblebee That can't be good.
Teen Titans GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!
Bumblebee & Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) DON'T GO!! DON'T GO!! DON'T GO!! [goes to the elevator]
Cyborg CANNONBALL!!!!!!
[Bumblebee and Jessica Cruz gasp. Cyborg made an ULTIMATE splash.]
Cyborg Oh yeah!
Beast Boy I bets you can't do a flying Jet Ski.
Cyborg Bet I CAN!
[The Teen Titans go Jet Skiing.]
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) Hey! HEY! Time for birthday cake!
Teen Titans CAKE! [chanting] Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) OK... Now, let's all sit nicely and quietly for--
Bumblebee Wait. Where's Starfire?
Starfire [eating cake; laughing] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
[The cake explodes]
Bumblebee Powers?
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) Powers.
[Bumblebee and Jessica Cruz transform... but the transformation sequence fails.]
Beast Boy [laughing]
Bumblebee & Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) [gasp]
[The Teen Titans laugh.]
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) Karen, no!
Bumblebee [shouting] TIME... OUT!!!!!!!!
Bumblebee [panting] Hey, it worked.
[Time-skip. Nighttime. Bumblebee and Jessica Cruz are trapped. The Teen Titans had fun.]
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) I'm sorry, Karen. I didn't mean for all this to happen.
Bumblebee It's OK, Jess.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) No, it's not. Because of me, we're gonna spend eternity in a demon realm. Cyborg will probably fly the kids into the sun. And worst of all, my MetropoSits rating will tank.
Bumblebee You're right. It's not OK.
[The Teen Titans laugh.]
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) So much for being the adults.
Bumblebee Hey, that's it. Don't you see, Jess? We're not adults.
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) Well, I guess not technically.
Bumblebee So, it's time to stop acting like we are. The only way to defeat the Tween Titans it... to stoop to their level. Hey, Cyborg, bet you can't get past my mega hi-tech locking mechanism in my locket.
Cyborg Bet you I can.
[Robin throws away Jessica Cruz's ring.]
Bumblebee Booyah! [shrinks]
Robin HEY!
[Bumblebee and Jessica Cruz are taking on a fighting stance.]
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) Time to put these babies to bed.
Robin Who you calling babies??
[Bumblebee and Jessica Cruz fight the Teen Titans.]
Bumblebee [makes tickle sounds]
Raven [laughing] Don't look at me! DON'T LOOK AT ME!
[Starfire uses bolts on Jessica Cruz. Jessica Cruz activates a teddy bear to Starfire. Jessica Cruz activates a bed.]
Green Lantern (Jessica Cruz) Shh.
[The Teen Titans are in bed. Bumblebee and Jessica Cruz run and look at the mess.]
Raven In the dark realm, displays of respect and affection are consider symptoms of sleepwalking. Azarath.. Metrion.... [yawn] ...Zinthos.......
Alfred Good... heavens! It almost looks cleaner than when we left.
Batman Here you go.
[Everyone cheers.]
Alfred Uh, tell me ladies. Might we book your services for next Sunday?
[Jessica Cruz drives.]
Alfred Wait! Don't leave me! Oh...
[Time-skip. The end.]